Key problems

Uhm ... well. Maybe I suffer some kind of Trauma - where I so, on a subconscious level perhaps, internalized things - things that would happen with some frequency - or things that would just 'be' - so that I in a reactive sense expect certain things to happen. These expectations then could take shape in form of fears; Giving me the impression that things still are the way they used to be. And in response I might take them seriously and figure out what might be the cause.

Either way was I today working on water-proofing the lockout - and along those lines trying to figure out how to undo changes that could have been made without undoing anything I did. And just previously I learned of one thing that might be one of the last loopholes. That is, to abuse my own mental state - via some ETP technique - to get me to do or undo certain things; So, somewhat subconsciously.
That further relates to a certain kind of abuse that I've been worried about for quite some time now. And ... I think at this point it's still a bit too early to say anything with certainty - but, in as far as I can, I'm working on it.