Preventing the Next Major Mistake

Politeness ... why is this term on my mind now?

As I ever so often start with a little story of how I got 'here' - this time we're like some stretch into ... let's call it a 'mind field' - where ... yesterday I was starting to write something else before getting too tired ... and since then the topic somewhat evolved. It's ... "one of those" ... runaway things that You might not know about just yet. It started with some video about near death experiences, then moved on to conversations (theatre in my head) about faith - then some uncomfortable tensions that would then prompt me to write about the cognitive dissonance I experience from ... the prospect of things going my way ... . Then the next day I felt too fatigued and out of shape to write and so while watching some videos I felt that tackling aspects of my negativity would be the better topic. Now I wanted to start and tackle it but between me walking around my appartment and coming to sit down here had a bit of a series of insights - such that politeness was ultimately the thing on my mind and it seemed like a reasonable way to get into this.

Except ... rethreading all those thoughts ... well. To me that feels a little bit ... arduous, to not call it torture. I mean ... I guess my mind sometimes just flatlines in a way ... in a way that might seem ... silly because by a lot of other accounts I don't have "such problems". But the devil's in the detail ... and so, some kinds of repitition just ... make me buckle and crumble.

It's like my brain tries to protect itself. It may be that my mind wa... uh ... hmm. Yea, something like the things I wrote previously, those long winded rants, there I come from a point of stress. It's like a coping mechanism or a verbalized footprint of my mental tensions. We might think of it as a way for the mind to heal itself. So I try to resolve the stress; Where now - that I'm somewhat chill and relaxed ... feel more like I don't want to harm that.


Then there's also the issue that some of those topics are just flat. We might say: pointless. There's an observation, maybe a note ... which then to me ... feels a little flat, shallow and ultimately irrelevant.
Maybe it's also that I subconsciously understand that there's a lot of places I could potentially reach from there - but either I'm missing context or the energy to produce it.

Which then led me to the insight that ... yea. I prefer it when I have some kind of a stretch to cover ... where that stretch would have a nice intersection with the topic or topics I want to discuss - some of them at least - and this way I can even tackle issues that my mind would otherwise reject.

Issues that might be utterly pointless ... theories, ideas without much to sustain them outside of some wild crazy hypothetical ... things of that nature.


Like so, I just wrapped all I had on mind at first into some segment of a sentence. The substance didn't lose it's quality; But what would have been a whole text is now not even a complete sentence. I mean, I could make it one.

Sorry at Moist Critical tho, for he would have had some reason to feel proud of himself. At least the version that popped up in my mind in that instance. But yea ... this is now one other way into a topic ... that's more or less related to the headline here.


But then again, sorry, if I feel like I'm way cooler with You than I actually am.
Which is also ... kind of the topic here.

So, mostly about me ... I guess.


Sort of. The main issue here would be my 'radar'. On that note ... I'm reminded of those glyphs that I produced which might allow folks to get a glimpse of how I see the world; Where sometimes I feel like I should cancel their functionality. But anyway. The thing is that ... overall I feel like I have a Bullshit detector of sorts. More than that even. Like, I kind of knew what was going on behind the scenes when it came to Star Wars. I still have no evidence that the Clone Wars show was like ... ground zero ... for that development; But it was all just in my mind ... next to all the "Jar Jar Bad" content that was floating around at the time ... though when Star Wars finally went to Disney ... that was the reveal to me that "Holy Shit! This is Real!". Sorry ... I try to curb my ... OK. Holy Shit is fine I suppose.

And so in that instance ... "I knew" a lot more, immediately, than the ordinary person might figure out in a lifetime of analyzing it. Like, right away 'Disney' was to me ... more of an Antichristian bastion than anything else. So, the place where they reeled it into. So yea, in that moment I became 'more' skeptical of Disney rather than ... warmed up to them. Well, I'd still go and see the Force Awakens ... and yea, sure - in that instance I'd expose myself to the criticism of being biased ... but ... but that don't help the movie now, does it?

It's ass. And having some ... like ... 'first hand' insight into the kind of stuff they produce ... that only confirmed some more of my biases.


Then ... this whole "New Generation" bullshit that was thrown around ... yea. I mean, it is one way of sugar coating the cultural divide that those movies created. The blatant disrespect unto the franchise. But it also kind of revealed one of their angles to me. So in that ... "Crazy Scientist from Independence Day" kind of way ... it was a good time.

But ... did it help? I mean, at some point I got something about "Project Satyr being ready to be launched" - and ... I had no way of figuring out what that might be. Now, that was before this "Media Takeover" happened, so ... I would assume that this might have been it. But other than that, it seems like ... they learned how to cover their tracks. Or it's just ... "too deep". Though on the other hand I may just recently have stumbled upon some "Power Core" of their whole Astral network ... LOL. "I am a Man! My Masculinity is impeccable". "I am an Angel of Death! Rape is my Mercy!" - yea, that one hit differently.

"Mwruawrua" - there is actual gibberish in there which might just be a vibes thing. Jee, I wondered what if something were to happen to it. Like ... incohesive Matrix techno babble that ... would kind of fill the same role as the average computer screen in a sci-fi/thriller/hacker movie. Atmosphere, vibes ..., that sort of thing.

But yea. By now their reactions feel a lot more real than their usual "acting defeated" nonsense. At least they seem to be nervous and slightly annoyed.


On other news: They seem to control most of economy now. Like, it's virtually theirs - although I suppose it also started to unravel the moment it came together. But yea, I suppose they're really good on damage control.

Something else: When I say "Orkish" - I mean ... there was that part in Twilight Princess that stuck with me, which is about Orks following the strongest one. I ... feel like I may just recently have won the crown. Not sure how that translates into reality.


But yea. A lot of this stuff is just weird. While I might have You on the matter of Star Wars ... the rest is ... uh ... weird. And ... I suppose I have to assure You that ... to me it isn't much different. You read these things and know neither left nor right of it - and I don't know if it's a thing or me just hallucinating.
So again ... I lack the stuff to substantiate those ... or certain aspects of it to a point of ... heightened certainty.


And somewhere in all of this is a ... divide. I mean, when I point to Disney ... I point to a real thing that is somehow ... part of something I suspect. But obviously there's the one wall where they would neither confirm nor deny, but act confused ... probably ... to say ... ultimately it remains a conspiracy theory.


Also: The way I stumbled upon that Power Core that I was watching some Video (something about that Mercy movie) and therein was a clip which exposed some ... we might say "Sycophantic Behavior" - and while looking at that constellation, it kind of ... came together. In that regard ... "Sycophant" is like ... a real job except they're more like 'potential seekers'. They're there to face the other direction, to look at things, find ways to exploit it and like "beam the idea to some central place". Kind of like critics, but strictly constructive.


And I guess ... and that's how we get to the point here ... a lot of what we find on YouTube is like ... that, but out in the open. And possibly just by virtue of social dynamics. So, on first glance, to me, it is just one giant shithole without any hope for redemption.

But then it may also, very well, just be a smoke-screen. A distraction. Like, as it exposes all the same patterns ... it's just noise ontop of the image. And with a bit of caution I have to say: I fell for it ... a few times. I mean, maybe it's more complicated - but, ... . I mean, Joe Rogan is one of those ... instances. He's the kind of guy where I immediately feel like ... 'nope'. But then I watched some stuff, then he had his friend Duncan on the show, he had a lot of good stuff to say ... and I kind of warmed up to the guy. So, him turning heel didn't surprise me per se ... but it still came as a bit of a shock.
"Afterward ..." ... well. I figured that I might see for who else is sus. And ... I don't know. Sometimes I look at someone ... and the impression is shifting. "It" ... the "sussness" ... there is more like a cloud that surrounds them. Then, when I look at out in the open conservative influencers, I don't see it. So, maybe it's just a symptom of ... hiding stuff.

Like ... there's this thing ... and I'm not sure if I'm alone on this. But some people have this ... I'd call it "burning skin syndrome". Their skin just looks ... weird to me. Not the color ... but there's like an odd shimmer to it. And there's black people who have it ... and there's white people who have it. And it always bothered me because ... it made me feel uncomfortable. I thought at first that maybe it has to do with homosexuality and STDs ... because it like "screams" AIDS. Some piss fetish was also on my mind because ... skin and ... it's not too too common ... . Blood maybe? Of the few that have it, some have it more, others less. Nothing however ... seemed to stick. Until I thought about ... well, the color of their skin. So, burning skin on white people would say that they're ashamed of being white - and on black people it means that they're ashamed of being black. Maybe not so much 'ashamed' - but more like ... something from a previous life.
Like yea - if one strongly identified with either one color to then find themselves on the other side ... that might cause that. And then I can look at myself ... and merely by ... getting internally inquisitve about it I might trigger a shame reaction and ... yea. That's my leading theory on that right now.
So ... I might throw around a few names ... but because of all of the theories ... I'm not sure if that's such a good idea. But the person that triggered it was Mark Wahlberg. I mean ... I didn't know that he was part of a Hip Hop group and seeing him in that context and seeing burning skin on him ... it kind of clicked.

Eminem doesn't have it.
Well ... politeness ...

As per the intended narrative ... the term was on the chopping block as some kind of barrier that is to be overcome. But then, what is one supposed to say here? "Of course it's color related". I mean, duh. I can trigger it ... so - there's nothing to be ashamed about ... but ... uhm, yea. So, so, well ... . Other people who have it, from the top of my head: Lance (is his name I think) from the Serfs - very strong, Trevor Noah has it - and ... with Neil deGrasse Tyson I'm not so sure. It's ... a blend. Is it just the pale skin? Or the sunburn? It doesn't seem consistent. It also seems like there's burning skin from not being black enough. Some random dude. And now that I think of it ... there's ... other things. And yea, ultimately there's more than just black and white.


It seems like there was no 'right way' here.

But well. We're not trying to throw people under the Bus ... until they insist. Then ... maybe.

Like ... I used to be really hot for getting onto the debate stage, but at this point I'm just ... I'm cured from those foolish ambitions.
I feel like I'm better off if I don't have to.


Anyway. So - with all that ... uhm, I had to think about other channels I used to watch that turned ... sour on me. Riddle is a big one. And a part of me always feels like I should've known it. But it's also disturbing in a way, where ... it's deeply irrational. At least on face value. And it doesn't seem like it's all Black and White. Neither would it all be static. But yea, that's where my Freudian Slips would come from. Subconsciously an attitude might form, it would come out as bias ... but then ... navigating my biases ... I'm not too too bad at it I think.

But then on aggregate ... . I mean, I suppose that in a way I come like ... from obscurity; While stepping into a minefield that's like ... prepared for me to step onto ... I'd assume ... and I wouldn't put it beyond them that the true culprits are at least one step removed from "the things themselves".
Maybe even so at the very top. I mean, for all I care ... Melania might be the true villain.

But yea, Trump running for president was, in a way, another Disney/Star Wars moment for me.
Something about ... #2 talking to the "new recruits" about having someone in mind to do "the job".
And those "new recruits" ... I suppose ... the next closest thing would be the Ninja Turtles. The newer Live Action movies. So, going by the vibes.


I mean, I have the theory that ... there might be a way to occupy multiple bodies - so, to me it's not necessarily a contradiction that there's two that fit the Bill, or more. But also ... I don't really care.


Anyway. It's weird to me because like so ... on the one hand I'm ... well, there's progress. I'm in a place - mentally. I see the world in a certain way. But I'm also like ... stuck with it. What am I going to say? "Donald Trump is the Antichrist"? And yea, You guys value rationality, empirical evidence and all of that good stuff ... and I'm there with You. Which is another reason why this topic is difficult for me. But so ... I'm simultaneously ahead as I am behind. To myself at least.
Beyond that ... the empirical basis I have isn't really ... all that large. I mean ... technically ... it's not even there until You "unlock" it. So, there we have to go a step further ... which is where the three points come in. That's my empirical foundation.
Or the tethers that lead to it.

And I ... I am utterly distressed by the feeling of someone actually getting there. Like, complete panic mode - screens flickering - where all of a sudden I'm like my own worse skeptic. All of a sudden I start asking: "How do You know that?". And then I start questioning my own faith - or just recently it was like coming from above like: "You're not going to lose Your faith NOW? Are You?". And all of a sudden my relationship with God is like ... super complicated again.

And yea. I suppose I made peace with Him again - in as far as that was necessary. It's ... complicated.
I mean, if You're under the impression that there's tensions or a problem, it's certainly warranted. I certainly was on the brink of what we might call "turning Hollow" - to lean into some Dark Souls terminology. It's like ... a turn of the heart that seeks some kind of satisfaction, like an answer, though tired of "esoteric nonsense" - thus being in a state of "whatever", mandating God to step in and do something - "if He can/will".

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HE kicked it off by ... acting all weird as I was laying down to sleep. HE mirrored back to me how I was to Him, though not so on the intellectual side (and with an acknowledgment that I'm not even wrong) - but emotionally. I suppose he was trying to tickle a statement out of me ... one buried deep in my heart/subconsciousness ... that then gave me pause. I was about to say that "You know that ... [You can always ...]" - but then noticed that actually ... I'm not sure if I did, and if I did ... that would have been long ago, enough at least to ... make this "weird". I'd suspect that HE knows, sure ... but like ... I don't. And so I had to fix it.
And that then told me ... that God is really ... really polite. Like ... more than one might think. And then ... at some moment of thinking about it this way ... just earlier ... the matter of Him not doing certain things got a little clearer to me. Like ... He, in a way, is as much subject to the rules of this world as we are. HE is God, so, the rules are a little different - and certainly they're self-imposed - but He's so, more like ... "just a ghost". An Entity floating around without any ... real power or influence. Give or take.

Like yea, on the one hand You can't cut Him from the Power He wields - where yea, on a fundamental Level ... all is HIM and HE is all. And so we're kind of back to Clarity. This time however not in terms of our individuality, but in terms of HIS influence. For once HE'd remove Himself from the equation to make space between You and I ... to allow us to be ... a social species. And any action of ours that is built on His influence ... are riffles on the water that already alter the course of how things "would go". And I think this is a good point to end this on.


Peace!

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Unrelated: My Otter Plushie has finally decided on a name. It's Laura Otterina von und zu Goldig-Otterburghausen.