Is this the end? !!!

Uhm, no.

But first, Terraria


So ... I have to apologize for my behavior I think. But I guess ... I kind of don't. And what I always think I have to apologize for - sometimes this, sometimes that, it's often because I get an insight that ... like here. "Is this the end?". There are a variety of thoughts in there - but don't feel like writing; When I get around to it. It's a bad attitude it seems. And that now ... cuts me, or into me - like ... against my grain.
To say ... thinking "let's make this not about "those things"" quasi "lifts the curse" - and so learn or see: "aha, attitude problem" - where in hindsight I feel like ... all I've done is "attitude problem" - so ... I feel sorry.


Anyway. The problem has kind of solved itself. I mean, so ... I went into the jungle, gathering some Life fruit ... exploring the jungle - and then I just took my old Chlorophyte Armor ... because why not? I suppose ... that's where I stepped in and took "dilly dally" privileges to imply that ... the world has progressed and I got it all farmed up. So, I could take down Plantera, and skip the dungeon by just taking ... uhm ... no. I got in, tried to farm for a Spectre staff, got all the Paladin stuff, looked in the whole dungeon for the Crimson chest to find it basically sitting by the entrance.
Then I went to Golem, did Golem with Vampire Knives ... and then.

Well, I took on Cultist because I want stuff from the Nebula Pillar ... and that fight was just cursed. Anyway - also, with a Terra Blade ... I went on into the Dungeon to farm for a Spectre staff. And basically it dropped the moment I decided not to use the one I had until I got a drop. I mean ... as for excuses ... . I don't know. But it literally happened ... in that moment. Or the one thereafter. I was thinking it, while shooting at the dude that then dropped it.
Oh, which reminds me: The Crimson Key. It didn't drop in the Shithole. I was on my way down there when some Wraith came floating along - and it looked like it wanted something from me, so I took it down. And there it was.

But for all I care ...


But here the story also kind of ends. I mean ... it went all fine until I was done with Plantera.

I mean, getting enough Chlorophyte is no challenge. What am I going to do? Wait ... ? And then fight her again?
With the dungeon ... I thought that I can have the Staff as soon as I get access, because ... I don't feel like grinding it out. However ... at some point I noticed that ... the ones I needed wouldn't spawn. So, that made me rethink and ... uhm.

So, in essence - nothing is wrong. Maybe I have to grind for a Broken Hero Sword without the Staff ... but uhm ... yea. What else am I going to do with all that time?

The cultist fight is just cursed. Like, Statues coming to life at the worse moments, then a Wyvern shows up and the Cultist summons the silly dragon thing ... always something. And skill issues. Apparently. A lot of them.


And so I feel ... the dream coming apart. Like, not much is left from what I ... would want here - outside of just building.

And the whole time ...

I feel like ... there's something else I should write about. But ... whether I stop then and there or wait it out ... I can't find the meaning or the words. Well, until now ... or yesterday ... I suppose.

Maybe.

Like, I'm terribly ... shy. Or ... how to put it. I'm ... afraid of what's coming. My Clarity. The whole issue. I don't know ... . Like, so ... a while ago ... there's this Blar asking me this question ... being kind of way too horny. Something about Incest and Pedophilia. And ... I don't know. I mean, on the one had ... there's me and how I personally feel about it. But ... that feeling is different to that ... although ... yea. I mean ...

Like, I get feelings. It starts simple, but then the imagination turns into Sex and I get this feeling ... a bristling warmth ... and it's like ... too good to be true. The feeling may be different yet again, but overall the energy is supposedly the same. I mean, while I right now am playing and with my concerns basically everywhere but on this matter ... I'm contempt with myself ... in a weird way. And getting dragged into a Sex prison is kind of ... not the outlook I'm hoping or gunning for.

And that may actually be it. Hope. Outlook. Aspirations. And I would not ... want these things to be taken from me. And ... weird. I mean, had I come into this topic from the other side ... all frigid and defensive ... I probably would have also gotten this the other way around. Being on the other side, coming to terms with whether or not I might want the thing.


And that may be more so at the heart of the issue here. We come from different places ... with different ideas of what's normal ... or to be expected from the people around.
It's like ... how cow farts are driving global warming. Not to speak of the scale and relevance of it - but, a fart alone isn't a problem. But enough of them and we're talking chemistry and physics and what have you.
The perverts that are, are being that in the shadow. But what if it came to light? Naturally ... things would change somehow.

And is it ... acceptable?
I mean ... my opinion ... these are good times to ... be open minded. It may be ... asked too much at some point ... and ... I don't know what to expect. I guess ... the most important thing is that we find unity and stability ... so, for as long as we don't jeaopardize that ... we should be fine.

But again ... I don't neccessarily understand the question.


But I suppose I don't neccessarily understand ... hmm.
Well ... what answers I've given already. If You could call them that. I mean, if anything - I'm having a lot of questions myself.


[pot]


OK ... I think I got something. So, there's this feeling - "when light-headedness (stupidity/foolheartedness?) gives way to the heart and the nutsack is driving" - that might be generally associated to "tabooless" sex; Which, yea. I suppose ... we don't really do tabooless. Not in that vein.

I mean ... the question: "can I rape my daughter?" ... if I have to be honest, I do and don't like how I'm in two minds about it. I mean, there are certain things I jump up against as on face value - and I don't care how little or much I maybe might be into it. And maybe there's personal issues and biases, but it shouldn't matter. Until it does. What's right? What's wrong?

And the thing is ... this shouldn't difficult.

Until it isn't. Well. I mean, going by my book - the answer is a complete YES - but going by my book, You can't take that answer as such either. At the very least would there be a difference between kids that are alraedy 'mature' - and kids that aren't. And 'maturity' - in that sense - ... hmm. Wait. Let me not miss this. What I mean by mature ... isn't like "mature" ... like, early puberty and such. But kind of maybe. I'm speaking of the mind, of course ... and maturity here is also a matter of what life has in store for that person. Someone can be 'mature' - but not within that specific set of circumstances.

And just saying: "It's cultural" doesn't work because we don't have the numbers. We can't just assume that it'll all work out ... so, there's always a chance that people grow up in stranger places.
But so we'd be wanting for cues ... signs, signals. Ways to say what a person is like, for us to take care of ... well. What would we want? Maybe the prospect of getting reborn into this place isn't ... a good one. So, maybe all of that is nonsense, for the most part. But still. Some people still would or might; And ... I guess it'd be nice to have early boosters down the right path.

Be it this way or that way.
And so maybe that feeling ... . Well. How would one go about it then?

Or where might one turn?


Well, I guess in the center of it ... it should be consensual and to that end there ought to be testimony thereof. Which may sound weird or beaurocratic, but ultimately ... that's what a wedding is all about. And yea ... weddings. It's a bit of a theme ... where, in one sense we're all His brides. There is something deeply intimate about us ... being alive in Him and how we ... as individuals but most importantly - I think - as a whole relate to him.
So - speaking of it as this sacred vow ... well. That to my view is a little narrow.

But sure. Certain relationships ... hmm. Yea, I guess ... to let the nutsack drive, might work after all. I mean ... it's ... like, a conflict between the three. And either of them might have an idea of the situation that is entirely incompatible with the other two. But so, for the "nutsack" ... the question of whether one can rape their daughter ... would warrant the counter question: But what good would it be, if You'd have to do so in secret?
Wait what? In public? No! But here the brain is then like ... "nah" - but to let the nutsack speak ... it wants to say: "This is my daughter and she's my sex-slave".

I mean, that's where I would want to be. Except ... I'm the daughter.

And yea. In the beginning ... there's the issue of consent; And thereafter is the issue of ... agreement. And that's also how I see slavery ultimately working out. Or ... whatever we end up calling it. I mean, I want to commit - but I don't want the cost of it to be too high. So, it's like council's therapy, I guess, except ... more pre-emptive. Like, after some time or events have passed ... check again. Rethink, refigure, ... until it's done.