Crystals - the Future of Gaming

I hate to see the Youth/Kids of today ... "versauern" ("wither away") ... with these silly excuses for games and such. I'm not talking about Fortnite because I haven't played it. But what I've seen certainly looks impressive. From ... the player performance perspective. I mean, shooting and building at the same time ... that's ... quite something.

And if I'm talking about Minecraft in this context, I think of it as the underdog. Of how kids in school would laugh at You for playing it. It kind of reminds me of - or maybe I'm drawing from there - how as I got older, "Nintendo" became synonymous with "Kid's console". But it wasn't like Playstation had the crown. There was also Sega and PC. And as said before, I never really went with the "cool". But ... I'm sure I enjoyed my fair share of "shit". I mean, it is what it is. You don't recognize the difference until ... "it's too late". Or something.
But the first rule of cool is that You can only truly be cool by being Yourself. It seems like a contradiction, because "cool" would be this very specific thing, this set of things, that one is to achieve. But then again, people speak of having a "cool grandma" for instance - and I'm not sure if any grandma really checks any of those "cool" boxes.

It's a different cool, You'd say. And sure - it is also THE kind of cool that prevents You from being an asshat.


I'm sure that people like me are appreciated plenty ... we're like good luck charms. And sure, I'm halfway talking from my butt here. I've been thinking, and maybe I should give it a try and lift off more purposefully. But I suppose there goes my few cents of self-esteem for the day.


I'm also done watching Blacklist. Nice ending. I mean ... poetic.

Priesthood

Shouldn't I first ... finish the topic?
Oh my. What do I do? How do I behave? What am I doing?

See ... I got this jumbly mess up in my head. It's like ... all coming apart. Everything threwn about ... like stacked crates in a ship's vault violently bobbing hither and tither. Maybe it's ... more like apples, falling from a tree.

I don't have the mental fortitute to more consciously select - my concerns. It's my nature, I suppose. Like socially I prefer to lean back and take things in. I'm passive, an introvert. I then concern myself with what's available. And I don't know. I feel like I'm arguing with someone - where, in real life, I'd be way beyond the point of having gone through the roof.

And yea, sure - I'd be looking for something sharp maybe ... being frustrated because "society can't fix this" ... and I have no leverage in the situation.


Which is why I would eventually just walk away. Like, it's inevitable. There's an obstacle that - will just stay there and I'm not able to clear it. But any one of those days ... . So, it's inevitable ... to me, in that regard.

Like now ... where am I going to go? I'm backed into a corner ... it seems.

By all accounts ... it's round around now that I would ... find some way. Some thing. Keep it going. While, sure, others help me deal with the beaurocracy and stuff ... of getting my act together. Well, the part ... that "society expects". Or the system ... .
And yea, Crystals seems fair. But oh, wait ... I can't. But ... why can't I? Wasn't it more just ... like ... a technicality or technical glitch and now I ... have more time and space to reconsider?


So, what is it that I'm ... doing? Or "supposed" to be doing? I mean, let's start with that. Because ... this "supposed" thing, from what I can tell and also really just simple logic actually, is "less than" what Crystals is right now. It's "less than" because it fits into the simple imagination ... of a person who would not know any better.

I mean ... isn't Crystals already a thing ... that's is ... by itself ... already ... right where it needs to be to inspire the next generation of work to be done with it. And if it's not ... then I guess I failed. My vision is faulty, I'm seeing ghosts or whatever.
Then some say that this is actually ... scary. I shouldn't have completed it to where it is now, but maybe that's just my brain being too full of movies and drugs.

It was anyway my feeling while going through the code. Stranger hands, stranger ideas ... bubbling up in place where I should have focus and understanding. The cost of publicity?
And yea, what can I say? I agree that this is ... the next step. We get together and make it solid. Iron out the Kinks. And all that. Where, yea, I guess ... whether or not You need me is ... neither here nor there when we also need like experienced, professional software engineers.

But that's the part. Take one or two ... and a team .. and what can I do now? Whatever it is, it's beyond me - and if You think that I can tinker something together to outclass whatever "they" might do, well "that's sweet" I guess.


And it's happening. What I saw coming, why I wouldn't do it. But now that it's happening ... there's maybe a way to ... work with it. That would be the hope. Like, timing is of the essence. But now ... I'm at the point where all the timings have timed out ... and ... I don't know ... did it work? Did it land?

I mean - I can tell myself that ... calling it here was a choice. And sure it was. But in a way that's also, maybe, just too scared to admit that I'm ... unable. Maybe I said it - but anyway I came to ignore it - but so, maybe I can't ... . I mean, I still have work cut out for me that I'm sure I 'can' do ... but not in my current state.


And sure, I don't even have a reason ... other than that it's something I might do with my time ... now ... that ... once again ... I'm at this point. And the next time around will probably be no different. Too little, too late. Not what was asked for. Just this tiny piece missing. I might race towards the finish line - and then stop right in front of it to wait for everyone else.
So, yea ... then ... what's the deal? What's the issue? What's the FUCKING PROBLEM?


When I play their game and play into their narrative - so the simplest note of caution - I'd be stepping into a situation they controlled for - and I'd be naive to assume that they haven't played this one out to the n'th degree.

At the end of the day it's simple. They'd pull a trick on YOU, to end up in a position of power and dominance that YOU certainly won't challenge and then ... here we are. Yet again. And someone in the audience will say "but he's right tho". Yea, fuck you too!


And that's the problem. YOU aren't challenging it. Nobody is. I'm the only one - and thus You look for me to ... "go there and do something". Let's give it a name. "The Golden Circle". The ... Platform for the prophet, where they are to appear and ... collect their recognition. Like, a King ... like the Pharaoh ... would have court. But I'm not seeing such hospitalities. Instead I'm like ... looking at a group of rich pricks placing bets ... or talking shit ... about how this is going to go down.

It starts right there. Nothing is given. So yea ... tell me what You will, that's a fact.


You think You challenge God maybe, that it's right to test ... God. Hmm ... . To put Your hands on the scale and see ... when something gives and how. Then You keep doing it ... and more people will see it. So on and so forth ... and ... now I'm me - and people see You do the kinds of things You do.
Then all of a sudden I'm strong and mighty - like, I can take it ... which makes it fair somehow ... I guess?


Or am I wrong here?

And all this time You deprive the people of ... the truth. Reality. The way out. Because ... You feel entitled to torture and torment me for ... some deeper philosophical rich man's brain fart.


Well, I played my hand - You can only bitch and whine about it - so I won. Once again, play fanfare ... like ... You're only upset that it happened so fast You couldn't even bitch and blink in time.

Now You want a rematch. Well ... how's that supposed to work? Shuffle up and play?

The problem would be that people with power ... they kind of don't seem willing to give it up. And that's a problem. A fundamental, intrinsic problem of the power structure within a society. And sure ... You can say something about ... natural balance ... . So, we have to pay the price, still, if two rich fucks mean to have a dick measuring contest; And ... in their world that's perfectly reasonable.

Whether or not it is ... would depend on the contest - I suppose. I mean, I understand this shit enough to understand that things move back and forth, things go up and down ... so and so ... but why do I have the feeling that a lot of the time ... . Like ... drugs. Cannabis Legalization in Germany is like ... tailor made for the black market around it to still have a leg in the business. It's a joke. Just looking at it is like ... You have to be fucking kidding me. And then those fucks in Bavaria ... Jesus. Catholics!

It's further made like ... You can't just socialize. I mean, if You're growing Yourself that's fine - and if You have the right circle of friends for that to work out ... that's fine ... but like, what's the point of then having a club where You can't meet and hang with people?

But yea. Power. So ... we would hope to appease the mighty and have them rule in our favor. Because it being what it is ... so and so. But they won't. I mean, have we tried enough? Like, how much do we give? Because, if it's clear that there's like ... a conflict of interests ... and so, the tree is rotten ... it has to be chopped down, no?


Anyway. This golden circle ... I'm talking about it. Like, people are pointing at it like ... we're all looking at it, so, why don't I just step in? Well, maybe I can't. I mean, really ... I don't know what it is or where to find it.
And maybe at this point I can't even look through my code without ... my brain aching. Yesterday I tried to sleep and there was a cute little dog ... brought to life in my mind ... and ... being worried about it's well being in any way ... already made me feel the wear and tear of my system.

Like, apparently there are no words to describe just how done I am. Well ... in a game of Magic the Gathering ... I'm just left with ... well, not much. I draw for turn ... I play a land, I tap for mana, put "Crystalline Entity" on the field ... it's a 1/1 with double strike, deathtouch and ward 7 - let's say.

And I end my turn.

In other words?

A coup! Is that? I mean ... I suppose it is. It comes down to that. I'm not concerned about some Joe Shmo that doesn't get it. And to call it a 'coup' - the thing we're after - makes it all more comprehensive. The one part is ... well ... as shit-luck would have it, the way of all things. So, if You feel like stepping through these gates, it's a "welcome to the club" ... of ... "once a bitch, always a bitch". Like ... "ist der Ruf erst ruiniert, lebt es sich ganz ungeniert", You are what people say You are. We're terrorists or whatever. A cult - if not terrorists. And we want all sorts of heinous things. Degenerates. "Rejects of Society" perhaps - even.

So, welcome to the Cult of Ashera ... the Children of Dawn.


To give the whole a military framework is inevitable. As per the 7 pillars, it's part of the balance. It simply emerges as people take lead ... and organize. But to say that we're planning a coup ... gives it meaning and purpose. It's not to stage a military take-over, although ... once we do take-over, our military would also be ... THE military.

And that's the goal. That's what THEY are afraid of anyway, so ... they do what they can to stop it. Now, there is a fine line ... some say ... but who crossed it first? And how far down the river are we, in terms of crossings? If I can't even establish an existence ... we might say that we're pretty far down.

And that's before ... actually ... . I mean, the 7 pillars ... Military is right there and the vision is a Utopia that ... most importantly ... has a fundamentally "re-envisioned" power structure. So, one only is to count to two or four to see where that ends ... if You're ... holding power and unwilling to give it up.

It's like, You either let go willingly - or You don't. If You don't ... You might ... just get away with it. I mean, I suppose to never let go of power is one of their mantras.
Which is like ... wherein the impass would be situated.


I mean, and compromise is certainly possible. Like ... for the competent to rise ... all we need is a measure of competence. If the power vacuum is filled properly ... and everyone does their best ... who cares about the individual past? If so the rulers do as they're supposed to ... then ... that's good! And ... what would that be? I mean ... I suppose I can here speak of myself to a symbolical capacity. I'm not merely me, in this scenario, but the effective culmination of the gospel and its focus at this point. So, whatever comes from it is to come through You and Your cooperation ... with me, with God and with one another. Me being a part of it ... You can't take that from me!

But it's a start. If You cut me out and take the lead ... pretending like You know what's right while needing me to tell You the way ... without actually telling me what we got and where we are ... I don't know. Something's off here!

I mean, You preclude Yourself from being cooperated with ... and at long last, ... if You insist hard enough that'll earn You the guilloutine ... I suppose.
I mean, You call it inevitable ... so, I assume it must be. Is that ... what we're talking about?

I mean, I thought about it and a good old decapitation is ... it's a classic.


Because ... yea. If we want to do a coup, we have to be willing to go all the way. We would start by checking ... well, the big idea is, I suppose, to declare independence. With enough numbers we'd just overwhelm everything ... like, a Berlin Wall moment ... or the Green Party entering the Bundestag ... so, if we have independence and the rest is just a formality ... I mean ... do we need to concern ourselves with the trash?


Still?

Sigh ...

Part of the issue is that ... to put it bluntly ... I don't feel like ... a feeling of despair is helpful ... towards "finishing it". Where, again ... the goalpost is moved and I will stress that it is so. It is "finished" ... . What else I want to do ... with it, that's neither here nor there and You're not entitled in it. And if You want to be telling me that I must, like, it's the only way out - how is that not slavery? Like, whatever function ought to reward me at the end of it ... hasn't revealed itself to me yet - and 'faith' ... is a tall ask here. Like, what reason do I have to have faith in ... what am I to have faith in?

So is there this golden circle. I must assume that it's just in my head, staffed with Characters only giving me shit. One way or another ... it's up to You to break it. That's the final step. If I go out there and try to talk to people and they just turn away ... I did what I could but You still won't do it.

And yea - I'm looking at "You", now, because I'm ... like ... I don't know where else to look. It's like ... a reflex. Survival. Protection. I'm telling You I 'won't' - not to say that I can't. Because ... "where there's a will there is a way". I'm ... chosing to protect myself. And I'm not asking You to fund me either. This isn't about THAT. There is no BUSINESS here.

And whatever Dollars You might be wiggling around ... keep em. I don't want them.


If that's what You do with Your doe ... way to make my point. Here's another one: If 10 people with the wealth to do so were to sponsor my life ... we'd already have more than I alone could fill - meaning ... already we have capacity for growth. And if that's so hard to understand ... I yet again ... am at a loss as to whom I'm ... supposed to convince of what.


And I'm protecting myself. At first ... based on what might be foresight. A bit of experience, a stroke of understanding and then a good pouring of hunches. Like, I can filter out what's ... what by looking at what options I have - and what I'd have to do, what I'd need, to get there. And as I come to what I do in the now ... I've got gears turning in me that ... then take me one way or the other. It's not always clear - and so I get to try this and that - and so over time I came to relax about them.
It is what it is. And ... I did try. After my last update ... I went on ... for a few weeks ... trying. And it's technically none of Your business, I suppose, how well or badly it went. From what I could tell ... I was able to cover a lot of ground "outside" of ... well, something that God apparently didn't want to allow me just yet. And I'm not arguing with that.

And back then, I was pretty much one-minded about it. "Do or die". Failure wasn't an option. But I understood, also, that what I was working on was essentially a Bonus round. And I was in two minds about it, because ... some things suggested to me that I shouldn't be leaning into this. So, I guess I worked enough to have myself in a good spot - for when I might continue ... rather than to, as some might say, just smash it to bits and abandon it.
But that's what You're doing.

That's the other side of the story. Emotionally ... me, there, alone ... with pressure mounting while also seeing my own influence slip away. Now I had to wrestle for my own thing? However the details, "at crunch point", someone just came in, destroyed whatever I built (like, imagine ... a lego build) ... while the competition is getting extra boxes of pieces.
The fancy stuff ... with electronics and shit.

And it is at this point ... where I'm still like ... hung up on. Sour maybe. Like, to even make it the end all be all. It's ... weren't You just curious about it is, so You could at least tell ... where it's going? Whether it's this or that? Substantive or just talk? Well ... so ... what is it? If it's a fail ... well ... good to know, now I can finally stop acting like I know how to code and we can move on with more pressing matters.

If it's not ... then cool ... what now? Where do I sign? When do I get the money?


Oh, yea ... it's not that simple because ... the amount of resources to truly scoop out its potential is ... uhm ... yea. I suppose ... it's up to the imagination.

Which is how we're back at a coup. Like, we're seeing this play out ... the power structures trying to act like what they do is in our best interest without actually doing anything - maybe even at all - because "hands are tied". How are they tied? Is it the Law? I mean ... I say, let me speak and then we rewrite the law as we need it. I mean, to ease Your mind ... I will then also be present and able to weigh in on what is and isn't ... a good rule to have.

But that's ... kind of the thing. The very first instance of power and control. That's what we're wrestling about.

Call it ... "the pearl of power". If they set the stage for me - and the stage is set that You agree with me being at their mercy ... then there's a problem. Like, faulty power structures ARE the problem ... and the question for who is to say ... which book we're playing by ... usually comes back to me. Because ... I have the ... thing. The ... You know ... the "badge" and everything.
And by virtue of how people behave in face of me ... well. There's the ordinary excuses. And with them, they buy themselves some time to in the end say that they've done nothing wrong. And yea, smart play I guess.

So, let's say they're Hexproof and they don't choose to defend with them.
It's ... really what You have to do sometimes.

Well, my go-to strategy is to cycle God-Eternal Oketra while ... what's the card ... when a creature enters the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on every creature - to get more and more minions. Meanwhile Liliana can create zombie tokens - and some cards allow me to sacrifice them for card draw, which with Liliana's ability gets me two. And if I then also have a Wizard class card on the table ... that's what I call a sweet sweet victory.

And the fun part is, with Eternal Skylord or what's his name ... the Zombies can Fly.

It's really slow and punishing to build up to that state ... and to anyone prepared for it ... an easy can to open I suppose.
I mean, Lazotep Plating is an awesome card ... that is in and of itself a can-opener of sorts, ... but uh, what was I talking about? Anyway ... it's a great defensive option and ... it has come in clutch for me a lot of times.


Well, there is a singular card that can end all this. Vorinclex or something. I hate it.


And back we are ... talking about targetted removal options.

Like Oprah. I mean, get me on a talk show and frame me as the villain? Could I defend it?

It should depend ... on like, what time I'm given to explain what. I mean, if we talk an hour about nothing and hand-wave everything away that I care to talk about ... then I suppose I'm shit out of luck.

And I get it ... that that's what I'm like "supposed to" get ... because they insist to be respected and all, but ... I'm the one that is to be respected here. I mean, at least ... at the long end of the road ... that's it. What have I accomplished? Well, it depends on what You're looking for, doesn't it?

I mean - people "debunk" or "declaim" the Gnostic Dilemma and ... [sigh] ... well, off they go. Like they got something. Where then, obviously they don't do the thing ... because ... if they did the thing, they'd eventually come around to it. They act like they're above us, but the moment we ignore them, they're whiny little bitches throwing a tamper tantrum over the recognition and acknowledgment they so desire.

But for what?
For nothing but their insistence on it.

It's ... the pearl. Who gets to say ... what's up. I suppose there's only two major modes here. Offense and Defense. Defense is bitching and moaning for attention, because that's how You then get into the Offense. And when in the offense, You latch onto and grab/reach for whatever You can to maintain it and build momentum. Momentum to take the dominant spot. And sure, with all due respect, "non violently". And You - ... to beat them ... You have to ... take it from them. Their victory. Which is to keep You away from me. Or You away from each other. Away ... from doing anything that might further down the road ... be their undoing.

And so, which hands do You trust to guide this carriage - the "true and reasonable ALTERNATIVE to the golden PISS circle" - to its destination? Have You ever endeavoured to insist ... that yea, maybe ... 9 and 9 goes together? To ... check, whether or not ... they want what You want?

I mean, it's a simple check. Are you feeling ashamed ... for bringing it up? Do You keep it to yourself, because ... "it's silly" - like ... it's "debunked", "unneccessary", like ... it only leads to violence and division.

But what am I doing then? I'm just Joe Shmo then? And we return to ... business as usual ... ? Because ... that's what the Prophet would want, if they had all their marbles still together, right?


No, but yes? I mean ... it serves You well to use my name - when it's ... just that. I mean, hot? Cold? To be treated like this while still alive would certainly be like ... quite something, not sure what to call it? A Badge of Honor?

But sure. In a fight You have to be careful. One mistake is to be too defensive. In Street Fighter at least ... so, where the two players are on equal-ish odds as there's a health-bar to deplete within a given time-frame. So, if I hit You even just once - while all You do is defend - by the end of the time I'll take the win. The more You defend, the more You also become a "problem" for me, like ... a trick-box. And the more I beat in on You, the more I learn Your game - and eventually I might have adapted enough to crack You open.
And the most difficult part to climb rank in Street Fighter, I think, is to find the right balance between the two. Because the alternative is to just "Unga Bunga" as they call it. I mean, Unga Bunga more specifically involves a lot of jumping around - I suppose - but here the game is the same. If You're too reckless in Your offense You're getting predictable - and I don't know. I can see that Drive Impact coming from a Mile away and still miss reacting to it.

I mean, I've been practicing and it's difficult to flip those switches.

To start whittling down the opponent, does however begin somewhere. And while it's a game, it's literally that. Fun and Games. In reality the principles fall a little differently due to the weight ... of loss, or so: The cost of the experience.

I mean, Real Life isn't Dark Souls. There's no Fog Gates that we can step through ... to try and try again.


Hmm ... why am I ... thinking about Magic the Gathering now? I mean ... my fantasy takes off into a future that might be; And WOTC might chose to let me construct a few decks ... to release a premium product based on those cards ... and sell them for cheap. Like ... standard. So, a lot of people would buy the whole line-up, even if they don't play. There would be a lot in circulation ... and ... yet, in years to come, those decks would be ... treasured past. The thing ... that people seek. It's ... basically right there. It always was. Straight from the beginning. But then the fantasy, the illusion of quality - let's call it 'decadence' - eventually takes over ... and the carts are put before the horses.


I mean, full disclosure ... I did buy a few Secret Lairs. Two I think. I have Lara Croft and some ... fancy spell set.
So, I do have a collection ... and I spent a lot of money on it. Relatively. I don't think I break 1k ... certainly not. But ... 500 ish?
Euros.
On purchase.
But if the game is to have a future ... this ... doesn't seem to be it. Especially not with the kind of schedule they expect us to keep up with --- allthewhile ... well. I'm not in the loop anymore. But from the looks of it ... it seems like ... creative bankruptcy.


Or it's the pressures of the market, call it what You will. I just ... figured ... that, yea - I mean, Capitalism sucks. And I don't care about the market. And if it crashes it crashes. Like ... "good"! FINALLY!
Finally we may look past the money and see each other for what we are again. HUMAN.

Anyway ... Peace out - I think You get the idea.