Now, on a different note I had to chew through my recent experience with that transphobe - and something I got locked
onto as something to write about - well, was the emotional side of it. But I didn't know how to properly write about
it.
Now, I'm not sure how clearly it'll come accross through the screen, but you can essentially see the same thing happening
there; And that although there is no real interaction between the two parties. The dynamics are still the same, essentially,
as I don't think that these people understand - well, it is as though they don't - that the thing before them is ... real.
Or whatever is outside their bubble. So, whether they yell at a camera - or at an actual trans person - to my understanding
doesn't make a real difference. Sure does interaction add a little bit to it, but we can here see someone talk themself into
a tantrum ... which actually begs the question for how a trans person could realistically interact with this situation.
Especially considering how violent the outburst becomes.
But what I want to focus on is the start of it. So, the dude learns that the woman has some "gender ambiguity" to herself.
Well, not really - which is kind of the point for keen observers - as he then moves on to "misgender" her (for all intents
and purposes a cis woman). So, based on nothing but a misconception (possibly an intentional one) - he changes into this
mode of forcibly declaring her to be man. Talking of her as such while - as he lets slip eventually: Fighting with words
rather than guns. And yea, I'm not sure if this is supposed to make me feel safer.
And it is this moment, where to me at least the facade of respect is dropped - and what I behold is someone aggressively
ignorant and willing to 'shove it down my throat' by all ("peaceful") means available. What that then creates/created in me
was a state of agitation. It's like a lot of stuff like bubbling to the surface. Or my state turning from water to boiling
water. To say that I had a hard time containing myself. Or as I think back, I understand that I lost my cools. And I get
the same vibes here. That scene of Tobey Maguire saying "you gonna cry?" with her trying to maintain composure - certainly
resonates with my experiences when faced with this, well, "existential stress". And sure. Us trannies aren't the only ones
to have ever experienced such. And perhaps to our benefit - we're now possibly getting a better deal than those that came
before us.
Now, she's being passive aggressive - I'd say - while the situation from there on out would be to counter that stress
through extroverting the lived experience. The thing being, that 'the other side' - as outlined before - is like ... unresponsive.
Dense as a brick, or equipped with the IQ of concrete. There is no word, no reasoning that would do. Any attempt at trying to
talk reason is only met with doubling down and tripling down.
So, if I said that I'm not comfortable - they might ask me what toilet I'm using. If turned their question for whether or not
I have two dads into implying that he might be gay, he'd ask me for whether or not I have a sister - because obviously he'd have
to ascertain straightness. Now, arguably I was lucky because the frame of my experience was some kind of safe space. That is
... it was left at an implied threat of violence. Explicitly stating that if the place were different ... .
And he wasn't alone. It's like a group thing; Which ... is what I saw as an angle of attack. Saying something like: nothing in
the head but a big mouth. So the real struggle is about swaying the public opinion or perception.
And to that end ... I want to focus more on how this shit makes me feel. I mean, when it's just one nightmare bill/law after
the other passed in a country across the ocean - I'm only indirectly phased by it. I have empathy for those that are affected;
It is somewhat unsettling to think that this is to what things have come - but now I can't shake that feeling that someone
might be there around the corner. Now when I hear people talk in a certain way, I listen more carefully. So, I'm more alert
and just overall more uncomfortable.
And that got me to think of an example. Imagine how you felt how a convicted pedo sex-offender got lose around your
neighborhood - if you had some underage daughters. It may not be the exact same thing; And I'm sure some would turn this
example back around at us; But I suppose it's similar enough.
As for accusing 'us' of being like this sex-offender, well - I think on the one hand we can relate to the feeling; But on the
other hand it's also just in their head! At that point everyone might be - and nobody is safe. And heck, if boys are being
raised to be like that dude; And I had daughter ... I'd not be worried of some sex-offender maybe on the loose - I'd just be
worried!
And yea, whatever might be funny about this ... it's ... maybe worth taking in as for a breath of relief or a carefree moment.
Because ... at the end of the day, living in fear isn't fun!
And yea, why all this?
Like ... what that dude moves on to say is that he loves ... being immersed, meeting different people, etc. - and yet it doesn't
take an actually real offense against his sensitivities for him to throw it all against the wall ... which is such an on point
highlight of this whole "discussion".
I mean, I'm sure that at the end of the day they want to convince us that they're the reasonable ones. Or pick someone who didn't
completely lose it just yet - at least not in public - and yet they ... just can't handle the real world.
And so for a bit of a closing statement I come back to an earlier point. The ... dang, what was the term I used, emotional core.
I mean, there possibly are republicans that believe in the good lie they're told - and they try to be reasonable and respectful;
And all the fault they carry is just being misinformed. So they think they're fighting the good fight. So with all the talk of
women being supposed to give birth and stay at home and do the cooking and the laundry and all that - they might just feel like
it's natural. Men wanting to feel manly - and women wanting to feel womanly. And within those confines - if a couple can consent
on those conditions, nobody is stopping them. But the very same talk fuels a rage. And sure - I guess ... any kind of talk may
have such potential. And yet is there a very explicit attitude in suppressing people. Bending them to their will. Insisting on
certain modes of behavior - which they would deem justifiable as they consider deviation from those demands to be crimes. The
crime of being offensive to their sensibilities. Or how to put it - I'm sure they can argue the same in response. But the idea
here - the mode, the goal, the incentive - isn't love or compassion; It's violence.