Purple Gas Light

So, apparently the thing I wrote yesterday didn't ... get received so well. And I am yet to figure out why that is ... exactly. Whatever the issue may be however, it got me angry - and I'm still in some kind of a bad mood over it.

But so I think I can say that the issue - well, is beyond my ability to fix. Maybe it was uncalled for; Maybe ... it didn't go into the "right" direction - though at the end of the day it's true. So, in as far as I don't know what people are wanting ... I'm left to assume that it's only a matter of ignorance.


Well - maybe it isn't the type of thing people want to be occupied with right now; And whatever the details of the issue may be, the emotional mess I'm left in ... it gets me to think of retribution or redemption; The two being somewhat similar right now.

The problem with the ignorant mind of course being, that it cannot be reasoned with. And ... while we're all ignorant from time to time - ordinarily it doesn't cause a lot of friction while the matters of life don't come into a lot of contact with these concerns. But ... that's also not really where we're at right now, generally speaking. Aren't we?
But - at any rate - I was thinking ... . The thing with deadlines is ... it seems ... that on the one side there are people who are way too used to stretching what should be allowed - and on the other side there are people who don't have that luxury. Now, whether it be justified or necessary or absolutely stupid ... that's ... neither here nor there. It is however that those on the one side of the issue would see their plea as justified versus that of the other - while, of course ... it isn't quite that simple. Well, but then again it is rather simple, still.

So for a moment; And here I don't really know specifics either; I thought it would be funny if ... the ship just left. I mean, that's like ... the classical deadline; And there really isn't much one could do about it. Though ... those days are past. On the one side there are those still dependent on keeping schedule - and on the other there are those that ... couldn't possibly be stranded anywhere on this planet. So it would seem. Unless they might, but ... in this day and age ... an age of tele-communication and high mobility - it's difficult.


And there I was, for a moment, under the impression that I'm in control of this ship. Whatever it may be. Something people rely on for some reason - that I could just ... make depart. Well, obviously it wouldn't be what I'm doing here for that isn't really going anywhere anytime soon ... . There's still a lot to do, although I would very much hope to do it ... under different conditions.

On a different, yet somewhat similar note, I was wondering: Thinking through what scripture I know ... prophecies ... there's ... stuff happening. And I ... I'm in there somehow. I used to think of it as simple. I'd ... figure stuff out, share what I got and things would be moving from there. But ... that's not really ... the situation we're in right now. Are we? At the very least is the matter of 'sharing' it a bit ... more complicated than I might have anticipated. And while I don't know how - as there's so far obviously also nobody who would drop me a hint - things are yet somehow happening. So for a moment I'd put myself on the other side of the story. My story. To recognize and acknowledge ... as it were ... when I've got gotten. So-to-speak. I mean, I'd choose to ignore it, tell myself that it's all part of the plan - time and time again going through the same motions; Getting used to things to find that nothing changed etc. - and somehow hope for an opening. As, I don't see much of a different choice I got.
But there's now things that ought to happen. I'd figure that once the word spread around change would come inevitably; But ... what if this is me getting it backwards? I mean, I suppose it's more complicated when minding all the details - but, I don't really have access to those details now, do I?
But the idea were that maybe there first has to be change - for me to be able to share my story. And what can I do with this now? I don't know! Sucks to be me I guess.


Except ... well. Maybe this ship is really just a deadline that I might be setting. Give or take. I mean - it's ... not that I wouldn't have tried earlier - but more like there was yet stuff to do. And on the other hand I've now gotten somewhat used to acting a fool here - where, to be honest I couldn't tell if it were time just yet.

I mean - God seems to have plans but usually ... I don't know much about it. But right now I'm also in a bit of a mood that ... would have me shut the door, as it were. What door? Well ... the hatches to the ship. Like ... this writing is me closing the door - and by the time this goes out ... it's done.

But what's the footprint of it? I can't tell. I suppose somewhere something ... is waiting, like ... lurking in the shadows. But given that I don't know any of it - I also can't really tell ... . But, at the very least ... I'm changing. And that may also ... inevitably ... be part of the schedule. So - is this ... a thing? Well - who knows?


But yea, that's that! I mean ... it felt kind of good to write this. Whatever it's about ...

So, yea - I think it's time! I've done so for years!

By the way - I ... also kind of removed something from yesterday's writing - though by then I also had totally forgotten of the 'unworthy' condition.