Diggy Diggy Hole

Terraria ... is a strange ... "new" game for me. I've been quasi rediscovering it - and along the lines I have written some things that I ... I'm not really sure. Well, Modern entertainment is weird ... but as always there are like ... two opposing forces. I would assume and based on that I find certain assumptions relatively safe.

Now, right off the bat ... there's a BUNCH of stuff that I've written over the course of time that I see apply ... here and there ... to this or that issue that's been popping up in my mind ... and that's my basline. If I have written about something at some point ... I'll leave it at that unless I have something to add. And that's ... well ... let's call it suboptimal on quite a few levels.
Especially since some of it isn't accessible ... and it'd take some ... some special something extra if any of that were to be preserved and available still.

But that's also why I went to write the Extensive Introduction. In volume it sure is a lot less, but so, it also allowed me to ... in theory ... alleviate some stress by cutting down on all but the essentials.

I hope that You're not disappointed if I call it THE LID on all those things, as ... a final instance of sorts. It may all be philosophical rather than authoritative, but that's what it is. The things are all still there. And I want You to perceive it as such ... . It's not to tell You what is and isn't the case, but to highlight a few things here and there that You may not have thought of or even known to consider.

Now ... that I think of it ... I'm not sure if I explained well enough how I got to all that. It would be nice to have feedback on that. Also, if You could hand me a version with all the errors marked in it ... that'd also be helpful.

If You would want to provide additional context ... well, I'd like to know more.


In my mind ... things could be so easy. And when it comes to misconceptions ... one problem is that I don't usually know how to resolve them. I mean ... starting with my own perception of them. I mean, it's not like ... they happen in context of a live conversation I'm having. They happen in my head.
And about that ... it's like ... difficult to write about things that I can't comprehend. So, if I were to address one specific misconception, I'd also have to mirror that misconception, so as for context. And at that point I feel like ... actually ... I could just brains off type the most ludicrous stuff and ... then argue with it. I don't, but ... it seems like it.

In a proper argument, the other person would defend their position ... to confirm or deny, specify, correct and elaborate ... so, I wouldn't have to do the work of making my own counter position.

And whenever it comes to that I see that I'm not afforded the luxury of demanding ... a live resolution.

And then, who even is the target?
Sometimes I'm not so sure.
I mean, it's an amalgam of targets with features of varying specificity.


All made up? I mean, not even that ... is like ... something that's afforded to me. Like, You wouldn't dare confirm to me that ... it is in deed how I suspect because I would think that that means that I was right all along.

So ... [shrugs] ... what can I do? I'd be leaving it be ... but ... can I? Could I? I mean ... isn't it so? Am I not to assume that people misperceive my position - and that I have to clarify?

Or more to the point: Is there NO need for clarification?


But so, what is there to clarify? And how can I go about it? Other than to ignore all the possible environments in which these misconceptions exist; And just focus on the thing itself as straight as possible?


And then what? I mean, if I was right, in fact, all this time ... why didn't I tell anyone?
I mean, I suppose I'm plagued by a Nemesis ... and I find it difficult to ignore "the enemy behind the veil". Like, there ... something just stinks and in the list of priorities ... regarding which misconceptions to focus on more directly ... there certainly is that which is most on my mind.

But then, at times, that stuff is like ... so far gone ... and so far out ... and usually it's like ... also just too stupid. You think about it for One or maybe Two seconds and already ... it falls apart; And I have to wonder "why am I doing this?" - but it's haunting me.

As of late I've come to think that maybe it isn't all that easy or obvious after all. But also, when I try to ... capture the essence of what I'm even trying to address ... it barely makes sense and I have no clue how accurate it is.

I mean, ever so often I feel like I'm doing them the favour of fleshing out their own nonsense. But is that then a misrepresentation? Missing the point? A Strawman? So, in that environment, again, how to even begin?

Why should I care? Why is this now my problem? Well, if the answer is good enough then ... that's that. If not ... then ... [violently shrugs]


It would be really strange, if there then were another party that's looking at this and ... is like ... totally cut off from it as well. Shrugging intensifies.


I mean, at first I would think of it all as one - and the issues presented to me are what would be ... like ... "the clog" or whatever. Like, someone, somewhere, must care about all this and ... that's how this can even be a thing. But who, what, why, where, when, how ... it ... it all doesn't come together. It doesn't make sense. Like, I can't believe that there's a single soul reading this.

But when I step away and try to re-evaluate my life's choices ... I keep coming back to it. At the very least am I developing my understanding. Until ... whenever it's needed.

And so, what I write about here may all be vastly hypothetical. I'm ... stuck to dealing with the issues and concepts that are present to me ... .
Yet, taking it just like this ... that may also be somewhat ignorant. After all I can't really tell whether it's this or that or something else entirely.

Grandma Oak

There's this ... "fluke" ... that was whispered into my ear by some mysterious ... wind ... which said that at the end of "all this" ... I'd come out like a "Gestriegelter Kater". Which is another way of saying ... Prim and Proper ... I suppose. Cleaned and Groomed. There were a few instances where I felt like ... "wow ... this is it" ... and so, who knows if this is it?
But in the depth of my sorryness I was then reminded of this ... fairy tale. I don't even know if it's a thing. Maybe I dreamt it up ... or am hallucinating. Now that I think of it, all I have are images ... possibly from different sources ... then stitched together in a way that didn't only make sense to me ... but it rang so deeply true to me ... that I immediately accepted it as fact. A given.

So is there this image of an Oak with the face of an old woman. As the images strike me as from a children's book, the expression is joyous and friendly. And yea ... I mean. In as far as I'm Clairvoyant ... or in as far as You're open Books to me, or in as far as God has withdrawn me from "ye ordinary folks" ... I sure feel like part of the scenery, or more to the point: I feel contempt with this situation. And for as long as You'd be doing fine ... I'd certainly be joyous and glad.

But that's also just part of it. More prominent ... more 'myself' ... is the picture of a Girl. She's short, has unkempt, long, dark hair ... and wears nothing but a ... gown? Plus Sized T-shirt? And maybe she has a plushy. When pictured, she's usually standing in blackness - as a place clearly separated from "the real world". She's a bit like a Ghost. Perhaps the Ghost of the Oak.

She's taken by some hand, led around, and where-ever she's taken, people reject her ... for one reason or another.

At least, that's the part that stuck with me. The story ... the fairy tale ... would certainly follow a plot and ... and ... there should be a happy ending, right?


But what can I say?

I tell You this, and immediately the picture is distorted. I then suspect that the idea gets more and more corrupt ... and eventually someone else shows up as the better me. Perhaps. At least ... as per what's going on in my head ... that's how things tend to go.

Different story.

So ... You know the Grinch ... and You know that picture of him with this evil smile. So, when I think about this screenshot from Terraria with my "Builder Loadout" on ... I can like feel my heart contort to ... make it resemble that. So ... I mean. Is it my heart? I mean, I'm just looking at it - I assume like You would ... if You tried to relate to me. And the thing is ... sure. I may at times have some devious ideas ... I also play pranks on people ... from time to time ... when the occasion occurs. But why this would manifest here, now and like so ... that's ... beyond me.

And to think that I might ... have a chance to become known and familiarized to You by more actual activities ... it seems to me like a forbidden thing to ask for.


It would however be the logical resolution, were one to occur.

Anyway. Before even telling You this ... this picture, it started to burn. Or ... there just is a burning ... where I once felt like ... I had found peace.
I suppose it's a sob-story that doesn't come out right while all the important pieces aren't even in their right place quite yet.



But I didn't mean to write all this. But also ... I'm not quite sure ... what I meant to write about. There seems to be something however ... about games and gaming ... my attitude towards certain things ... and I suppose all that is, or can be, relatively harmless - so ... why not start there?
Or continue?

Well, now is the time, it seems.

I hate how polarizing the media landscape is sometimes. And the way I see it, there are in deed like ... two separate worlds. Possibly with a third sandwiched in between the two. But so, I will also gladly - and perhaps fiercefully - engage in the polarization. It's like sports. And if people want to get competitive about it, well ... that leaves me no choice. I mean, literally. For, the one moment it's sports ... all fun and games ... and then someone makes a stink like we're the bad guys for saying that they're wrong or whatever ... and then we're already in the middle of it.

And for as long as it's on ... it's on. I mean ... there's a definitive right and wrong beyond the other right and wrong here ... and on either side ... I can't just stand idly by as these foul heathen tarnish the sacrecy of what ought to fill our passtime with joy.

But ... then there's the moment of generalization. Here things start to become blurry, because the concrete conflict is put aside and abstracted into a more general, or ideological something. Boxes are made to fit in the various things that need to be discussed, labeled and tagged with identities and cross-references as to why or how these things should matter to us.

At that point so we're deep in the weeds of this conflict. Lines have been crossed, atrocities commited ... and everyone's pointing fingers while we try to formulate the rights and wrongs here. Us sweet summer children. Innocent. We wouldn't know any better. We don't even know how to expect a sane response.

Or what it would look like.

By doing so, we also ... effectively ... put ourselves into a box. By the words we use, the sentences we repeat, we fit into a category. We may further specify ourselves ... such as with backstory and dates and all. Was Gamergate about corruption in Game Journalism, or was it a Misogynistic hate mob?

And I should bring it up, as here there is no Mystery in the who is who ... of what went down.

Well - in terms of YouTubers.


But I would say that Gamergate died along with the term "Anti-SJW" - and that was when the "movement" split into Woke and Anti-Woke.

Are there still grievances? Well, it would seem so. And that's on both sides. But for the most part we let it go and moved on and things basically ... just healed. We still have big butts and all of that stuff that Anita hates ... while also being males and females and otherwise alike ... .

Now, we can agree that ... uhm ... sure, there are ... uhm ... "those Guys" and ... uhm ... "those Games" ... and to that extent I myself feel compelled to utter a silent apology and say, OK ... You have/had a point there ... but ... . Uhm, I mean ... well, ... uhm - ... as for a reason to uphold the mockery, it REEKs of Eshem. Simply put. What we have there. It's shameless. But ... like so we're already in the realm of condemnation ... and since that's like ... a part of the thing I felt needed addressing ... I want to point that out regardless of how justified it is in this very instance.


Like ... when it comes to who the bad guys are ... there is that matter of redemption that needs to be considered also. It's ... a pain in the butt ... if You ask me ... but that pain ... is another person's life, so ... You kind of have to deal with it.

And yea, while we're at it ... I get that the insinuations of violence may be scaring some people off. Like, ... well. Full disclosure: This topic stresses me out. To the point where I keep running in circles ... and at some point I feel like my problem is that I keep making excuses for people that didn't deserve them. I mean ... if You know what this is all about, what we're up to ... and your only problem is that I consider that violence may be the only option ... my question should be: What would You have us do with people like You?
I mean - it sounds silly and may seem counter-intuitive or illogical or backward ... like "get on board with the Genocide" ... but uhm ... Genocide whom? I mean ... that's like a gross misrepresentation of the facts ... but if You keep pushing the issue ... I'm not so sure anymore. Because ... while we want to move forward You're like the one that's stalling. It's a bit like a self-fulfilling prophecy but stupid ... because all in all ... You're trying to get in the way of inevitability.

I mean, it kind of makes me more crazy than anyone else. Possibly. Not to get all philosophical about it, but my impulse to act demands that I put aside certain sensitivities. And these situations ... they obviously occur. As stated in the Bible, God would give away thousands for me. So, let's hope it doesn't have to come to that. But so, I'm not the only one that matters. Or only 'thing'. Some things weigh more than others - and some priorities definitely change over time. Alongside circumstances.

But yea, to take the dark clouds more seriously ... the question certainly then is, whom we are willing to throw under the bus and why. And I kind of avoid saying "if" it has to come to that, although I perhaps should. It's like ... right in the middle and either way isn't entirely ... correct.


See, the Gospel doesn't change. At the end of the Revelation it is emphasized that that the things it says are effectively carved into stone and if one alters the text, that ... well, it's like a "fuck You multiplier" I suppose. Not sure if the events were to change with the alterations, or ... what. I mean ... it's kind of ... critical or important to understand that ... if there's a plan and our transcript of it is bad ... then we have a problem.

The emphasis is however clearly on the unchanging nature of the truth beyond the lies ... and as such the Gospel is what it is, it contains what it does ... and what little we know about it is what little we know about it. However ... what we DO know is ... what we DO know ... and while You might laugh about these sentences I would like to emphasize that it's true nonetheless.

And those who worry that we're coming for them? Well ... I wonder what has them worried in the first place!

Like ... is it a lack of understanding? I mean ... sure, at some point this may just be a huge misunderstanding and You're in the entirely wrong movie ... like, You wanted to watch Cinderella but somehow ended up in 28 days later.

Uhm, sorry ... that's ... that's like ... my experience. Maybe. I didn't see the movie.


But we can so sit here and pretend that things just somehow get better ... or we look around and see the need for action. Urgent action. Big action. Strong action. And ... that because ... it's not even clear which parts of the systems we live in we can rely upon. We'll have to figure that out as we go, as we spread the word and ... thus, check our numbers.
But what once the count is complete?

Whom are we willing to throw under the Bus?


I mean, something has to give.
And ... so, I wouldn't say that we should kill everyone that isn't like ... in; Because that really makes it feel like we're racing towards a Genocide ... but if the alternative is nothing ... then ... yea, fuck it!

I say.
And if that throws You under the bus ... I ... I don't know if I can be sorry about that. Whoever You are.


But that of course is just ... the feeling. The emotion. The one ... that gives me vision, hope ... and catharsis. Sweet, therapeutic catharsis.
It's like ... it takes the place of what ... must have been barriers that barred me from seeing. And yea, I know how this sounds ... and sure enough, I'm practicing my evil laugh ... but at long last the 'thing' isn't the violence. But prior I suppose I felt like I was wrestled into submission ... passivity ... inaction and ultimately ... compliance ... via ideas, convictions and such ... that would at the very least need to be re-evaluated.
And rather than being stuck arguing over this BULLSHIT ... (by which I mean: The political discourse ... pardon ... "political discourse" of the recent years) ... I want to say enough ... get out Your pitchforks ... uh, but yea. If nobody follows along, that's ... uhm ... kind of silly.

So, I wanted to watch Spaceballs and ended up in Rambo. IDK.


But it also kind of says in Scripture that this is like ... the scale on which I should think. "Build Wide Your Tents". So, we are going to take over ... and interpret the good rules ... "our way". And as per the political landscape, this kind of action ... sure is a mutiny. Because ... we're tired of watching this Clownshow. So, we ignore the arguments, sidestep the bullshit they try to sell us as the truth ... and take a huge dump on their concept of social decorum. There ought to be a superlative for Hypocrisy to describe what it is that we're looking at ... and sorry if violent rhetoric is too sensitive for You but I have to say it as it is. If we're not willing to remove it by force ... we're not going to get rid of it. If that means we have to kill people, well ... that's the next question. How hard are we willing to throw them under the bus? Well, I want to present to You my opinion ... and I want You to think of it as a vote. Or a request. A set stance. Like ... what and how ... I don't know. And no ... not as within some secret circle of friends ... but publically ... as part of all of mankind. Here and unto the rest of You. I've had fucking enough ... let's fucking do it!

What it will take ... that we'll have to see.


But yea. It's complicated in as far ... as there are Bubbles. These internet Bubbles, echo chambers ... and from the looks of it ... a shit ton of propaganda and fake news.

And ... so, to take off the edge somewhat ... while people figure things out ... what are we even building? What do we want? Like, I throw my hat in the ring but ... there is no hat nor is there a ring. We haven't even begun to talk because there is no ... thing. No forum, no institution, no authority ... to initiate any of that. Best I can think of is myself ... as like ... the chosen. I'm like a built in focal point of reality ... am I not? So, let's use it! I say.

You'll have to be patient with me - like ... I'd prefer not to deal with hostilities and accusations ... but would very much prefer a constructive environment ... and ... I suppose we have to take baby steps. Let's just start with saying Hi ... maybe play some Terraria ... or Minecraft and just talk about things. Let things evolve and ... take shape ... while slowly building up towards ... a better tomorrow.


In peace and thanksgiving ...

Amen ... or so. Hmm ... is this appropriate here ...?