The Psycho Squid - a Deep Dive
Introduction:I figured that I have one of these things within me (see Remark D) and after I found an "opening" I tried to unravel the thing as best I could. Remarks A to C detail the important highlights of the removal. As for the close up detail, I want to first establish some terminology:
The Prisms (previously also called "Nodes") were my first intersection with this matter. After loosening the Needle from a Prism I found myself capable to first "untie the Knot" at its center, and from there follow it back to what I refer to as "the Seashell". After having done so a couple of time I felt a weight coming off my shoulder, tensions dissipating; And from there on the Seashell became the focus of my efforts. At first I didn't understand what to do. However I moved about with the needle; However much I thought I accomplished, at the end I was back to Square 1 - which is this little fucker here.
The ejection of the Squid requires one to first "open" the Squid. This probably happens because once the Squid is forced to a higher Level of consciousness, it's convoluted weavings through the heart exist on a different "sphere", creating a Layer of abstraction that allows the loosening of the "Heart Knot" to the point where the Squid can be ejected from "the Heart" itself. Probably by moving its entirety to a different sphere of the mind. Then, once pushing the Teeth into the Squidsack, it tries to escape further, at which point the Sack can be contained within a Plastic Box. This then inhibits the squid from sinking its teeth back into the heart, but the parts still stuck in You remain there. Whether or not physical distance does anything - I haven't yet been able to test.
A Psychic Link is however very much still there - and further work within needs to be done to loosen its effect.
At this point in my life I'm still half-way between somewhat "Superstitious" ideas of how this works. For instance: I pushed the needles together, trying to make them one, and that then "Opened" it. So, my brain at this point thought of it as a puzzle, and that's the solution. In hindsight I don't fully understand why it works, or if I maybe did something else - but that's very well how it worked for me.
After the Squidsack is removed, further investigation have led me to this. Most notable was the Attachment, which was to a point (rear left of my hip, above my butt-cheeck, whatever) that I have felt throughout the past few Years and it seemed like it was attached to a Prism. Or attaching itself to the Prism. Hard to tell. The separator between "Attachment" and "Grip" is a conscious choice because, quite frankly, I'm a bit clueless as to what is going on here.
After I was able to loosen some hook from the "inner seashell" (kind of subconscious, not sure how I found my way there), the whole looked as the Worm shown in FIG A. It doesn't seem to exist "as that". Focusing on the Attachment led me to "the Rotten Core" - deep within which I arrived at "the Arrowhead". One Knot I was able to loosen, the other seemed to be stuck. Suggesting that this is a subconscious manifestation where the Knot itself was not yet accessible. After loosening one Knot I was however able to invert the Arrowhead (as by a "change of heart" that would invert its flow) until what I was left with looked as shown in FIG C.
I believe it was the release of the "Main Latch" that then loosened the grip of the Arrowhead; And since then that weird feeling in "that Spot" has subsided significantly. FIG D is an attempt at making sense of what I'm looking at at this point. I call it "the Coil".
The Mechanism:
From what I gather, this thing is powered by subconscious reflexes that basically make up the spiritual/cognitive side of our Nervous System. It is a thing of itself - where the Squid is a) The Transmitter through which "the Coil" is woven into our mind, b) a Transmitter interacting with the "Psycho Web" that is essentially wired into the Coil and c) Technically and Virtually distinct from the Coil.
While the Squid is used to update or otherwise interact with the Coil, the Coil itself is a system of Psychic Tampering I had only thought possible in my faintest musings of the mind. Up unto this point I have already loosened a lot of its grip - thus feeling significantly better - but with what's left I'm still feeling extremely uneasy. There is a weird tension that comes with it and deep subconscious discomfrot when trying to pull it apart.
FIG D is further an attempt at making sense of how this thing holds its grip - as it also doesn't really seem like there's a beginning or an end to it. Only Mechanisms that seem to to have the answer burried deeper within.
The only clear end is marked by "Hooks" that connect with an "Open Channel"
These needles seem to pin the whole thing to the Nervous System, where its rejection of the applied energy provides the force that holds everything together. On that note I do feel itches, some of which come and go without an apparent cause and they seem to sit really really deep. FIG E is to highlight the experience of having to drive some of these hooks really deeply beyond my comfort zone, making sure that it fully enters past the Puncture such that it can then flow out through the channel.
How these Channels exist, I don't know - but that's the thing.
How this Energy is, what this energy is ... I don't have a clue and I try not to question it.
It seems to be important however, which direction the needles point - as I did encounter the one or the other weird hook that doesn't follow this simple "Pull and Let Go" logic.
Further looking at the coil also revlead that what I was able to "unroll" would then also roll itself back up again; Suggesting that it's similar to a cramp that holds certain energies in place, possibly creating some pressure or being itself pressure created by nervous responses, that is then also further coiled up to further inhibit the flow of energy.
Throughout my attempts of loosening the coil I found Needles that seemed to be lodged in through some even deeper mechanism - which may just be what I previously described. At some point I also found a channel that was basically just 'resting' ... stuck but without a needle - but it all doesn't quite come together in a way that I could confidently make sense of.
My bet however right now is that there's probably two opposed systems that channel pressure into the system from opposite ends; Where the coil at large prevents an easy escape in that the channels are squeezed tightly together. So, outside of just finding needles I could pull, I don't know what to do here. But yea, to keep looking.
FIG E.2 is to show the problem of misdirection that I encountered during the first stage (Leading the Ship to the Seashell), where at occasion I'd encounter a slight resistance along the projected path beyond which I there were two directions to follow. It would seem to me now that these "Clots" are product of the psyche having a hard time believing what's going on or some hyper tension, doubt, skepticism, euphoria - any such thing - creating a false idea as the perception shifts into the fantasy as opposed to seeing what's there. The ship would here need to be guided out the way it came - and the clot loosened up enough for the proper channel to become visible again.
I presume that this is in essence how all the rest works, but more sophisticated.
The Psychosis:
What I found was that there are certain Characters I personally know that my mind tries to mimic, while previously they would appear to exist outside; Like, being telepathic perceptions. Now those "blips" or "blars" as I called them basically echo my thoughts back at me - while overall I feel like being a lot more ... with myself. So I'm looking at this construct, (Ball/Dodecahedron thingy) which is mostly dark with bright ... kind of like magnetized Ferrofluid ... while the whole looks like a Doll's head with a lot of the hair pulled from it. It resonates with my assumption of having some aspects of my mind coiled together. So, at this point I suppose my mind is mostly functioning normally, but ... that's putting it very generously.
It's difficult to say how what is wired together, but I believe that there are different systems further separated through bends and possibly buffers. Loosening the grip more and more led to more and more of it to disperse and "breathe freely" again, with some things yet coiled up into their individual systems.
And it's weird how I get all these itches/pinches from apparent needles while writing this.
Oh Fuck. But I guess ... right now my nervous Conniptions are the more serious problem. Which is ... kind of a good thing I suppose.
Remark D:
It would seem that shortly prior to what I refer to as "the Event" (a Personal Matter) the Spirit did set things in motion by encouraging me to let "my Love" into my heart. By then I had already rejected her in as far as my personal alignment with the Squid "required it", and the representation of a small and ugly dog felt adequate for how I perceived her at the time.
The introduced conflict created tensions between my personal state of mind and my faith in God - thus sending me spiraling into "the Event" - another stepping stone along my way to improvement. While this collapse would or should have made me "hollow" (lost between expectations and reality), God did enough such that the next day I was in a good enough shape to focus on what was at hand rather than getting bullied by expectations.
Though I sought the problems to my state of being outside, I had to more and more contend with the internal Bullshit that weighed upon me. This eventually led me to hypothesize of the Calamity Device - then coming to a few realizations that mademe curious about the "Prisms" that I saw within me that I couldn't really deal with for some reason.
Up until then I had written all the Psychological effects up to "the Keys" (i.e. Mat 16:19, or: Mormon Priesthood) and an abuse thereof; And had therefore sought for solutions in that ballpark of things. And maybe that's how these things are made. Yet I do not know the first or the last things of them. All I have are theories that have, for the most part, not really led me anywhere. Thus I chose to ignore the matter until I would have another reason to explore it further. "It is what it is" - and I say that because in moments like this I feel weird tensions which I suppose come from people having a ridiculously explosive outburst of opposition to the matter. I may have to apologize for hypothesizing and formulating theories "in Public", but if You want to mistake my musings on the matter for Gospel then that's primarily a You Problem. I would think that people would ask me shit like: Why didn't You tell us Sooner? And apparently "I didn't know" is an answer that some wouldn't accept and others would continue to tie me a noose from it. So, why did I not know? Sure, at that point it's ridiculous to assume that they'd care - but how am I the crazy one then?
I keep telling that I don't have all the answers and how it is that I even know what I try to keep telling You - and sure I observe it with deep concerns that a simple matter as that could be so contentious.