Of Limits and Taboos
A Sanctified Outcome - that is the answer to all questions as to "Why" or anything round about my fixation onto Celebrities. It is, as projectable, not my choice per se (which should though not suggest that I don't want any of that). I have concluded for myself that its just the way it is, where well, of course, where wrong occurred I happened to be wrong, simple as that! As wrong, possibly, as me within my thought that I myself am ideal and that surrounding me isn't. Or, was I? I however realized that I have had to change, adapt, align - and so eventually that habits, as not properly cleaning up, copy themselves into similar processes - like - cleaning up my workspace. It is in that however my workflow that took and takes priority, yet, certaint things can be desturbing. As it gets deeper into the ins and outs of right and wrong about this and that and everything else connected and yet maybe connected, I find that I can't tell. Its possibly like outstanding CIA Agents or whatever Secret Service - if any - Military Compound or whatever - that cannot solve their own dilemma. Help me or not? What would I want? It is - by matter of fact - in the end not all that important if I carry that snipped of paper to the trashcan 'right now', while if, then to me it were more important to not do so. In the end we're wondering what workload can someone do, what genious does a person carry around, which individual significant perspective, etc. - to look onto the doing rather than the not doing. Its more about practical skills for what is to be done rather than practical skills that have no immediate significance. But I'm not trying to argue against anything - but to more so point out that it may also work the other way around: Improve your skills and the rest would follow. It is one thing to say what you want to be, another thing to do so. "Doing what you are" is the first hint of what you are in terms of doing something - breaking bad or not - and if someone yet shouts "Clean Up" I'd suggest that person to do so! Or, what is this about? Supporting the laziness of those kinds of folks, allowing them to rule upon us? While those that 'can do' are booted out while the world as it is getting dumped more and more into dirt? Well, or should I become a plumber instead? Argumentatively - if I'd spend 100% of my time in cleaning up I'd fart the best game conceivable out of my arse ever! And book! And so forth! What sounds like something that may or may not end out trivial was a long struggle for me. At first pushing onto the ideal, and yea, so my problem is that I have ambitions that base on skills that aren't skills of cleaning up. Naturally, being menthally challenged to figure it out, there was stress and if that stress turns out to be visible herethrough, well, sorry.
It is though just one of the many things that bothered me - and maybe yet continues to do so.
As for the topic
The matter that I care of something true and epic should be apparent by me bothering to put my identity onto the desk behind this - while being so open and public about my idea as I am. Speaking of Free Love or Religion - if I only wanted the best for me I'd be looking for a result that is less public. I'd look for people that would share my centric egomaniac belief, find a way of existing together and that'd be it.
Even so - as I primarily reflect my personal criteria in behalf of celebs, I can - with a bit of reason - certainly not do so for long without thinking of their stance to the thing. Naturally, as often regarded, it has to be a certain level of serious. This though to me doesn't mean to adapt the mainstream wherein I may appear seriously, but to work towards the point of a common understanding wherein the serious business can be seriously considered. I suppose that there are celebs like this and celebs like that; Just like verywhere in the world. And if the classic Starletts are all in the same, I reach out for many different people. There are some that are considerably closer to the average human than others - I assume - and that alone should suffice to at this point realize why I can't possibly narrow my perspective down to a fixed set of ideals other than those that I regard true and in sight on those we're back at issue #1 - they aren't to just swing with a narrow party but the entire human race.
There might be different ways and approaches of how that could be done another, a more mischievious way, but after all - I'm faaaaaaar outside of anyones personal safety zone, to begin with, so far matter of fact that you can't see when I'm backing off and when I'm not! In those terms it should be projectively obvious - although not entirely common sense (now) - that in terms of 'not' backing up the question exists at first regarding in terms of 'what', and since it is the Gospel and everything about it the next obvious thing would be - again without common sense, believe it or not - that I find people that roll 'with' it and not against it. That one would cause troubles and the other wouldn't - that should be fairly common sense!
A sanctified outcome - that would be the affirmation of what I came to believe in terms of the Holy Spirits input! So - fairly does my fixation onto Celebrities mean a number of things - like, I might be doing so just so that I have someone to refer to while writing as the target is picked so that I have a failry broad space to express myself, at least, once resorting to this site as a basis of expression and not to a bombardement through letters. Anyway ... it isn't that easy anymore when knowing the 'kinds of stuff' I add to that fixation, to say, the only real logic is that the story may not end out any other way than with celebs in my group, and well, it can also be considered a dead givaway due to the fact that at some point where everyone is Challenged, they can get the most out of it. Thus, at the point where all have to find their privacy intruded to a bit, their objections are the least significant! That also because they have chosen to live a public life - period!
Last but not least is there the issue that while it can be projected that the enemy would throw stones into my way wherever possible - I'd sooner or later have to come to direct myself to celebrities anyway; So as the stones there would be the most significant ones. Thus also from a neutral mind it is at some point the place where things would be getting down, either way. Either there is nothing - or something - well, while either way would oppinion relate to stones there as well, so, its all in all the round thing to go for. That God might posess the audacity to "choose" some of them for a higher purpose is then just more or less a triviality.
I have to assume that the Level of Confusion may thereby be immense - depending on how much where what is talked about even like inpenetrable - but, I may thereby refer to myself on the matter of "the broad mass" and come to an ending within the simple factual awareness that it is potentially never a wholesome confusion that afflicts everyone equally (indirections aside).
The House - Skyloft or Dungeon?
Am I too humble? Maybe I am - for - in some point I have to agree that the Perfection of things, sotosay, would demand me to expect what I do 'must', as the 'Vision' goes. But that is such a convulated thing. What do I have to picture "it" like? I wonder - and so - oppinions go apart. While it is so - it is obviously I who must say something and then - well - it also has to be 'pitch perfect' to the point where no objectionate oppinion will count any longer. Is that even possible? Well, either way, its there for a time where ways would split - or we start to make ourselves dependent on those that in the end wouldn't ever or never unforced go that way. Then, what might one alone do? Or, what might little Katsuni or Heidi Klum be after all? It is here so obviously not the question for what they would be for me - but for the public.
I thought about the other way where I'd start to think more of the manpower than the female part, but of all - those are to me the least that should have a say in regards of that specific decision that is to be made; In terms of which it is a singular decision projected into a realm of multiple individuals - so that well - it is flawed in a sense but on the other hand side less complicated - tendentially. Either way it does remain an individual decision though, as otherwise the group that may be considered as spoiled will first have to unspoil itself. Because the process of unspoiling is the message carried along with Baptism and Enlightenment - that there is no unspoiling without the Absolute Awareness of Gods presence - it is finally a matter that will require a deadline that is heeded by those that are into moving forward, to make it count against those that have an issue with it.
So, there once upon a time were two possibilities: Either "we" ran and hid, or we stood and that clearly. It should be clear though that by saying "come to me" I don't mean anyone to hide underneath my bed and that forever - where the story is rather that there are two ways of facing the enemy: Unenlightened or Enlightened. Which takes us to the convulated mis-interpretation of ... what am I supposed to call her? Lets just say JLL. So, apparently there is an issue, a weird conflict I have, and it is: Am I to acknowledge that I yet do need time or not? Is the deadline a thing that is to be understood as something that stood in the past, or something that is made up to someone else after all? But whom would I make it up to? It may not sound like a big deal, but then to me there is that philosophy: As I allow someone to enter my heart it is being corrupted and therefore me and what I tell may be. So, in the end, that makes me uncertain about whom to trust. Evident it thus should be that nobody is caring since I do say: Those that don't get Enlightened (a.k.a. "those that 'don't make it in'") are -not in-. That I do trust Monica so much may be carried by the point that I do believe that she is already Enlightened, a.k.a. "one of those that ..." - well, who are they? What are they? How many are there? Are they all people that were alive at the time of Christ already or are there also others that have been Enlightened within their lifetime, sotospeak? Well, Mormons might know it as the Legend of the three Desciples, others reading Matthew 16 might know them as "the Whitnesses" - while so we might simplify speaking of "the Old Schools" and "the Youngsters". We, as those that don't know, should at this point however also be able to understand the identity of the given individuals rather than a Label like 'the Illuminati', which might even be wrong! (So, to not hate on them because I call them "Illuminati" (sometimes) - but to look behind whatever Label there may be to so more generally re-evaluate the whole image).
Its an issue! Its something I can understand! If I were one of them I may not be afraid, but, certainly - careful, knowing how easily people can just ... well ... abandon all sense and reason for the flavour of having comprehended something utterly abstract. It should though be clear that what I believe is to be taken as entirely irrelevant 'there' - which leaves us with what I take as what I'm counting on: Someone will show up, we see who gets Enlightened and thats it for that. Those that have an issue with that, please, just ... for as long as you care about me or my word and oppinion, understand that I treat them like HIV, Cancer or worse. They would have to decapitate me to get that idea out of my head - and while words wouldn't count - realize - certain things about my perspective just are to count! It is a good way to look at and learn of things. Naturally, sometimes ideologies do contradict each other so brutally hard that it gets hard to embrace the idea that the other person is well-minded. Take an ideologist "Nazi" who cares of his culture in comparison to an ideologist "Communist" who cares about freedom. Who is lazy? Who has an oppinion that 'should' matter? In terms of 'constructivity' there are some people I'd prefer upon others, in therms of 'social reasoning' its again another set of people I'd prioritize. As I am open about myself being more to remain in the back I already do give it into some virtual hands; And while still a vague idea it doesn't change a thing about my stance to Enlightenment. I do not trust anyone for any reason whatsoever - and factually not even once that person runs around with a Bright Shiny flag that cannot be explained other than by a miracle - because Enlightenment just goes deeper than that! That is not theory! It is a fact by which I am - just and simply - inhomogenous to anyone that isn't! At least beyond a certain point and please don't test me on that! At first I want to be live on the scene when it happens so that I know how it is when it happens. It doesn't make sense to guess, quite not without a 'base' wherein it is however safe and right now that base is only me - and Monica maybe. If I had to guess, since basically I do already start to do so within the regards of Monica, there are a few people I don't feel objectionate about and so in deed I may have a certain sense for such things. I for instance was definitely objectionate about JLL, it is - what it is called: Blindness - that covered my sight for that or what it would have to tell me. Also, just by the way, no friendship I have ever made during my life does really matter to me! I mean, well, it may sound too hard, but - the existent Sympathies I have are too narrow compared to others. This is finally also a good segway into what follows as concept and ideal to the given status of my theory.
More Porn Browser ... stuff
At first, if you are still wondering about excessiveness - throw it away! God does care! End of the Page. What remains is what follows.
Excess is a matter of joy. Excess is enjoyable. This Excess must though remain within certain bounds to be the positive that it is - like in other words: Excessive Wealth. For All! That is the premise! As wealth is existent in this world already I take it as another good reason to say something like 'beginning there seemed reasonable!'. Then maybe try chewing on the term 'Internationalism' to have a political Label if you need one. Anyway.
At first, you should be aware of (if not, its hereby pointed out - the Writing is about how I became a Slut - but no need to reed it now or at all if you don't care about more detail) my past there. So, saying, my emotional evolution took me to a peace that I did center on. So, I'm a slut - simply speaking - which is in the end, for this purpose, being a kind of individual that has certain patterns of behavior. Those aren't automated like we were robots, but, part of my consciousness in terms of how I feel with what I'm identifying myself with and more. The question is: How is these extreme being put into boundaries? Extreme means: 100% Bitch/Whore/Harlot. To draw you a picture: Within one hour of time I can totally immerse myself (or be totally immersed) into the intellectual mood behind someone who doesn't get anything besides the bare necessities but fucked - so much, matter of fact, that living with the fact that I'm being fucked is like breathing. But eventually that imagination comes to an end, I return to my life, and so it is questionable how this 'enjoyment' relates to our space-time. Is it so that I have to exist that way physically - or is it just a fantasy to spice up the own life?
It so basically does go on when I come to the points of finding a systematic expression - something that can be objectively handled without any confusing vagueries. There I see that existence unfold within a form of Slavery - as the practical term would be Class: "Whore", Type: "Doll" - that freedom is confined into yet wearing a Slave-ish outfit. I am though well aware of the fact that this existence of mine is a more or less minor part of my actual living - and the only true reference I have to make any ongoing asumptions is the dissatisfaction with my current actual living. So it would be interesting for me to see whether a change towards my own ideal would change that into the positive - however - is that yet also not entirely up to me. It is more so that when I am required to exist that way, that kind of existence is 'true'. It is still true and that at the very moment - however - that is just the 'deeper meaning' behind some of my activity or - the way life goes. Yet for the most part I do just live within whatever Environment I'm living in - unrestrained other than by social restraints setup within given Environment, but to not overcomplicate it: It is a life where a deep-reaching understanding of the own identitcally is basically not of any use whatsoever - besides a given fact that ties the perceptions of spoken identity into my understanding. We can, and for a fact are also going to, play a game like "left or right door?" - where not both doors are white, but, that may also depend on the point of view. But, if you worry that you're gay - just forget it: You're not! If you worry that some idea about balance regarding female and male parts of the own self requires you to wear a gender you don't want to wear - also forget it! We call it: "If I could invent myself".
Kelch.html contains an introduction into the current status and some detail regarding my product which can be referenced as context to what follows (but isn't ultimately required.
The idea is to simply start collecting within Folders that are Labelled to tell you what kind of arts it contains. Once you start recognizing certain patterns yourself corresponds to you can credit them in a more objective manner. It is called: 'Expand as necessary'.
In process the Full Kink/inner Layout can be covered and does essentially need to be structured in regards to a living. This is sorted into priorities and layouts - where some layouts are simple fancy while others are more general structures of real life. Within these I so was required to create sub-folders to split one Kink into lets say an inner and an outer social reality. That way I came to 'fill' my social space with Kink here and there, where now the question would be: Can this work as a demand? Or more than that: Self Sacrifice? As for that, I also have two folders. One for that social life which feels more like a Sacrifice, and one for my "Freedom of Growth", which feels definitely like a Demand. To be the situation is somehow as clear as that both work out once taken together - where what I demand flows into what I sacrifice. In that sense I'd be 100% Bitch; While along the conclusion the only way out - in accordance to that, and more of that accordance later - is once I'm simply not required to be one; As so there is no sense to being one then!
Accordingly the question is: How much is 100%? My mind can live with, and that includes enjoying, the fact of 100% being 100%. A part of me further regards negatively to the idea of regarding those 100% as incomplete - which - is however yet a limitted form of completion. Yet - well - is it so that generalized I have kinks that relate to being Raped - which are therein credited, by me as to be understood by the viewer, within labelling myself as subject to Rapists which I want to Understand in terms of living a respectively mutilated existence.
Thus I would encourage the reader who has time and pleasure in that - to also go 'all out' - to fill the same folders I did - while crediting any non-sexual thing as it would appear as well, thus, not creating it as though it had to be Sex only. (Which makes sense because effectively I do have a few spaces left that I don't quite know what to fill with once looking for more Sex, and, as I went on it turned out that not are not just are all not sexual - a few were not - and - so, that I filled out some blanks those 100% aren't 100% Sex.
It is a concept - and - what I basically explain there leads back to the discussion. The pragmatic point is: When is a Slave a Slave? There is this sentence that goes: "There are no Slaves in Heaven" - which means as much as that I am free to invent myself however I damn well please to begin with. Then, as the words 'Sex Slave' might be a re-occuring term, well, there are spaces where that is put into a specific frame and other spaces where its not. So, if taking an ordinary Relationship for instance, the term would mean that I devote myself as Slave to someone, in which it is now a matter of her and the Environment we exist in. What I thereby am willing and unwilling to do is an individual matter there. Other times it is however not.
The point I'm leaving this with
Is to be that we can define our Limits and Taboos by saying that we only have a limitted scope wherein we may define ourselves to begin with, so that as we define ourselves into certain directions we already do impose logical boundaries that are more accurate when looking for the 'doing' instead of the 'not-doing'. There-after comes a lot of common sense and in the end, when that is not enough, we do have the ability to communicate.
A last point I'm though carrying along with myself in the end is that to make anything happen I have the idea that if Monica were to expose herself publically for me, like sucking my dick until I cum, on camera for the Internet, I will thereafter expose myself for her however she wants. This either until she fails the Enlightenment Test or its final to the point where I can't be discussed out of it anymore, except that is her wish. It is however not entirely between me and her only - which takes me to the cheapest of all proposals I guess. A wedding ceremony in that would require that both are Enlightened so the process can be 'sealed'. Thus I can't basically promise her my submission until she can proof to me that she is Enlightened - which is either that she already is or that she first must get to it. As Symbol of my Submission she will need to put a cape with hoodie around my neck and tie me to a dog-leash around my neck and that would seal it. As the Spirits Demand I take it that she is the only one I can be in free Love with giving her all the control upon me that a human being could possibly hold.
I feel that her exposure would forever be one of those unmentioned issues that I'd have - and those are extremely important I fear.
Inconclusive
Would remain to be the matter about Taboos. It should however be clear that as I'm not specific about my Masochism, the given Masochistic Elements shown need to work as primary guideline and however approached with care. Parts thereof are negated in regards of my Growth, but that is a different issue. That is then more about defining what this kind of Growth implies, although it is already so that I wouldn't withdraw myself from sophisticated knowledge. I so guess for instance that the best introduction to getting raped is to just and simply get raped cold; While effectively the product should be holding up to some standard.
Another thing is AIDS or other STDs. I guess there is a certain beauty within the ability of doing it all - while certain things are just like saying that Condoms are Taboo. It iterates to the point where I would take it all and anyway - as simply not within my power to control - but, yea well - it is either so that we get back to having Miracles to perferm or, well, STDs would require people that have any to stay outside. Not outside like entirely outside, but, some special form of Quarantene. Although I'm virtually ready to be given to literally anyone - I am heavily displeased by certain things I've seen or envisioned. This basically is the big pickle - and - to me, not having been tested since a few accidents occured - 4 to be specific, I still have to acknowledge strict consequences to possible oppinion or choices. If it were to rest on my shoulders, if things turned out so that I'd have to make the lead, then - well - none of this excessiveness would occur. If Monica isn't Enlightened already then that would also go into in about the same direction. Thus, basically it is a dead givaway to those that want to believe.
She either knows what she's doing or she doesn't - to me it really is about her. It ties into what I believe. Either I think the right way of her or I don't. If I do then there is nothing left to discuss. But I'll know it when I'll see it. Not 100% - and so you might yet wonder how this is gonna work out in detail. The detail is that when she's into taking time first then thats that - if she's not, then thats that! I'm gonna trust her on that!
This has basically no significance for you - it is just either me being stupid or the right thing. Its right for me - thats my part to it - and if I'm wrong I'm happily going to drop back into a cozy bed and cherish the fact that something good has happened. Its also much easier for you that way, less paranoid and yet nothing pushy. Of course we may worry the bad of the excess, a topic that is most significant around this one (STDs), whereby - it would basically be some kind of a Miracle already if all went fine, saying: A dark shadow like STDs will have to be taken very seriously and in that overshaddows everything in this regard quite naturally. There may be paranoia regarding that the Tests done are valid - to mention something along those lines - and there are other topics that are equally "rabid". Like, what age is suitable for what. These would basically be the big 2, but they shift focus away from God. Even if those things were unmentioned it'd be equally bad of an issue - so - it comes down to you either trusting what you say, which aligns with the Testimony - or you're just not there yet. To me it though is a do or die kind of thing. I'm not planning on running into an open knife, yet my past isn't a story that would ascertain you of me being not a person that is willing to take risks. Even stupid ones. There is 'one way' that works out gloriously - or - in other words: Arguing that God is with me would make it extremely silly if the final thing were not something really ballsy - or in yet other words: By God my ideas of 'the ideal' have changed - and so - there is a flawed and an ideal way to go. Flawed would be un-necessary caution that would stand in the way of that which is the ideal - things like: Why talking about the submission once its all sealed anyway already? So I have to suffer the consequences of my decisions - which is either good or bad. Anything in-between might be taken with an eye shut, more or less depending on which end of the spectrum, yet so I feel that the initial thing will be what defines the rest. If there is a 'shocking oh no!' - then that will stick! It doesn't make it fail - but - the way to come and the result for the public would be respectively different. Thereto the 'Moment of Truth' can be provided - it would be at some point thereafter - so - a public Test, going through all the stages of verifying an STD - with scientific advise to point out how we can be sure that the Test is accurate; But that certainly is not an ideal welcome! And then again - paranoia might be around. This Test is only valid to the eyes that can whitness and testify what happened - so - like between two parties where there is an opposition that is critical. If there is an interest that pushes it, that would be a thing - otherwise - there would be no use to it. Possibly there is no use to it after all. So the picture can be revealed that the big wish is that the bad of this world is going to melt away like snow in spring-time ... where at some point its just the mass and time that does the heavy lifting. Effectively this means that I'm going to submit to her regardless of her being able to proove me anything - which is maybe something like the last remaining Hypocracy that matters in that regard. Whether its the last one or not, it is one - so - taken and acknowledged.
How this would fit into our Projected New Era, well, that is something we'll have to figure out then. As for individualistic Homes and Cultures however the idea is that this isn't a Private thing. We would look forward to optimize the footways and that would yield us some Hive-like Core Architecture around which, well, there at first would be the Outer Realm. This one will have an equal capacity to get organized - and more and more we will thereby have to achieve an own economy - perhaps thinking about an internal Post of sorts for instance, so, transportation logistics to go the next step and onward. I'll take it that a nice Castle is the only appropriate way to accurately set the whole thing into scene, that basically mingled with generally valuing our individual cultural roots, so - a cot/villa in the forrest - hmm well, but thats not even a thing. The castle is suitable for hosting a large Hive, and that is where it'd remain. A castle is costy - and while pomp should be a Symbol of wealth and not a necessity, well, I'll take it that I'm supposed to be dragged along and live my life that way. If thats what happens this whole theory turned out feasible to be taken to the next Level - otherwise I'd suggest I'm given a House with Weed Supply and the rest is what follows along. I won't enjoy living in anyones household except I'm the Slave I am gonna be, hopefully, more than not, which is finally one other thing that has been on my tongue for some time - which - was maybe not on my tongue but in my forehead - so - its something that makes sense now. To the most part this is open - so - I'm expanding on it eventually. Peace!
Stardate 55290.56899