Because it's over

Yea. I suppose, all things considered ... it seems like it. Sure, kind of like countless times before. Maybe I'll even have to start over at some point. But uhm, no. That part is ... there. I mean, when I was like: "I got to a good point and now I can sober up and iron out the kinks" - I kind of was having on mind what I have now. And if you know what I'm talking about you also understand the true severity of the problem I was facing.

I mean, wasn't I here like one month ago already?

I mean, it's funny. Just imagine implementing the Librarian into something that isn't Crystals. Or when used to some sort of that, imagine implementing it into something like Crystals. And I'm glad - because a lot of the things make me feel a little silly sometimes. Whether I do or don't believe in the thing isn't the issue. It's mostly just insecurity about my style and habits. But ... having things be out there also changes things. I suppose I told you that before.
And at this point it doesn't seem to be a mixed bag either.

There are those that looked at it and they are like on my side and there are those that don't want it to be true unless it's a complete desaster and they're not having any opinion that they don't want to be true - and ... that's kind of what I'm looking at. I mean, that's the movie in my head and I wonder how it's going to play out.


Because ... to me this is it. I mean, surely I'm not done - but also, right around the corner, there's the point where the engine or the whole would become "proprietary". Which is also ... still a thing. So, to prepare you for what I have on mind, Crystals would legally be an entity that claims all that uses it somehow as a part of itself. But ... it surely sounds more draconian than it is.

And yea, I may be way too excited over what I have. There's still this or that, that could or would be part of "the thing" - I could focus on a thing that's more like ... supposed to be open source. But I'm not sure how that's supposed to play out. What I'm getting is that a lot of things I want/ed to work on seem like ... they're blocked. Like someone out there is like ... "hmmm ..." ... and now they're working on it and there's nothing I can do but ... wait for it?


And yea, to those that really know what they're doing the Jig might be so up, it's got a Family Name, Family Tree and a Passport, van Uppington the third.

But yea, but there still is this and that - and so, even without anyone doing anything, eventually it might become a thing; But still ... I don't know.


Anyway. I also feel like I need time to let things sink in. It was in deed difficult to get to this point; And part of the difficulty may have been that I never had enough time to let anything settle. I mean, per usual I'd get to the point - I let things sink in, then get back into it and it all ... just sucks somehow. But then I suppose it was important to get these things done done - where, something like a Desktop that's written as an overlay that can be activated or transitioned INTO is really just ... it's not THE problem.

Bigger problems are: The gamepad ever so often disconnects, how can I fix that? When changing screen focus, things break, how can I fix that? And it would be nice if I had solved those issues before but I figured that there isn't much of a point if I don't have actual runtime - but when I, like now, have actual runtime it's like ... uhm, OK ... maybe later.


So yea. There's a lot of inadquacies, major or minor - that would bug me; And on and off I'd get around to doing some extra work. And now seeing where I haven't done it ... uh, I mean, I can't be arsed and you couldn't arse me. I guess that with the full thing at display, which is in deed still just a fraction of "all the things", all of that becomes a minor issue. I mean, that's however what's supposed to be real if the thing works as intended.


And so, I don't exactly know what to do right now. Like, I'd have to sit down and seriously think things through. And I might try to do "this" or "that". Well, there's still plenty of things I'll need before I can like work on a serious game. But when it comes to releases ... I don't think I can continue as before.
I mean, any one part still has to be upgraded or replaced with the (correct) better version; then there's the issue with a somewhat more flexible VR functions - perhaps making it modular to work with different Focus Stack solutions. I mean, that'd be like ... top priority when it comes to the Eagle Engine as a product. But that's all already like ... real work. To say ... it's no longer the concept stage and ... I kind of do want to work on my game. Except that along the way ... some things might "fall over".


The thing however is this: I have a function/class/logic for how to implement Planets into this - so, I have my own type of sphere that's specifically designed to be mapped into square-space. And that'd be the foundation or an integral center point of what I'm trying to do. But it's flagged as "Not open source". And so I could try to build the engine while specifically leaving out the sphere and replacing it with a cube maybe. And I'm not sure whether I'm to expose myself to "such" scrutiny or not. I mean - there is an urge maybe to share where I'm at and make sure you understand that I'm not as stupid as you might think because you don't understand everything as well as I do.
But then, I am who I am and ... whether Humans actually got it or not is still like ... out in the open.

Like sure, at this point it doesn't do whatever you'd want ... out of the box. But there's also many ways to take it. Many solutions can be "the right one" depending on what you want. I understand that what I'm thinking of ... it's nothing too special. It's like ... the next logical thing. And eventually it'd be like ... so much so the next logical thing, it just has to be there. And there's ... other stuff. So ... . But then, for what you might want ... or let's put it differently: From a practical standpoint, different ways of working with it might lend themselves to more good use. If you had a map of the Universe ... that'd be just that. Not ... all that useful. Especially when considering how much data you could realistically 'have' - and for what. So, I figure that a solution that doesn't scale "into infinity" but one that does so by looping back around would have generally more overall use, is what I'm saying.

But ... yea. So ... I'm not done done ... but, I need to let things sink in and then I don't know what I want to work on. So for now, case is closed and we're moving on. Sortof. We haven't packed properly, stuff is still like loose, I'm not really into both shoes yet but already walking out while putting on my jacket, trying to get music into my earplugs and eating a sandwitch. "As you do".

Part 2

Hmm ... time to appreciate the hard work that was done. I mean, I'm now sitting here trying to catch up on thoughts that went through my mind, but of course I don't have a list. Like, somewhere I feel like you're waiting for a signal from me - and I don't know what that would be. And that's just one of many things cursing through my mind.

And as it stands ... I don't have the brainjuice for any of it. I mean - yea. I'm like done. My brain needs a break. Like ... actually, with the thing being what it is, looking back ... it's surprising to me how little downtime I had. Although it was like totally chill with a lot of downtime in between, times where I didn't know what to do with my self and my time; Whenever there was something it was a lot and challenging in a lot of different ways and time consuming ... . So, enough buffer space but ... not THAT much. I suppose good time management made it so that I wasn't bored with nothing to do for TOO too long - but between all the different things that needed to be done ... and that 'in time' I assume ... it was rough. I mean, it was often enough that being done "right away" and not leaving things for another time ... turned out to be the right call because the very next the day the next issue would end on my desk. With stuff happening round about. Ugh ... . Oh my, the J.Lo story I also still have to produce I guess. Yea.

So, circles. Looking for an exit condition.


Am I ready? Am I prepared? I'm afraid not! But can I ever?
Well ... we'll see ... . Because all this being said ... Tomorrow does exist and it will come eventually. Peace!