Spoilers up - and Engage!

Well. Tomorrow morning there's still a little stop, but then it's two weeks holliday and I suppose I'll be doing some programming. Which is where the whole Linux thing will probably need to be delayed. Or the other way around.

Oh yea. I have thus far tried to avoid a certain term - and I maybe let it slip once or twice over the years. I mean, it could be misinterpreted as a tag of some kind. And ever so often I have to delete it again, writing it as the other way around instead ... and wonder if there's any point to this. I mean - the term was introduced to me during my youth; And while I was taking a 'pro-jesus' message from rap, this would flip it on its head and get kids into Gangster shit. With it come the whole Gangster movies with their "money rules the world", "dog eat dog" type attitudes - being in some way however one of the few, and in a certain light perhaps also only truth-tellers in this world.

And, I wouldn't necessarily call this mind-control or subtle advertisement. In the end, it comes down to what the world has to offer. Like, if you're into Star Wars you might dress like a Jedi or Sith and go to some Nerd Convention - and there, well, I take it as a plus that I wouldn't have to fight the other side to the death. And the funny truth is, that this is like ... closer to reality than anything else here still. Nerd Conventions are real. And there we have both, Jedi and Sith co-existing in peace and harmony with a lot of other silly folk from a lot of other silly places. And it's like ... this is also kind of what it would look like if those folk from those places were able to make peace somehow.
Sure, the cultural setting is ... to be ignored.

But on the other hand - if you're short on cash and offered an opportunity and you take it ... and it so happens to be of criminal enterprise - well, then you're like in a Gangster Movie. So, it's the other way around. You might feel cool for being like in a movie - which is, it's popped into my head recently and I found it odd. I mean, I get the baseline of it. A point in life that resonates with something that's just more broadly a cultural thing perhaps - like a silly discovery. A stick that's perfectly shaped like a straightsword with handguard. Something memorable - and something that may make for a good story. But at something I caught a vibe that felt like ... I've been owned because "their" life is like a movie versus ... whatever muck we're caught up in I guess. And there's also a vibe like ... a thick blindness that imposes this idea that everyone sees it this way. That it's the only way to see things; And that there's no other way of looking at things. The proverbial folk in the cave looking at shadows.


But to them I guess, we are it. Or it's like ... their world-view paints us as 'flat' in the sense that there are things we couldn't know of; And hence we can't understand and thus our opinions are invalid. Or, not asmuch invalid but irrelevant. Their part of some ... shit that's more or less just a distraction.
Or something like that.
And some people, I suppose, are even grown that way.

Hmm. And I ... . Well, ... . Let's say: Whatever the hell I was grown like - "I yearned for the [the World]".
Videogames and stuff. But still ... when it came to atheists I had this like ... precut image, almost, that however only exists because I believe in God and ... am given a certain few notes on the concept of atheism.
So, I wasn't 'indoctrinated' per se, ... . I guess it comes down to how for once believers and unbelievers are juxtaposed, and how unbelievers are also heavily linked with denial. It's either that or just fiendish.
And maybe that's one thing that drew me to this weird book we had. The images felt like ... truth - in a way that's ... there was something piercing through to me; Which now I interpret as the closest thing to a true vision on the concepts of good and evil.

I mean, the concept of morality that atheists hold wasn't new to me. I developed it myself. I called it Neo-Gnosis. Sort of. But it took me a while to associate that with atheistic "belief". Well, you could call it that. Although - it's not so much that as it is ... logical. At least philosophically the argument is there, that human organization does in fact require co-operation; And hence, the development of some kind of overarching ethical structure is pretty much inevitable, as evidenced by the volumes and volumes of religiously themed archaeological findings.

And yea. It sure doesn't help that atheists too however are programmed to ... bring arguments that are of absolutely no importance to the believer and just re-enforce this idea that they're butthurt.


What would help is an extension of the level of depth and detail on both sides. I'd say first, for the atheist, that the Butthurt may in fact be real but would merely be a catalyst ontowards the realm of people who've had similar struggles - alas: "An Alternative Worldview" in the most truest ways of the word evolves/evolved - and it provides it's own unique ways of engaging with reality - that also lie well beyond the bounds of any one specific religious form. So - the form being in and of itself unable to resolve the weight of reality within their dogma, this new middle ground becomes the new common ground. So, the search leads to answers - and other things that are appreciated in this common sphere. And this then adds to the weight against Religion, in a time where the Butthurt is long gone - and the truth has awakened the missionary urge within the enlightened.

We might call them: "Dollar Store Missionaries".

The line was deemed a failure due to its structural complexities and demands on the end-user. For what they require they're vastly outclassed by the "Science Communicator" - and that line was deemed a success. The DSM is however also a very low cost solution where it's demand on the end user is basically in line with other structures that already maintain them. Hence the term.
Also, the abbreviation would lend itself to bad comparisons.


On the believers side, well. There for once is the concept of 'the wicked' - and the struggle between good and evil that has to be like, there. But sure. Calling the Atheist an Ally is to also, sortof, call treason to the spiritual leaders who seek to escape their criticisms. And yes, there is a considerable amount of damage ... thinking of the bridge between atheist and christian thinking.
So, nuance is important - and to that it is important to start by conceptualizing the own perspective as the thing that's flat. A different perspective can always add to yours - and good spirits in co-operation is also a cheers to the hope that someone will somehow figure something out. But uhm ...


Uhm, the point is, there's no need for malice here. You know, it's all ... a series of unfortunate events.

Like ... the story of David. I had to ruminate over it last night. I went to bed in time and that ... I need to get it into my head ... never really worked. I laid wake until 3, was definitely in no shape to make a working day, went back to sleep and called in sick. And ... I don't like it. I feel shameful. I feel ... guilty. I feel ... I'm not feeling well.
Anyway. So, I've been guilt tripping over this whole ... 'taking power' thing. I mean, there's what I would call my sense of justice - and for whenever I put that aside and look at it not trying to imply its justice, I feel ... ashamed. Yea, Cowardice is a word that comes to mind.


I also feel like I owe those two guys an apology. One of them however, I believe I'm led to think that one of them was "told off" by Christ Himself - saying that I was right and that he'll see it in due time. I also think that Jesus outed me to him; And I think I yet owed him ... the justice in how they were also right in doing what they did. Sortof.

But. How do I even relate to David?
I mean - I take the story and I try to find it within myself. And usually ... that should only take me to places I know. So, I knwo thing a and b of myself - and I know the story - and I find it deeply irritating how ... I'm in that story. I mean - one thing that ocurred to me yesterday is, that the level of detail with which Scripture reflects on David would have required him to like ... confess, in the end, to a variety of things. Something that is then like ... missing. And I don't question the record in as far as I find myself in it.
So, what I didn't like was the concept of power offered to me; And the stresses involved with carrying it. Like, the word that God didn't want Israel to have a King is there - and ... yea. In as far as Saul was also still capable of maintaining himself as King - dispite what was decreed by the priests - the forces that be had clearly chosen their leader. And why would I want to pry this from him? As if I wanted it. As if I'd want to be the leader of those ... who clearly do not see the path!

So, if God willed it - He would somehow make it so that I get to be King, I would have thought - and until then, good fucking riddance!

To the perspective of Saul I got cucked out, I suppose. He just said nope - and waited for me to leave.

Well - it ended up with him dead and me on the throne ... and I basically didn't have to do a thing. So yea ... how about that?

But sure. First Saul was dead and then there was this other chump claiming to follow Saul's succession. This was an affront to my claim in the throne - and to me it was ... yea, just the same as before. Sortof. I mean, ... I was once again asked to make a move ... and claim what is mine. To not let this injustice ... be. But that, again, is assuming that I held the throne, which I was not. And so, it was not yet given. And neither should it be taken. That's a thing I asked I presume. Then someone went out and did it - and they thought they were being smart and that I'd be glad but I wasn't ... . You could say that I was too full of myself. And I do believe that I also came to agree with that after the fact. Holding that kind of power is different to scheming about it. Because so, now I was still ... effectively ... chosen to act on behalf of the people. And if they wanted Blood, I was to give it to them. Which, I guess, made me somewhat disassociate with my surrounding and fall into some kind of depression. the thing also is like ... in as far as God wanted to be King, I was effectively God now. So, my relationship with God - the whole Kumba-Yah aspect to it - that also ... became chaotic and disturbed. And sure, I also didn't feel like I 'earned' that spot either.

The thing is ... for this story to have gone the right way, I would have had to not only figure out democracy, but to also find a way to make it work. That's basically - I suppose - what I was brooding over in those days after Saul's death. Like sure: a) What's my Problem? and b) What should the solution be?

And ... so, legend could have it, that David is still sitting there in his cave brooding over the answers to his struggles.


I mean, sure. In as far as the nation could use some fixing, better plumbing perhaps and what not, there would be that level of interest and focus of governance. To so, create a solution to the problems posed which don't require a King. But then you're surrounded by a bunch of people who only think of war - and the only good you are is your prowess as a fighter - yea. It's a mess.


And did we learn anything from it?

Hmm. Live by the Sword, Die by the Sword. Joke was on me, as: Live by the Struggle, Die by the Struggle - is true by the same logic.
Silly ... but what is the Karmic truth of it?


So, technically, if we were to think of David's life as a Videogame and we put our Captain Hindsight suits on, we could think of like speedrunning to the end-goal, which I didn't do. In basic "first attempt" tradition, my legacy fell into rubble and apart from words in dubious records there's no evidence of me. Which makes me however a myth and a legend. And perhaps just a few skin-tones away from being considered greater than Arthur. (zing)[dabs]
But sure. There's more evidence of me than there's of him - which is ... at least something.

Now we can say that if there were a Kraken, some people would be dead now. Which I guess is my way of having partaken in the guilt of power ... and ... and ... yet I have to wonder, once again, what now?

Like - so, if I wasn't wrong ... then, there's no need to guilt trip and no need for me to assume like I'm ... owing ... I mean ... . Are we past the whole "power needs to be taken" era of our kind?
Sure sure ... and yea. That's where the violence comes in. Any claim to justice stands on the willingness to enforce it. Or so: Any desire to justice needs a functioning solution.

In the mad dream, that's where the Charismatic Leader pops up to talk desires into people that then create political motion. I mean, that's like ... the Game Over Screen. To another game. Not my game.

In mine it's part of the advertisement.
But anyhow.


No, the collective power needs to have an implied expression. The unity as such must compose itself in a way that is true to its own form - and once executive function has been established ... 'power' is no longer a concept capable of challenging the established order. Well - that's the idea, at least internally, while external 'obstacles' exist as a thing of their own.

Anyway.


Where's my mind? It's ... "gone fishing".