A New Gospel | addendum

I'm currently contemplating to remove "the last part" from what I previously wrote.

Because something feels strange about it. Possibly because it's undone and does, in that sense, not fit the overall thing. But that is now why this exists. Or so, the first official supplemental writing which comes along with saying that my Word is after all still Gospel.

And however it aches me - I can't truly stick to one or the other, entirely. And that's what I meant when saying that I don't want You to take my word as though it came from God. I may be a God, but I'm also still human. I may be removed from You, to some extent, but I don't want to be cut out.

But, be it as it may ... I also have a duty. In this, my freedoms and my responsibilities come as intertwined. As I chose to do this, with my life, independently, no matter the cost (for as long as I could afford it) - this is entirely 'my freedom'.


I write this because I get this weird feeling, that people keep looking at me. "Are we doing this right?". And I want to tell You to be more confident, but it seems to be more like ... treating my word as gospel might be the issue. But no. In as far as my word is to procure unity, it couldn't do so if it were absent. And so You have this, here, as not merely a permission to do so, but a logical foundation for understanding why. But I certainly write too much for it all to matter. But, here's a nice way of putting it: If I ever were to give You a doctrine, I must have been out of my mind.

More to the point am I equally looking to You, asking You if I'm doing this right.
I didn't have the luxury of a school that might teach me these things.

So, between saying nothing at all or giving You my reasoning, yea ... I don't know. Sometimes. Both make me feel uncomfortable in some way. Either I feel like I'm talking "too much" (in the sense that things become vague) or that I'm not telling You enough. The latter is a problem for me, because what am I doing, if I then don't tell You anything? The line isn't always clear to me.

It is in my thinking however - where I ever so often left things open, assuming that "You'll figure it out" or "someone will know what this means". And whether this thinking is OK, that kind of depends on the circumstances. The common sense I try to procure, were it spread evenly accross a population, would cancel a lot of things out that I yet deemed necessary for the other reason. In due time, that common sense would grow; And thus more of what I wrote would be "canceled out".

On the other hand, my word should only weigh less compared to the words of those contained in the Bible, in that my testimony is of today - and not of a past I can't remember.

If You know better, You can explain why. And then I would stand corrected. People should see that. But the quality of a trustworthy source is certainly immense.


So, what am I gonna do? I'm already getting a feeling like I'm talking too much. Or like I don't know what I'm saying. And that may very well ... due to the "thing", that I here shall degrade to something that we don't really care about. It's a problem, a common burden. And here I should hope that the mere presence of my words can already mean refuge and comfort. And I shall try to lower the ladder as deep as I can.

Peace!