A fetishistic approach to world peace

You know me - maybe - and I'm supposed to (yea, getting more certain about that) drive a hard line on not covering it up. As for that - when you think of 'Saint John' or 'the Apostle John' you may get some image ... of a guy, strong, self-confident, smart, ... which you then would project onto me and kindof wonder ... as I would turn out being somehow the exact opposite to that. That person I imagine there - on a hunch I'd say that you're talking of Thomas the Twin, who is called so for being - measured in human standards - very similar to Jesus; I believe.

Peter on the other end would be that significant church leader 'due' to being sortof ... doubtful. He ... would so be more empathic towards the 'average joe'.

Which I had to throw in to add to the idea that the 12 Apostles were not all the same! John the Apostle is called "a" 'Son of Thunder' - which already sortof contradicts the image drawn of him; That of him being generally the silent guy in the background who is known for being close to Christ more than anything else. I can relate to that - since I'm generally calm, withdrawn, peaceful - but can be really 'charged' at times. I feel like that is a thing thats on the more difficult end of things to understand; Except maybe once thinking of an inherantly schizophrenic personality. To me its so that the calmness that I have is a matter of ... well ... my inherant attitude and alignment regarding existence. Also being generally introverted - reflective - and while not usually the most communicative person the guy who rather observes. I further find myself in a spot where most people around me are better at things than I am - so, to say that I'm used to being surrounded by professionals who know their thing; At least so my subconscious alignment to living; Which translates into a confidence that most things will turn out just fine without me doing anything, kindof. Sortof. I also have that 'vibrant feeling' of being not even a good advisor. In a sense - the question of one of the apostles regarding John at the end of the Gospel of John which goes like: "And what will be of him?" does to me stand out as a silent hint at ... that. That ... I/John am more of a "man-child" than a 'real man'. From my current perspective I'd compare myself - speaking of fairy tales - to the princess on the pie. I mean - that story of the princess that slept on layers upon layers of matraces; But felt uncomfortable due to a tiny pie on the bottom somewhere. So, rather sensitive, and ... looking for comfort. That in this sense translates into, well, me being more of a 'tester'. Someone would come up with something and my role would be to just feel comfortable with/about it; And while my elaborate oppinion would suck; People would only use me to get a vague thumbs up or down.

And I think thats why I would for instance prefer Street Fighter above Mortal Kombat - saying the Control scheme of Street Fighter is more comfortable! And that statement would in deed hint at 'one and only one' definitive fighting game. And there my mind is wired simple - strictly simple - saying; I settle on that idea - and whenever there is a question about it; My oppinion is the only one that matters.

But you got to know your shit to get any value out of my statments!


And so my life doesn't have a lot of meaning or purpose. As ordinarily one would find the same in what he or she is is good at - I'm generally good at being a tool; And so my 'official side' is generally "dysfunctional" outside of very specific private situations. When so speaking of my value as an Apostle it vastly comes down to that - and what I am allowing those things to be. So - its ... 'luxury problems' stuff ... essentially ... and while the luxury itself is a product of what others do - I'm not generally involved into anything at all.

The energetic side of me comes into play where I am first of all 'exposed' to situations that aren't normal for me. I try to adapt and my dysfunctional self usually has a range of complaints about it; And thats really all ther is to it. I don't even have a real self - which is a fact that comes down to thinking of a self as of some 'disalignment to perfection', where perfection is considered being a state of being vastly ... lacking any destinct personality; Where the personality I have is the product of yet getting along with a society. Thereby I find a spot that I'm alright with - and then ... well ... am pretty much ... expecting to get treated accordingly. By accordingly I mean: I make an effort of fitting in; Thus I'm expecting as much of an effort on making me feel comfortable with it. Due to that its most appropriate to consider me as royalty. Female royalty.


The way this unfolds is then vastly a matter of Sex. And the connections between comfort and sex are the general line I'm moving on; Though at some point that again is again something thats shifting away from me - as the realization of who or what I am is as growing to a given ideal thats ... pursued by my "situation" - at which ends I'm essentially a tool and that reality is tightly connected to my sexual evolution; So that when given the freedom to ... choose ... I'm leaning towards being alike a mere object.



With that we're certainly moving away from "important stuff" - and more into "hentai fantasy". Part of it then deals with the 'conscious reality' between being myself and fitting into a 'normal' society. So - once adapting I learn of the world "as it is" - taking on an 'armor' of valuing myself as human sotospeak - to say that my experienced reality that drafts me as an item accumulates energies that we then could describe as 'fetishes' or 'kinks'. In a sense do I then demand - at least of my intimate surrounding - some way of respecting the true reality of me which translates into as much as 'getting confirmed as a mere object'; Which is where 'kinks' such as being a pet or a doll come from; Or more generally speaking: The dehumanification of my self.
I once got told in the spirit not to brush my teeth. That was during a time where I tried to adapt to a society, being as acceptable as possible; While that objection kindof made me derail in a sense that ultimately ... made me sortof not fit in; At least not the way I had wanted to. However - the reason I bring this up is that its turned into a habit - even so that I got used to ignore whatever toothache I might have - which just as motivator to this article came to my attention since I had a taste in my mouth that ... well, I know from ... having been curious about my Kink for eating feces.
The way I react to this taste in my mouth compared to how I feel from eating feces is a bit different; While so far I haven't ever been forced to it or actually done it with anyone; Not in this life at least; And of that realization I have come to the conclusion and consent that I might actually "learn" to enjoy to relate to feces as a delicatesse. That on its own isn't anything to be proud of; As it inherantly does the exact opposite. But it feels good to me because it "helps me" associate to my existence without dissonance; While at the same time practically reflecting my true personality.


That ... "obviously" ... isn't anything really 'asked for' ... as to say, first of all, that it just is. As anyone does what he/she does not because he/she is asked for any of it - but just does so out of personal interest. And that is at the 'core' of life itself. So, that before we come to legitimately ask things of each other, we get to a point of having things that can be asked of us to get started. Anything else is oppressive bullshit that I heavily oppose; As far as there is a breath left in me. And because God essentially blessed me with a divine intellect and understanding - as to keep up with things around me; Like being able to understand things I'm confronted with on a whimp; Thus appearing ridicolously smart eventually - you get 'this' side of me; Which is all about living up to my "Apostolic Purpose"; And eventually there is no-one who could deliver these things better than me. And by 'these things' I don't really mean the fetish and kink side; But everything about the contrast between life and order. (And that why, if you contradict to me; Harshly; You kindof have no place in existence - sortof!)

To say: My royal nature isn't one of being authoritarian, but one of reaction. So - the opposite to a King. The King would rule to make things good - and the queen would demand things to be that way. So, that is the "true nature" of me, if you so will. And if there is one thing I hate above everything else - then its people trying to argue with me about what I am supposed to fucking take for good! Well, I got to correct that. I probably hate it more once there is soemthing I don't like, but my oppinion doesn't matter. Like, (U.S.) republican politics on climate change. I'd be on the frontlines calling for a revolution at this point! I dislike shady tactics such as assassinations - and much prefer the "French Way" of things, like, public decapitation.
And it is that menthality that makes me ... kindof sortof ... see M.Bison (Dictator) as the one Street Fighter Character that relates to me the most! Though philosophically there is Akuma and the 'Satsui no Hado' (Path of murderous intent) ... which is pretty compelling/satisfying too! But don't mistake this for a seriously expressed murderous intent. Its meant to be understood as an emotional thing, where ... God doesn't alter my feelings; Yet on top of that demands me/us to be forgiving - while through getting Baptized we basically 'beg' God to override what our emotions may have us do! So there is this really 'niche' situation where us having our totality of emotions is rather pointless ... maybe even counter productive ... as to say 'unreasonable', as they won't ever come to truely matter, as they won't even suffice to fuel our motivations of taking any actions whatsoever. They are just there - indirectly being a motivator that is for the most part however as motivating as a nuisance you can't really do anything about! So ... fucking pointless! Except in speech maybe - where speech then carries our character and expresses our legitimate ... thing ... thing; Which is practically a manifestation of our political ideas - if we had to take it upon ourselves to have a political position; While in general politics sucks. Having politics ... thats like ... politics is like a Strawman to have an excuse for contentions. Thats what we can see for instance once people who label themselves Republicans 'actually' want 'Liberal' politics. The thing that makes them 'Conservative' is just a tiny tiny thing - as translating a Christian position into politics; While nothing about Republican politics these days is actually even just remotely Christian per se! I mean, people like Trump would be amongst the first I'd have thrown out - in a high arc - out of any of our buildings.


Something else I can't stand is, ... well, that ones rather hard to explain; But ... taking a little detour ... does not only help but does also help to get this article rolling into a more fertile direction.



I have heard that scientists confirmed that 'collective consciousness' is a thing; But as with all things that are ... somewhat condemned by "mainstream science" (wholistic medicine, Tai Chi, etc.) - its hard to 'share' that knowledge as "everyone" would yell "pseudo science" at their mere notion. Its however a thing I've been hinting out at and been trying to get the word out about quite frequently; And I feel that many different kinds of people have reasons to not 'want' it to be a thing. Even Antichristians wouldn't want the knowledge to spread; Except within fringe environments where it would be taken the wrong way. The idea with collective consciousness is that we all are somehow connected - as once hype builds up around a game for instance. Some people wouldn't want it to be real as they'd be drawing conclusions that aren't even right; But thats how Antichristians would want you to perceive it.
They wouldn't want it to become mainstream knowledge though because it'd expose one of their main ... control mechanisms ... rendering it effectively useless.
So - in case you've had no clue what I was writing about in the beginning; That 'image of Saint John' thing; Then that is because they ... well ... 'removed' it. It works as hype works. Once you're hyped for a bad game or movie - you basically believe that its gonna be good; And that based on such images. So, that John image was there to make you think of me in a way that is just wrong; So they can, without even mentioning it, be like "Oh my, what a poor person - so far off" ... you know, counting on you to count one and one together; Thus making you believe in that image more than me, however desperately I'd try to tell you that its wrong!
The reason they'd remove it is because I did effectively debunk it - and now I'd look worse if the image were gone than if it were there. So, instead of playing a strategy that can't win anymore - they play it the other way - the "I don't know what he's talking about" way.

What they would howver be alright with - if it got Mainstream knowledge - were essentially if you were to overrated its significance. Like, instead of perceiving it as an interconnective web you might even mistake it for the Holy Spirit/God "Himself" - at which point the Antichrist were glad to be that God for you! Or you could go down the whole "We are essentially one being" way of thought. So, replacing God by the idea that we all are God - and stuck in this world because of some ... well, some people may have heard of that philosophy. There's a book about the Matrix that tries to deliver the same idea. There its due to some "Aliens" that we're stuck in this nether state of consciousness and that we have to break loose. So, anything that excludes the legitimate Christian God from the picture would work for them.
Or at least so once they are in control of the religious stream emerging from you embracing that idea!

And they ain't stupid! I mean - taking the whole "The Illuminati are the bad guys" theme of things - they clearly aren't the Illuminati - clear to me that is - but in worldly terms they possess an equivalent of knowledge - and for all that I care its better to not care at all - and to focus on the things that are less stuck in the mist.

This collective consciousness thing - I labelled it 'Astair' or in the 'being negatively influenced by it' way also 'Jinx' - we might also say 'hype field' - does in my oppinion constitute, roughly, in about a fourth of our physical reality. Physics itself also being in about a fourth of all the "sciency" things. And I believe they are connected on some Level - such as looking down the 'mind-control' or 'neurological interfaces' path of things. Its also connected to empathy - or more simply put: "Feeling the tensions" in a room for instance. We might claim that part of it as 'social physics' or 'social atmosphere'.

It would allow you to develop some level of telepathic skill - based on the conscious "output" of individuals - where a human being is like its own pocket dimension - entirely inaccessible to anyone - with an outer hull by which you interact with reality; And by which you are connected to the "Hype Field". Mind Control is then possible to a degree if you are exposed to 'harsh oppression' - ... uhm, as by 'subconscious reactions' for instance. So, if you aren't 100% in control of your psychicological processes this 'gate' allows them into your head - although they aren't as much going 'into' your head as you are subconsciously revealing yourself. So, if you pay enough attention and you're being/becomming a victim of someone messing with you, you can whitness that they pretty much are only 'probing' you. So, you'll get signals that you react to and based on your reactions they'll assess what up with you. This way they can figure out a lot about you - without you eventually even knowing! And yea - it can be extremely annoying at times! Especially since its difficult to ignore things; Or to rid your mind of these 'reactive habits' you evolve. Like, actively trying to ignore it may eventually even increase your vulnerability - Aikido style. So, them using your energy against yourself.

And once you are subconsciously aware of those things going on you'll also subconsciously not want that to be real. So, you'd rather have those things being an illusion.

In the same way you are, depending on how much of a victim you are, eventually even judging things entirely based on that Astair influence. So, ... lets say you're living together with a bunch of people - and one of them keeps stealing things - you'll suspect the wrong person because the one doing it has an 'Astair Shield' of sorts. This way people are getting victimized as you 'feel' it as 'more convincing' to blame those that basically 'attract' your insult. Similarly Trump won the election. While to some the facts stood out as obvious and had their significant weight on them; Others refused to see it. And maybe still do!

Equally you might wonder: How come Trump was even allowed to run for president! He and pretty much everyone that is with him have a record that ... should make it illegal for them to have any sort of legitimate political power! And also: I can give you evidence that the Roman Catholic Church is evil all day long - it'd eventually go past you almost entirely unnoticed! And obviously you're in more trouble the more attached you are to any of the bad groupings. Like, if your parents are Catholic - you're more protective of catholics. And what I noticed about Catholics and Catholic offspring is that if they are basically anti-religious; They are so in an extreme way. And so, yea, that Astair thing steers a lot of the Christian vs Atheist controversy. Atheists and Christians alike are on the same page however when it gets to understanding Christianity wrong!


And thats how they'll continue to get things wrong about it and contend about everything in the wrong way!

Keep that in mind the next time you get into an argument!

And be prepared for them changing their strategy. Although - at some point they don't make a big deal of it anymore and will rub it into your face! So - ... while trying to get you into a depression or something along the lines of ... "there is no hope".

You essentially have to be really careful of any 'oppinion' your mind just pops into; Basically demanding you to take a shortcut, bypassing legitimate reasoning. If you 'fail' you will have an oppinion you can very well defend logically and intellectually - and the difference between you and me were that I worked for my confession. I can tell you 'why' I believe what I believe in - and I don't mean it in a defensive way. I mean ... if you searched for something and found it - then you can tell 'why'. Because you 'searched', rather than having just 'fallen' into it. Sony vs. Microsoft; Thats another story - where there is the intellectual branch that made an objective choice; But yet most of the time a negative article about Sony will be taken more seriously than a negative article about Microsoft! At least it used to be that way; And probably will remain that way because they care more about the numbers! Obviously!

Also, going by the Jinx - well - Street Fighter must be the worse franchise ever in existence! "Everyone" hates it - and therefore "nobody" plays it! But in reality that would be every other Fighting Game ever - well - with a few exceptions of course. Games people put up with because its "Hype" or ... out of 'solidarity'. I mean, MK is inferior to SF in every single way - except for the Violence bit! And that sellls. That 'one' single argument floats there in the Astair hyping up the entire game as "Cool" - although it sucks from top to bottom.

And I believe it effects developers too! So, if there are decisions to be made - I mean ... I guess the bad guys have a point on their stuff selling better! Now you have an idea why!


What you should really get off your mind is the idea of evolving some kind of more legitimate telepathy based on Astair. And especially that you have some special psychic abilities! And most of all that any of that compares to Unification stuff! I find it hillarious once I see people trying to proof to them and others that they are as much of a psychic, if not more, than I am. Neither would I claim to be psychic at all! There is a certain "mainstream" sense you can get - which may be beneficial in some cases - but the more you rely on it the more easily you can be fooled!

And the less you believe in it - the more screwed you are 'already'! Because obvious! You take those influences for something that they flat out aren't!


And essentially I just demolished a lot of hard work some people did put into it. All I did was writing 'one' sentence that summarizes what might amount to a lifetime of effort! Well, because I undermined their leverage by confirming that what they're up into is a thing. Thats what it'd move up to. And clearly I wouldn't say that its not a thing! But how does that help you now contending whether or not there is a God? Which is what 'the reality' of things is/are all about! "F.Y.I."


On the other end: If you do get good at dealing with the Astair - you'll eventually be more capable of telling God from Astair - so ... I don't mean to tell you what to do per se! I'm just sayin' ... you possibly have a wrong idea of the difficulties of my life!


I hate being ignored! Thats something you potentially should get into your head! The nature of it is that I wouldn't make an effort of expressing myself for no reason! If I wanted to be ignored I'd shut the fuck up! If you however have any impression that deminishes my significance in favour of some "prick" that imposes as pulling all the threads; You're being had then! The more you try to connect to God as to get an answer from God - the more 'pure' Gods response will be! To the point that if you give up prematurely, you'll remain stuck in your illusions!
And the closer you get to a pure intent, the more you'll be confronted with worries - as the attachments you have; Implying that you're stuck to the tip of your head in shit!

I have examples of how I went wrong - as before I got baptized for instance. But those examples wouldn't matter to you because you'd prior to accepting my point of view assume that I am wrong now, was right in the past but went wrong at some point! The pattern is simple: Rendering me as irrelevant as possible. And being all like: I'm not supposed to be this way! Am I? Do you know or are you being told? If such shit unfolded before me - I don't feel like I'd leave the situation without leaving a violent mess; So God wants; ... I mean; Try to tell me that I'm wrong here, into my face ... and we can settle the "what would happen" debate once and for all!

Realistically I'd say ... I'd say something along the lines of "you're crazy!" though.


Or more accurately: "You got your ass open!". I mean, what God are we talking about who doesn't have Gods very own Apostle under control! Especially one as high profile as me!???


It should be obvious! "Duh!". I would like you to consider one thing: Why would God confirm 'me' as 'the One' if someone else were to be heeded instead? (#Fistingyourmouth)



So, if it now seemed to you like I'm not that 'bitch' I tell you I am - whats the conclusion supposed to be? #ThisisSparta



Ignore the 'thing' - and focus on 'God'! The more distant you are to God, the less of an actual value your oppinion has in these terms! And as opposed to what some would like you to believe; Establishing a relationship with God isn't a one-way road 'away' from God! Yet another thing essentially too obvious to be worth mentioning. Or think of it this way: What is the value of those you 'trust'/belive-in, ignoring your trust/faith in them?

Full of shit?


And starting with realistic depictions of me - you should start with the 'Imma Youjo' series. Especially the Android episode. Everything else is just more or less on point.


Which takes me now back to where this detour started. Up front though: This is not directed 'at those' that I'm upset about. Its more just me telling you about stuff thats going on which so happens to annoy me - anticipating that they won't stop with it; Which is pretty much true for everything I'm writing - except a few notes here and there. Its a general rule of thumb. I ignore them as much as I detest them. Which is ... a lot! A hellfire of hatred much of that! At no point do or did I mean to sympathize with them - and if you have at any point the impression that I'm addressing them rather than you - well - you're kindof on the wrong page. It isn't my mission to preach to them; As much as they didn't deserve any extra treatment. I do "love" them as much as the whole 'love your enemy' bit requires me to - and what I gather from that is that I do not like them at all; And the more they want me to specifically address them the less I do effectively want to even acknowledge their existence. But yea - 'they' are yet mentioned pretty often ... which you should first of all understand as a thing like; Me telling you that they exist. Ignoring that will most likely be a consequence of you connecting to the wrong people. Like ... not considering the closeness of your enemy; Especially if you're in a position of influence.

My 'nature' attracts a definition of Evil - obviously - one of the kind that almost every Hentai flick portrays. Now, the "twist" to that is that most of the time those Demons should be understood as a metaphor for God. Not a human being or entity. To put it into perspective: Being socially valued as appropriate for me, lets call it a Kink, is an emotional thing - and while there being submerged into darkness of mind, my mind is still active and does correspond to energies; Where the comfort of any kind of apparently detremental nature is a real emotion coming from somewhere. While a part of it is just me experiencing a given situational harmony there is an "extra bit" of force that turns the experience into a more 'spaceous' reality. In more detail its legit to say that the actual detrement of my situation is turned into pleasure as the physically closed doors are experienced as portals into an alternate reality vastly composed of emotions wherein I dwell. And no matter how large your cock - you can't match that one of God! Or, the many!
Because of that it is possible to give me what I need with much much less. Or as Kink has it: Sometimes gestures do more than any of the more elaborate activity can!

And as of that I can explain my 'night-time'. Sometimes I'm literally craving for Cock to the point of despair - which does however not mean that I am not getting satisfied pretty much regularly!
The one side is me experiencing reality the way it is - including the vast absence of anything I would want - and the other side is divine compensation; As so: Legitimately Love that I deserve for just and simply being alive!

The point pretty much is that there is no human being in existence; Including those that think themselves superhuman; That can give me what I need unless God is with that person and then cock-size doesn't matter anymore! Just by the way. As you might be able to tell is there though a 'situational' harmony that could be established as to comfort me; So - a realistic offering for me to be a slave to get fucked the way I want is naturally attractive and I'd be lieing if I said that I wouldn't like it. That is however as generic of a thing as it gets; Saying - and that is something of a "trademark" thing of the whore I am - there's nothing special about it and anyone could provide that - at least everyone who has enough 'change' left to feed me. Where it gets problematic however is when talking of duration. For once. The problematic part being me - saying that I don't have a 'generic' long term motivation to be a sub.


What I'm trying to get accross here is that I am 'more' than 'covered' sotospeak - as any room for attachments that I have can be pretty much called a space that God simply doesn't cover. Further; I am not unaware of these things, obviously; So, I'm aware of what God does to me - my role/position - what my life is about - and an understanding of 'whom' God is attaching me to is a part of that awareness. In the lesser that is narrowed down to the fact that there is a divine attachment; As ... thats the more sophisticated 'being just an item' part of the story. You could metaphorize that by inventing some magical item that would make you 'become' a divine Light for me - thus enabling you to yield my devotion.
For 'generic' realness you wouldn't want that for a long time though. If you wanted it - you'd be satisfied at some point - and thats what "it" is there for. As to say that I'm a whore - and if you might be able to effort me - and you would be able to entertain me regardless of your gender and physical assets!


And now there is a thing ... that to you would seem like ... well, lets call that: People who want me more exclusively for themselves, solely for reasons of bragging - kindof. And then bitching and whining if I won't acknowledge expressively and specifically that I would want to have sex with them. And in case you are one of them; Well - the more you are that way, the further down the list you slide! Specific enough?

The thing that bothers me is however not a sexual issue per se! Being mean I'd call "that thing" a psychosis consequential to how Antichristians are used to relate to the world and the word - which is the annoying bit. In essence its them sortof not believing that Unification is as much of a thing as I say it is - partly due to them being into ignoring anything that relates to God being superior to them - as a whole or individually - and so they try to do their whole Astair shenanigans. Which means that I kindof am hereby 'whining' to you about 'them mean Antichristians' - though more specifically what I'm giving you here is thereby 'beyond' what I got to deal with 'naturally'. I mean - as a whore I have to deal with certain things, like, being sexually provocative shouldn't leave me surprised if some of that would have some people interested in a certain way. In 'reality' the situation is however less one of them actually being attracted to me - but more so that I'm getting an impression of something that to me feels like they wanna hit on me while in truth they are just 'trying to understand me as part of their alignments' - so, in a sense ... trying to 'make up' some 'bad version' of me that would fit into their way of things; And what I'm expressing is thereby nothing provocative but just indicative of which direction to look at.
Eventually 'everything' they want at this point is me to just emotionally give them some form of acknowledgement - which is essentially easy to attain ... normally. It is due to our inherant weakness. So - the thing is that they so create some sort of vacuum that I should eventually just 'plop' into - which they then would use ... or rather 'abuse' ... in some Astair/Jinx related fashion. I do thereby feel extremely uncomfortable - or more specifically: Once I write about them, or think about someone, like Trump for instance, its like their face is literally glued to mine - mouth to mouth - and no punching or kicking could get them off of me. In a God governed world that to me were reason enough to practically 'sue' them.

Regarding the whole 'subconsciously reacting' thing I mentioned previously, what this does to me is effectively traumatizing. So, judging from a few experiences of that sort I grow anxious in more than just one way; And because of stresses and tensions would kindof 'project' 'supposed activity' onto anyone I think about; Which I feel like has an effect of me sortof Jinxing you into being that way to me. This has a really troublesome thing to it, being that in moments where you're both, concerned of these Astair/Jinx things 'and' thinking of "eventually" getting into some kind of comfortable real life situation 'independent' of them; There is this 'layer' of conceived discomfort about their existence; Which feels a bit like - well - as though everything were focussed on them. So, you'll essentially feel like there can't be any comfort for as long as we'd just ignore them. To my experience more specifically like: If we'd have Sex amongst ourselves, ignoring them (casting them out, not letting them in, whatever) - we'd do all we did somehow 'for' them. Like, as though we'd be trying to proof a point by doing so - and them standing there reacting like it doesn't work.
More comprehensively: It "means" that if we had an orgy "amongst ourselves" (yea, that addition shouldn't be necessary and is kindof an indicator of given influence in and of itself) we'd need some sort of guards that would have to establish some kind of spiritual/emotional 'protective shell' for anyone to be able to enjoy. Which means: They really don't wanna be left outside! They'll possibly do everything in their might to get foot into the door. And I'm most certainly not having that!
Something else related: They sortof have their ways of mimicing or rather 'hijacking' the images we like. So, if I think of Monica for instance; It frequently happens that I see the face of J.Lo instead. And the moment you take that even just remotely seriously your effectively in for a huge hiatus - to the point of me being eventually like a child thats harassed by some other child - like - someone taking away my doll and me being consequentially crying about it to the parents - which is essentially God - along the lines of "[whine] he's harassing me all the time [whine]".

That is then true when the emotional 'core' of me breaks through my intellectual shell - effectively speaking. And that is somehow a good enough line for me to settle a statement about good and evil; Speaking of who does what to which ends. Luxury Problems? Yes! And to one up that: Third world problems suck - because these Luxury Problems fail and pale in comparison! And on a rough note: Luxury Problems aren't 'really' too different from the more serious third world problems. They do as much 'bad' as the others - effectively. Not to say that they legitimately compare - but being required to say: "I have to to be glad that I at least ..." - that is just as bad as supporting third world problems. Like, what could I even do? I thereby don't believe in activism - at least - not to the point that I would encourage everyone to bother! Those are not 'our' problems! If 'we' had a say in things - those problems wouldn't exist! We'd have much more of an open field to get those things solved!
Without activism! Activism is like ... aside of the very real good that it yet does ... a confession to failure! As the saying goes: "Aim for the head and finish it quicker!" (Squaresoft/Square-Enix's 'Valkyrie').


The problem now is as usual that me just "putting it off" won't solve the problem. I mean - the obvious answer is obvious: God will be our shield. Thats the thing. Though its more of a hope than a fact - kindof. At least there are those very real impressions that I am supposed to tell you something about to make you feel better; Which to the Antichristians concern would be something along the lines of allowing them in - which - I'm not gonna be having! "God forbid!". Just as I'm not posing as a whore for 'them' - and my "target audience" most specifically is that type of person thats generally not attractive and basically that "looser" type of person who wouldn't dare dream of hitting a Godess ... or ... well ... dreaming maybe, ... but - that type of person wouldn't be concerned of the Sex, but of the partner - to make 'her feel good' - having her enjoy it - and being not confident about "having it". And the following is hereby perhaps rather addressing anyone like me - so - all the Whores that are not yet 'there'. We are like 'magical dolls'. As to say: We have no right to choose - but we will be as though in a deep crush with anyone whom we are assigned to. Which is where hentai movies are an actually quite accurate ... 'advertisement'. And so there are two ways of percieving the whole "Orgy dillemma". Either we 'move' into that space where we're like actually trying to proove a point; Which is however opened in that situation of being worried; So, its artificial to the power of 2. Or we're 'emotionally compelled' to do various things 'of our own' - and yea - if we think about 'them' while thinking of those emotions the same weird 'mix-in' happens and they'll naturally try to be as obnoxious as possible; Which is possibly even setup as a constant in the Astair; To the point that it might seem as though we'd never be capable of actually ignoring them. But that is only if you're concerned of 'them'. And yea - they obviously would want to mess with your head that you effectively had to think of them ... always. But the same 'thing' happens if you think about the emotions or God. So - the thought of a thing basically boosts the respective thing - to say: If you have a compelling emotional base with someone - you only have to further advance on that and the emotions will advance respectively, so you're essentially "auto-conditioning" yourself to, as by direct comparison, prefer the one thing above the other and so the Antichristian influence is naturally ... well ... discarded! It ... cannot keep up - though naturally; Once you're effectively 'intoxicated' - as, actively disturbed by such influences - you're also sortof exposed to a power thats trying to get the most out of each and every single exploitable thing you have. So, as you wanna 'see' how it'd play out you have that question: "Can it really be removed entirely?" - and in that question you have that concern of it being there always - and that itself is an exploitable thing that will get boosted and thus cause the impression that it won't ever go away!
On top of that you may also get impressions of their faces being totally self-confident - which is to my understanding because they have some 'high ground' in the Astair, like, while we have to invest energy into anything they kindof don't - like they have Mechs and we ... have shovels. So, they appear confident which will put you off even more - and the worry of you looking sortof weak is another crack in your fassade that to them is kindof easy to exploit. And I don't think that they will just remove that influence - because else you'd be in for what I'm saying "just like that" - and that ain't what they want!

And whenever they appear like you did dealt a huge blow to them; Its most likely a ruse - and you're missing something! I mean - its 'human' to try and see whether you did anything they actually dislike; And so you might end up thinking on and on until they seem like "noooooo!" - by which time you've probably gone wrong somewhere!


In the end: What raelly turns them off are real life consequences they then have to really and quite literally be concerned about! But they won't do you the favour of looking that way! So, while you're just at home and thinking - yea - maybe you're taking turns they won't like ... but for as long as you're just that - "home alone" - they don't really have any reason to worry at all! In the core of that you kindof have to understand their position as a belief or religion. The religion of 'not believing that you'll do anything remotely threatening to them'. That is important - as the relevant part of that happens on the metaphysical plane. They can be entirely supportive of me - and yet have you in the lock of not doing anything. And thats what I'm trying to tell you quite often in my writings ... that the true journey begins inside of you. These statements are something I usually get a vibe of ridicule of. As it yea, sounds pretty esoterical and ... "not badassy" "enough" ... but if you're ready for your 'first Boss encounter' - speaking in Video Game terms - search within, not without! Try to train yourself to be the one yourself you're supposed to impress - and you'll discover: The entire game has an easy mode!


Another helpful figure I can think of is to compare these things to chemistry. As there is a certain 'elemental balance' (fire, earth, water, wind/air) that corresponds to being harmonic to the divine - and the Antichristians try to get you into an opposite balance. So, first its a thing between your head and your heart. Though 'thinking with your heart' is effectively right, its wrong if your head is 'off sync'. So, you're eventually thinking with your heart that turning off your head is the right way to go - but you can use your hart to control your head - to basically 'tune it' - and by taking into your heart what and who God is - and therefrom trying to adjust your head to it - you'll be able to feel a transformation, a chemical metamorphosis of sort, that will make you more critical about God related things ... and once both parts support each other; You always have a backup module sotospeak, in case one fails. The two then further correspond to each other; Kindof like one telling the other what it needs/expects of the other - as your heart telling your head what to look out for, and your head telling your heart what is OK to be OK with. Where there is a rhetorical OK and a confessional OK.

When being sortof 'on the wrong way' for instance, you generally use both for individual things. You have your head in that, while your circumstances expose you in a way that makes you use your heart as a shield of some sort - though its actually more like bending over and pulling down your pants. So you'll use your heart to consume "those words" - and while doing so it'll send signals to your head that require you to agree. Or have you agree. Eventually your head may be pulled in having a question - but if you don't have a legit connection between the two it'll suffice to satisfy your heart to convince your head. And further you'll abuse your heart to reason to your head why your head has nothing to say in that regard. Your heart is in control - effectively - as your head judges in behalf of your heart in certain matters. So - in the 'classic fail situation' you're caught in a loop of self-distraction and neither will confess to the other that there's something wrong with the situation. Its a bit like a bad 'VideoTube.something' site, a hypothetical one, that offers you only 'bad' 'next' videos to watch whatever video you initially picked. The guise worked by at first offering the things you like, whatever it may be, thus cheating you into thinking that its all good. So, ... like all false prophets ever would naturally bait people in by things they like ... just to drag them down a shithold of nonsense. Either stimulating the head to get the heart move astray, or stimulating your heart to get your head move astray. Thus being totally supportive of whatever you may want - while catering to your senses of social integrity to at first just passively nod - but then more and more adapt all the bad philosophy.
So if you "just simply" tried to tune either of the two towards God - you'd next ask the other part; Where you're either lucky and it has the answer - or not. So ... getting both in line is really a key thing to do. And thats the secret of pondering - as a practice to expose both, head and heart, to a philosophy. You then won't be satisfied with hollow answers or learning things by hard - while your heart seeks understanding and your head the information. So is the testimony a composite of reason and emotion. What your heart understood will take shape in your head - and the testimony will imprint that information into your heart - which then becomes a reliable thing to build upon! Amen and Halleluyah!

"The End!"

Thinking with your Heart (how to (understand))

by Christopher Nikolaus Sonnberger | 2017.02.27|20:28

(So, there wasn't a lot of fetish involved into this at all ... but one of the things about having heart and mind in tune with reality will tell you how relevant fetish and kink are to you - saying - its always been kindof a problem I've been bothered by ... something I just couldn't get right ... to write about myself without triggering some false impressions. Once you're on the right way you'll see that these things don't actually mean all that much - while understanding that they are yet there somewhere, well, is nontheless essential ... while ... eventually you'll tell me why ... to say: I have to think of these things and ... yea ... the thing is that I just really learned of this - ... so, sorry (again) if this is feeling kindof ... incomplete! Maybe this is enough - ... for now at least!)

20:36.