Apologies (b)

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Here's an idea, and I'm actually ... personally convinced of it, that my skill issues - with video games - emerge from the fact that as I'm immersed in a video game and my 'true skill' is being activated, the mechanisms of a videogame are limited in comparison to real action. But I dare not say that out loud because ... I worry someone might challenge me on it.

To say, I have more than enough ego ... and cowardice I suppose ... to assume leadership. And I suppose it makes sense to expect that from me. But as David was ahead of his time ... and now, 3k years later I'm even more ahead than I was then - where arguably to some I was ahead of now, back then already, I'm still ahead of my time and ... to not get into any kinds of troubles like the ones I may have caused back then ... well, there's basically two options I have: I try to communicate where my mind is at, which includes the process of verbalizing my thoughts and thus honing them to a more concrete thing; Or ... I try to hold back and "give it to You". And smart people know ... I can try both.

Now, in some ways there isn't much of a getting ahead of perfection. Which isn't about me - but about Righteousness. Right and Wrong - for however times and circumstances might change - between us ... have a core that I presume to be immutable. And then ... some logical conclusions and cancelled out fallacies later ... we arrive at some sense of Democracy. And the most important part of it - I just realize - is to think of it as a management system rather than a form of government. I mean, technically 'Government' is just a fancy term for the "Logistics" of a ... uh ... people. It's simply the top level of where all the concerns of what needs to be managed ... come together.

And obviously, if that management is done by shady figures that nobody knows personally and that behind closed doors ... it's like a Mystery Surprise Blackbox. We can call it Democracy but it isn't. And I want to stress, in contrast to the opening statement here, that a lot of the terms we use SUCK. Not that they're wrong ... but they're "altered". Democracy at first is a concept ... and attempts have been made to either realize or obscure it in some way. Like so ... the electoral college is a way of saying: "Rule of the People, except ... we want to be selective about what people". We can either sympathize with the attempt and follow the tune of the spirit put forth, or we can see it as a naughty and heinous act of suppressing the common man once again.
So I would then assume that to a lot of people ... Democracy is synonymous with "The American Way" - and the other way around. And I've seen it in debates ... where at some point the argument explodes into semanticism ... people take out the dictionary and argue over definitions. And it creates this weird atmosphere in which it is seemingly impossible to say anything for sure. You may be 100% correct ... You may even know that You're 100% correct ... and still You're prone to looking around You ... wondering if You've gone mad.

Democracy is flawed ... for once if You don't give the people the information they need to make decisions on a matter. Well, haha, we're not even ... that good.
Except sometimes. Check yes to say no and check no to say yes.

Like ... here in Germany right now. What are the decisions we make? What's the political discourse about? Our great leader tells us that we're all too lazy and need to work more, while those pesky immigrants and unemployed people leech off of the accumulated wealth we have. This isn't ... a dataset to make decisions over, it's a narrative that drives a wedge through society. Meanwhile people look at the facts, come to different conclusions ... but well. Apparently we're alone with our facts.
They (the facts) don't care about Your feelings, but still, feelings are sometimes stronger. It would seem.

So, the question put forth isn't ... how we distribute our wealth, how we manage the economy and such ... else we'd be focusing on infrastructure. And how is it that some Fritzl from the opposition can just say "no" and the Government stops working? I mean ... FUCK the CDU/CSU.
I mean, I guess ... we effectively have a one party system surrounded by a clown show.
No disrespect but I hate to see it when sound words land on deaf ears.

There's no question being put forth - but a statement is issued that now has become policy - so, I guess that means I'm officially worthless. A worthless lazy piece of shit. And were it not for my family name ... an immigrant on top of that ... although I was born here.


Uhm ... what am I? Huh ... so, maybe I'm ... leaning too far out of the window here.
Or not. I mean, You ... should have an idea at this point about ... what my vision is. And whether it's naive or smart ... I mean, it's both. Every idea is naive at first ... and even stupid ideas can work sometimes. I mean ... governments ultimately don't have to 'work well' in order to maintain themselves. They just have to work well enough for the purposes of maintaining themselves.

Uhm ... break. Stop. Halt. I'm ... I'm being a dum dum right now. I thought I had a point, but I don't know what I'm trying to get at here.
Which is maybe the way to wrap this up. There's a lot of ... "high stakes" nonsense ... "tough decisions" and what not ... enough data and figures and nonsense to stir the confusion and send people into paralysis. What I've learned so far is that my whole idea sort of falls apart when taken too deep into the political sphere; Because there it would stand as a "political concept" or "form of government" which it, first of all, is not.

But, kind of like Smith ... I want 'Everything' ... to say, the old school idea of Church and Tradition (western) doesn't work for me. I don't see it as optional ... in the sense that I don't see why You would want any options. Like, what are we fighting over?


Ah, yea, there it is. I wanted to write something about secrecy. Just so ... for the record - regarding, my opinion on the matter. So, I was watching Annihilation recently, terrible movie by the way, beautiful shots however, and I say terrible because from beginning to end it's just ... one trigger moment after the other. Like, starting with: Why is this a secret? Moving on to: Why don't they just get out, share the information and come back again? To ... what's wrong with these Characters? To ... whatever the end is. Every person is just shady in one way or another, like, ... anyway. So, why is it a secret?
Why leave it up to a team of mentally unwell individuals to figure out what this potentially world-ending threat is?

So, they send a team of a bunch of women, proposedly scientists, into this thing ... and then just casually it's like "Oh yea she? She's an alcoholic!" ... yea. The right person for a high stakes operation like that! Naturally she then threatens to kill everyone because somehow the movie needs runtime ... and ... it's terrible.

And yea, it kind of makes sense to wrap stories about the supernatural or abnormal into this "top secret" envelope because we can imagine ... I mean, for something like Stargate it makes sense. It's supposed to play in the here and now and it's a thing and ... we don't know about it. Although, for something like 'A' Starget, IRL, it ... kind of doesn't. And the show kind of runs into that issue at some point ... because the story grows and more and more people need to be involved so that ultimately ... it's functionally not a secret and the issue of keeping it one ends up being this thing, like ... "it makes sense, I guess".

There are two aspects to this: The Government smelling some fine tech in there that they don't want other Governments/Entities to learn about - so, it's "a matter of national security" - although national security has practically fuck all to do with it; And the other is "we don't want the people to panic" - because ... to the mighty ... all that we are are a bunch of erratic morons that couldn't tell the difference between a cat and a dog if push came to shove.

So, there's the small and reasonable elite that has to protect the dumb and irrational rest from themselves ... and why it makes sense in Stargate, for me, is because it works as a "what if?" kind of story. What if secrets? What if Aliens? The show. In Annihilation it just makes the story more stupid.

And I like it very much that Stargate also goes there. It gives us moments where the Stargate is common knowledge; But yea. It's ... weird ... 'new ground' in a way. But that is ... from me ... speaking in reference to movies and TV shows. We'd be lucky, I guess, if the real life Government Secrets were ... something like that. But instead it looks more like ... drugging prostitues with LSD and running mind control experiments on the population. So, of course those would be secret.

What war and conflict do to a people? I mean, it's not even that. It's paranoia thicker than elephant skin.


And ... because there's not much of a point here ... and I've fallen into my rambling phase ... again, I'm sorry. But ... there's the thing with my knee and ... thus my reaching for straws here.

Now, between myself and any one government ... I might appear crazy to everyone that isn't a serious democrat/communist, but ... we're not asking them to give us the secrets. That's not ... the dynamics of the situation I'm envisioning for myself here. They might step in and feel like they're talked to; And by 'they' I probably mean the few that feel like they can leverage government authority to give me the NO ... but this is about us. Like, self-therapy.

Are we stupid? Are we unreasonable? I mean ... I want to say that if You're American You need to understand that the rest of the world looks at You like You're having a mental health issue. And the one to be blamed is probably Your government. So, take (the value of) your opinion with a grain of salt.
I'd say that it feels good to not be the bad guys anymore ... but uhm ... [looks at government] ... well.

"We're working on it" it seems.

Well, maybe we are ... but ... there's a variety of factors to look at. The one is that it's way too common that the governments do "controversial" nonsense; And in how far 'something is better than nothing' sums it all up pretty well, we tend to get lost in the nuance of an issue. And then there's shady news outlets ... and ... overall the basis from which we are supposed to act and think is flawed. They say that it's what we want for else we'd change it, but uhm ... yea. I guess we're working on it.
And it's like ... first the air in the room has to get cleared out.
The smoke has to settle.

I mean, in this issue there's the idea of a "top" that holds the information and a "bottom" that solicits it. And that might be a parasitic fantasm yet ... infesting the idea. And I feel that the vision I put forth is awesome ... but there's questions like this that ... make it feel like things get stuck. What do we want? How do we feel about it? And so, what would I do? Imagining ... I would have the time to sift through what's there to decide on whether to share it or keep it secret ... well, there's space for "what if" stories at least.
I'd ... probably do my own thing ... and sort things into ... categories. Like ... what reasons would there be ... to keep something a secret?

So, there'd be a pile for "OH, people definitely want to know THIS" ... and a pile for "Well, this is just technical nonsense so it should go there" ... and a pile for "Oh, this is interesting, I need to take a closer look and maybe write a piece about it" ... to say that the other pile is: "Well, I don't care right now, let other people sift through it".


But so, is it reasonable that there be aliens? I mean, if so, it ought to be some Stargate Level shit where every government is in on it ... with some worse case nightmare vision being that we're in some kind of cosmic prison, held hostage by the Antichrist while the Aliens have traced the divine prophecy to here and it's some kind of cosmic cold war.

Anyway ... sorry for the rambling. I'm out of juice for now.
Hmm ... "nip it in the but". How? What?

I mean ... this is the bane of my existence ... right there. I mean, obviously it might be reckless if You could like ... google the blueprints for a Nuke. Or in as far as we'd need Servers ... whatever protection we'd have to protect our shit. And at the end of the day it's virtually impossible to ... have a strict "no secrets" policy in the sense that ... if we had secrets, we wouldn't tell You. That's ... the whole thing.
But at some point we also have to take some risks. And especially these days. I mean, we are forced to take risks - but ... all options are just bad. Playing it safe is a risk in its own right. And so, before thinking about how we might protect critical secrets from an alien incursion like we're in a Star Trek episode - we should think about how we create an open and well regulated society.

And ... yea. There's ... . It seems so close, but so ... fragile yet. My vision that is, or Your take on it.
Like, what I wrote yesterday about every issue being represented. I would want all of You to be more enthusiastic ... and perhaps most importantly: More naive ... about these things. There's no ... secret rules. Like, there's no reason to not have the thing we want ... and if there is, we'd want to know it so we can understand.

And we don't need anyone else's word for it. It's our own thing.

I mean, in this context it feels like 'they' can fish for doubt. We want 'secrets', 'they won't give them to us' ... and now ... I have to do the explaining? To them? Why they should? Or encourage You further to want them? But then?

The issue aren't the secrets. The issue is the context in which the secrets are traded and the motivations that hold them. We can call it a "thing of the world". Like, usually secrets are there to maintain some advantage or position ... or perhaps to create inequality.