I'm a Barbie Girl ... or something

I mean ... China.

China?

Welll ... China. China is weird - and it seems like I'd have to be there to understand what China is, actually. To, effectively, 'taste' the propaganda and the brainwash - so I could more effectively speak to it. Now, I certainly take Gnosis as a universal cure, but ... so in the sense that there's a raw foundation through which we are capable of producing these respective "anti-bodies".

The same is happening here in the west, where the modern shapes that Enlightenment takes on are mostly apparent through anti-capitalistic sentiments. And sure, that's not just a Gnosis thing. It shouldn't be too difficult these days to basically "invent Marxism" as it were. Especially since there's rhetoric to be inspired from, I'd say.

However - it gets difficult, when taking these ideas to think about China. That, because China is itself much of a Capitalistic Country that does however try to "do right by the people" - as it were, at least in the sense of socialistic policies. So, the same kind of critique one might have for the USA wouldn't apply to China anymore - like, in terms of on the one hand side common-wealth programs and on the other perhaps a committed Government. And I'd argue that this is per chance how someone would become a Tankie. To say, that China does or did it right, "not to say that they're without flaw" - which is ... well. I mean, if you're a westerner, I'd argue it's pretty much inconsequential. And yea, speaking of flaws - everyone has those.
It would be that while living where we live - one is a lot more pre-disposed to take certain things for granted. And to recognize the actions of a Government as Evil while you recognize the people around you as Good - that's actually even some kind of Mental Gynmastics.

Especially then in Democracies, things are increasingly difficult to look through, because "the Government" isn't ... like ... a Monolith. The healthier a Democracy, the more it is subject to the competition of ideas - and so it becomes more difficult to "spot the Evil". And so, this blame would then, I'd argue, fall onto individual parties. Where, if you only have two ... you probably get to competition over which one.

In gaming

Well, there was this whole thing I wrote about "Gamers" - to just somehow capture my frustration with "the people" as it also factors into my frustration with 'the Industry' - while the story to be told was effectively this:

Large Video Game developers have co-opted behavioral psychology in order to "create Fun" - Blizzard (Activision) perhaps being the one most in the spotlight. And there was a time - basically following the success of Starcraft 2 and with games such as Overwatch and Heroes of the Storm looming on the Horizon - that people were speaking of "Blizzard Magic". Saying that they just knew what they were doing. And in my opinion that was true - before they started to try and 'create Fun' in like ... a petri dish.

Arguably because they weren't as much trying to 'create Fun' as they were trying to 'create Money' - or ... "M.C. create Money". McCreate? Well ... but also I'd argue were they foregoing the creative process of making a piece of art, to ... instead engineer a "Video Game".

The consequences of this would be these ... "Fun Experiences" meant to "keep the player engaged" - as by so abusing behavioral psychology to that end. And what would further help this, was what I'd describe as a 'creative drought' that would lead to a general lack of options. However ... more to the point ... would a person then find themselves engaged in these games - as effectively dredging away in the bowels of one of those "Fun Games" where they'd be slowly digested for what potential money could be squeezed from that engagement.
Then, people would effectively wake up to that - eventually manage to escape - as to then possibly see it for what it was: A trap!

Now then - the "Gamersphere" is like ... split into two groups - around this matter. There are those still happily getting digested - and those that have (begun to) develop:ed defensive mechanisms and strategies. One such strategy would be to just avoid anything Activision Blizzard does these days.
And this also lends itself to the kind of "PTSD" that has crept up in "online speak". Like, some people might laugh at the idea of developing PTSD from videogames or being terminally online - and sure - PTSD is effectively its own beast. So, maybe it's the wrong term - but there still is 'post traumatic stress' - in the sense that once we do adapt to "trauma" in ... like ... real-time ... we will recognize that through a shift in perception or reaction onto things. So people may talk about triggers - per chance - that rather than just engaging the individual into whatever slog was going on - trigger the individual to maintain distance.

As a Doll

Watching the Barbie movie - I found some kind of mirror held to my face. Well - as the movie said: If it was an actual mirror I could see my face. So, it wasn't actually a mirror - it's more ... that I find the part of 'identifying as a Doll' somewhat cringe these days.
I mean ... there is that scene in the movie where Barbie and Ken come rollerscating into the real world - and that scene is a whole ass trigger for me. I mean, maybe not in the negative - but, in terms of expression ... what I find is that it triggers a reaction. And so when I try to express myself, or just think about ways in which I might, I do find that there are possible reactions I want to avoid.

So, that now isn't as much of a 'me' thing - as it is a 'me versus the world' thing. And sure - in a sense that can easily lead us back into the "rape culture" discussion - round about who is to be blamed, what should one do - etc.. That is however not my concern here.
But ... while we're at it?

I mean - OK. Here's a thing: If you're trying to engage with the opposite or same Sex in respects to intimacy - you're doing so with some intent of specificity. That is called Taste, for instance. So, generally we try to look good or appealing - while being mindful of some kind of hope. Be it expectation or wishful thinking; It doesn't matter. The point is - you're not trying to send an open invitation to the entire population of the Planet.
As it would however function like that, you have 2 1/2 reactions to any kind of advances. Positive, Negative and somewhere in the middle. So, at any point in time - is there that segment of the whole, to which you'd react in a way that doesn't correspond to how you express yourself passively, by ... how you look or what you wear.

Outside of that, I suppose it's also normal to want to look good. The issue is the same as before, except that there isn't any specific intent that shouldn't really be anyone's business anyway.

But now, to be fair, I don't really know what I'm on about.
I mean, on the one side I don't think I could pull off certain looks anyway; While on the other I do still like to dress fashionably. My problem here I think mostly pertains to my virtual presentation - where similar to me IRL I'm particular about NOT leaning into the whole Sex Doll thing. And whether or not I should, is actually nothing I'm particularly certain about.

I mean, perhaps I like to hide (some of) my femininity - and therefore have problems connecting with certain parts of me - though on the flipside am I not motivated to connect with them; Except that sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on something.

Anyhow. I guess ... one issue happens to be that by how we dress we also express belonging. And by how we grow, we grow familiar with things and in that regard we further express ourselves in such a way, that we're more likely to engage on grounds of familiarity rather than strangeness.
And I guess that's all I have to say for now.

Well - sometimes my mind just gets wizzed away into a state of internal paralysis ... and ... I suppose that means as much as that I don't really want to talk about these things; Like ... "whatever potentials lay barren" I don't care about nor do I want to care about them - as more to the point: What matters is what's in front of us.

Real Perspectives

With all this - there are two major problems. The one is that we aren't omniscient - and the other is that even with omniscience, we ... there isn't really a word for it, but, it's a wisdom problem. I'd say that we aren't 'omnipresent' - in the sense that 'infinite wisdom' is a matter of 'omnipresence' - like, in regards of focus - but anyhow.
Still is "the collective" - in an abstract way - concerned of developing a best possible understanding. In an abstract, as this 'collective desire' is still a matter of each individual - who in turn has their own interests ontop of their own range of perception. But so we're talking about "good faith" versus "bad actors" - or whichever combination of good and bad over faith and acting.

On good terms however - any individual would try to do their best, based on their individual capacities, to engage with the world - where those with the given interest would try to communicate their understanding; As for those that are curious to learn about such things. Over debate or conversation we'd try to iron out the flaws - as to further facilitate the best possible decisions going forward.

Due to Captial interests however - and China sure exhibits a lot of those as well - all that is getting skewed in favor of Capitalistic exploitation. If we let it. And, yea - I've finished watching Raising Dion - and for all its flaws - there still is that scene, it's the final or second last episode of the second season, of that Board Meeting at BIONA, which is just ... yes! Thank You! If only!


And that's that!