*-blip-* void protocol 1

It is Sabbath, and quite honestly I'm still not really sure what to do with it. I mean, I'm kind of mixed - or: in two ways - about it, but technically also I'm not.
There's one side of me that loves Sabbath. To me, there's just something in the air. When tuning into it and thinking of the day as a day of rest where a certain "fuck you" attitude is to take priority - hmm, is that too thick?

But then it's sabbath - and I don't know what to call or consider my 'business'. And I don't like it when I get to do something on Sabbath after convincing me that it's a spare-time thing, and then it's Sunday and I get to do the "Sabbathing". Especially considering when I find myself exhausted so often. As if I didn't have enough rest.
So, on a subconscious Level I know what's going on. But in the moment it's always difficult. Like, right now. I can't tell whether this is too much already. I mean, ... .

I guess ... I sat down thinking of this as just another day. What pops into my head? Just drift along and vibe. Not thinking of it as a day of rest.
Another thing that happens is that I'll excuse myself from chores, explicitly. But that's just what I'm doing when I'm doing things and I have that excuse to not do them. But so - yes. Shame upon my head.

I'm lazy, in a way - and perhaps I have the right to be. After all. It's my way of staying busy. [shrugs]

Then on Sunday the story would be that whatever I did on Saturday wasn't so relaxing after all; And so I need a break. Sure thing ... this doesn't work.


And maybe that then makes the differences between a "hobby" and doing something properly, as with preparedness. I mean, the shift I have to 'contend' with is to set that what's important to me 'behind' - so - to the next day - as to now get ready and find the peace to do whatever is on my mind.

... and with that being said ...


What do I have, but Videogames?
Sometimes the absence of things can do miracles. But cleaning up ... . I mean ... as an alternative to what I'm doing now I might have done that - but now I'm doing this. But the absence of Videogames experience-wise only shifts my focus onto something else. Usually paper. But in that area - I'm not sure. My "scribble to design" ratio has shifted strongly towards "scribble" - and I find it more challenging to focus.

... uhm. Oh. "Sppppoooooookieeeee" ...~~~~~. No, it's technically that the real focus to be had is more in the actual code again. Where, yea, I've moved on to X5.

But is that now ... uhm. Whatever ... [gsshhhh] ... hmmm. Something is . . .


-tuning out-
//10:30 a.m.