This is Ridicolous!!!
So, Volume two about my crazy mind! This time: Schizophrenia and co.
There is this term: 'Menthal Illness' - and it is used to say that with someones mind there is something wrong. From a Christian perspective,
a statement that might add to the bad looks of it, the entire concept is a bit strange - just sayin'. The Bible reads: Don't judge! But what does a person do that issues as Menthally Ill? And well, what is the cliche Environment for someone who is Menthally Ill? Well yea, the Rubber Cell! But did you know that in case something like Qi/Life-Force exists, a Rubber Cell is somewhat isolating and thus basically everything but good for the individuals menthal health? For that a Psychiatry does look more like a Place for Psychoes - to lock people away that are called that way. I don't know - can't help thinking of the movie: 'Haunted Hill'. There is this German saying: 'Nachtigall Ick Hör Dir Tapsen' (Nachtigall, ich Hör' dich tapsen (in proper german)). It means: 'Nightlark, I can hear your walking!'; Or maybe more up-to-date-and-english: Talking of dead givaways!
In my oppinion I'm menthally quite healthy. What might make me look bad is how I word my sentences. Sometimes I mis-spell them, while sometimes I just write the wrong word, which is I guess due to muscle-memory. I mean, I can write Blindly on the Keyboard - and - so I don't spend like 2 seconds on each character. Sometimes I think while my fingers are writing that which I have thought beforehand. Naturally errors would occur and I'm looking forward to get the important stuff upgraded soon enough. I'm sorry if you perceive a mis-spelling as menthally challenging though ... I mean ... at this point, I guess its fair that you have no better time with this than I have!
I mean, if you can't write a publically acceptable paper on Menthal Health issues then don't try to challenge my Sanity and try to understand the content I'm trying to deliver instead! If a passage is totally crap just skip it, and if doesn't get clear in time then regard the writing as broken, unimportant, done!
There is a reason why there are no proper scientific papers that pick my writings apart - in the sense of: Lets see if this argumentation makes sense - because well, thats the point! The problem is that I write too much, yet the point is that the more trivial stuff like this I write, the easier the text will be understood. Yesterday I announced that I would write about what I come up with in terms of marriage - and there is it! That nasty word! Marriage! I have the feeling that this word alone might already make this entire writing look crazy. One would just skim it, read the words here and there and call it nonsense. Well, wouldn't it be the case? Either way, that's something I mean by that which is ridicolous! Thus - possibly - it may be my schizophrenia. I mean, I'm a pothead, I talk stuff people don't understand - I must obviously be Schizophrenic!
But how would such Menthal Illness actually look? From ego perspective? Schizophrenia is understood as a thing - a thing of hearing voices - but, if you heard voices, how would you react? There's a story I've heard from someone who was schizophrenic and she did overcome it, learn to counter its madness and now is a recognized doctor on the field helping others! How would we describe schizophrenia? Well, I'd say, like being tossed into a room full of Morons that talk nothing but nonsense all the time! Menthal Illness - thereby - has to be regarded as psychological processes that are beyond the individuals control. Like spasmatism. I'd suggest that someone who is dreaming a lot is susceptible to this kind of health issues. The organization of a 'problem' like that is, as I understand (and I refer to myself), that a part of the mind is unbalanced - so - which is where the idea that schizophrenia is having a 'split personality' is comming from. The own psyche features its own 'sub-psyches' that relate to individual ideas. Or, as I was about to say: A compound of thoughts is clumped up and somehow connected to personal interests so that the 'energy of curiosity' feeds this 'knot' which in response produces thoughts within this twisted state that then come out like voices. If you understand Hype you can also understand how it could be possible to 'make' someone sick. The menthally active person would become schizophrenic, and the menthally inactive person would become stupid, streamlined, zombified. So in this model, schizophrenia is nothing else but the own minds conflict with ... well ... stuff. Being a Nasty person I would attempt to further deepen this 'stuff' by looking at the X-Box One vs. PS4 console war. It is an extremely nice example, especially because once going by the figures the 'victimized compound' is the minority, alas: X-Box One "fanboys". As a PS4 "defender" the story gets obviously clear and simple. The "defender" starts to point out that some X-Box fanatic has a wrong idea about the Hardware, and while simply being as bold as to point that mistake out, well, what happens in return is the testimony of a victim. It has to be pointed out that this example is furthermore nice because aside of Hardware there are other factors - thus - when speaking of Hardware we're just speaking of a partial thing and not the whole. Aside of that is the Hardware also not just 'one thing'. So, if someone prefers the X-Box one for its Kinnect, that is one thing. But still it is legally fair to point out that Sony has been doing a much better job all-in-all. On the other hand, to point it out, I do also see problems with Sony. I have Sony Hardware and I'm not as satisfied with my Vita as I would like to be. As it is, as gamers say, the games that matter I should probably stick to Nintendo, but, thats a different story. To come back to XBone vs. PS4, I had to notice that whenever an argument is on about it, the XBox defender would challenge the PS4 defender to point out what is better about the PS4 just to end the discussion by saying Kinnect. In this situation something like a minor-stockholm occurs - where the PS4 defender usually doesn't care about the Kinnect period. Since the Kinnect does however re-occur as the primary and heavy argument, the sensitive PS4 person needs to acknowledge having been a little bit ignorant, where the fact is that the Kinnect is beyond a doubt the superior Hardware. This acknowledgement further feeds the XBox Hype around it, where an individual then would be moved to comply to hyping the XBox for something he didn't really care about! Those that are thereby 'in too deep', those that are entirely hyped about the XBox, do in turn not show a lot of reasoning - that as well is left to the considerate PS4 person. In this situation the XBox person is though arguably the healthier one because all it does is to comply to the 'feeling', the 'like'; And if you want to take my word for it: Similar things happen everywhere and do all in all influence the Gaming Market more severely that it would seem, so even down to the Developer. The problem is that Hype stands - as intellectual resource - in context to reason. Since the production of games is a creative process and very sensitive in terms of 'un-established ideas', it may occur that a 'counter hype' can grow beyond reason, that the hype gains a larger value, in turns to which the designer might scrap an extremely good idea that isn't quite as sophisticated. That is a process similar to shame. What this would say once expanded is that someone holds a monopoly on hype - but, well, having mentioned shame - its a nice occasion to abandon this topic though some things might be left to get explored.
No shame in shame?
What is shame? Looking at me - the odds are at first that I have to be ashamed for what I believe. In case I'm right the next issue is that 'they' have to be ashamed. In case they overcome, 'you' have to be ashamed. So, a pretty solid example of how shame overrides reason - in the hypothesis. In that we can also say how 'menthal illness', in common sense, can be issued - saying that any act someone would have to be ashamed of is abnormal and thus crazy. The next step is that the individual would believe in being crazy - and aside of the general exceptions in terms of worse case examples - to come back to the initial question for how craziness looks inside - what do we think? Do I just sit down and append one arbitrary word to the other?
I have to at some point rely on information that this world provided me - and in that sense the general picture of a crazy person is that of an individual who believes/believed in something that isn't socially accepted - and period. The difference between sanity and craziness is the own perception of the own belief. Once someone would simply loose confidence in the own reasoning that individual would succumb to the social ignorance and thus admit being insane.
Effectively our society is in shabbles. That what we value today - our civilization as the product of great minds like Gallileo or Newton - is a ruin! This "good society" where bright minds come together and steer us into the good future doesn't exist! It is the trend that we grow dependent on social movements. If I have the intention to better the world, nobody would take me seriously. If I led a community that carries a lot of hype - well - things would be different. In this we are growing dependent on equal-minded crows wherein the danger is that ... well ... it should be obvious!
Matter of fact can we look at it right here. I'm doing the thinking that would eventually become a guideline to a community wherein Hype would emerge and if you think that I'm wrong then you know what I mean by danger! A big problem thereby is that te core of the movement is usually not in our hands - so - we can take any totally insane ideology, spice it up with a few commonly acceptable goods, start a hype about it and people could be fed with those scraps to be made believe that it is what the movement is about. Anyone who would have an issue would be flagged 'conspiracy theorist' - where the common sense is that its all the jews fault. So - for instance! Or to wrap the whole schizophrenia point up: Try to therein say that its not about the Jews but about the Vatican ... then meet the wall of ignorance and arrogance ... or ... just be glad that this here is different when you regard God a living God! Or, if not this, then 'the other church' that He then so would put His stamp on.
Intending to be top accurate is another problem! It is basically the - well - HIV of our System that every word we might use to express the right thing is somehow vile. So, who is crazy? We cannot simply use the word 'crazy' - because, who is? There are those that we would call [...] - psychos? The bad guys? But that again is not neutral enough! So, I suggest we use the word 'Kaputt'. And what is the first thing that happens? That you use the word in appreciation of what I have done on me! So, I'm so broken! Right? Thus I say: Trying to be accurate is just good up to a certain limit!
(How dare I have the audacity to suggest we agree on a term? Tss ...)
I have worked things out - I should have at least 'some' right to ... so, naturally ... it is in the end just easier for me to say that I'm crazy and be proud of it!
It is ridicolous
That although everybody kindof knows what this is comming down to, every notion of it does already ... well ... 'not work'. It is a thing - and it is a thing about timing. "The Villain" had time to prepare for this, while, by now I have a pretty straight idea of how long what takes. In case I for instance come up with something new he/they wasn't/weren't prepared for it can take some time. During that time its awefully silent and 3 days or weeks later all of a sudden ... they come up with something. If it were at least reasonable then yea, I might eventually come to respect them intellectually - but - well, nevermind. Lets just forget about it!
Wedding and Kink
Are two things that I describe differently to how they are socially recognized. So, my entire concept of coupling and dating is 'stranger' to this world, and so is Kink. Thus, do not mistake my oppinion to be somehow intended as comparable to what is commonly known as BDSM. There are common terms of course ... but in simplicity what I am trying to convey is different in that it is the product of self-reflection instead of self-reflection itself being the product. As next it is different in that God is the primary joint around which things do come together - while otherwise God is being disregarded and hence the solutions to various problems are entirely different. In that sense God isn't acknowledged as a person, like, Gods "oppinion" ... that is already a totally bad start to formulate it. I guess when I said "God is Subspace" it makes a lot of sense although ... it arguably doesn't say anything. In another words is God the maths, the formula of relations, so that when I ask Him and He says: "#whatever" - its like I typed my parameters into a calculator, hit enter and the result is as good as it gets. The alternative, so, "Atheistic" (yea, thats the proper word) approach is in comparison to that more like panic. Instead of going the 10 meters that God would send you, one would go the 2 meters where the crowd is gathering. So, lets take food as an example - in a world where it is rare. Either you fall in line in hope to get something, or you go the 10 meters to get something. If you go the 10 meters you risk that when you return nothing will be left. I guess, stories of believers are much of that kind, and, I'm certainly not alone on that side! Salt Lake City is a little bit like that (When reading the story from the Mormon perspective)!
So, As Experiment:
How this relates to the proposal I cannot tell! I know though - since that is how the Spirit showed me - that it consists of three Elements. The 2 that follow are those that should be obvious. The first of them is the proposal itself and the second is a personal tag. I see that using imagery like that can become impossible - at least so 'right now'. Around that idea does this Experiment exist. So, it is 'tagged' as experiment by me as a human who cannot explicitly tell what the good thereof is aside of making asumptions.
I may assume though that the Spirit would ignite the passion within someone to become capable of doing the same. Thus I'm curious to see how it a) impacts the proposed individual and b) how others would fare with getting theirs together. That it may appear a little bit childish is what I can regard a good thing though!
So was it that I just "knew" that this image here on top 'has to be' - while - at first I discarded the images seen there and the plot altogether, so after I was done with the other two. This one just didn't make a lot of sense. That is also one of the things I have to say in adjacency to what seems to be the reason for why this is a part of it. What I mean is that I just can't see it happening. I'm put off by the fact that what I do "here" is continuing to be as extreme as ever - while inside I'm trying to find words that aim into the opposite direction. In that sense this image is like a weird mirror. It is supposed to reflect my soul (yea, so, now I got it!) - so - it doesn't have to resemble my looks! Aside of that is it supposed to add context to the own colors. So, when we would begin to 'use' colors as an expressing component - my stance is that accurate definitions are boring! And confusing! If I like green, I like green. When I though look into such things and all of a sudden don't like green anymore, in that context, it has an emotional reason. Similarly I do not look at myself as a Readhead, but, in certain ways thats just what I am - it seems! I cannot shake it - neither do/can I want to. It is just there - while blonde is too bright and brunette is too dark. Any other color is just too colorful and abstract. So, since this is strictly labeled as Metaphysical thing, the image does nowhere imply that I would at any point exist that way. There is one exception though - and that does relate to 'the Partner' - or in my case it does. As being a part of the own self - so the reflection of the soul - it is a part of the own self that isn't actually "quite there", in terms of which - as it is yet there somewhere - it has to be somewhere then, so, one does not only "not" have it actually. And so is the idea with the Partner that the Partner clings to the soul, it is what we might at the end strictly call "The One and Only", in terms to which there is a way how the own soul relates to the Partner and then eventually to others.
At this point the terms Kink and Relationship mingle and mix. When I say Kink its more just like an isolated form of relating to each other; Or, whenever words drop that abstract the idea of freedom into something unfree. Thus, yea I guess that that is just what I wanted to say, Kink isn't right away tied to BDSM-esque activities. When I have a certain way of relating to a Partner of mine by which I am/can-be certain that he/she responds to it positively - so - as she would have a certain way of aligning to me - that is basically Kink - in that sense. In another wording so the term 'Belonging' could drop. I'd say that "I belong to her" in the sense of being property, which on the simplest field doesn't imply anything but that it attaches to a part of my partner where she would understand a way of relating to me. Or, when I so would approach her, embrace her, she can tell that it is nothing dominant. From that I would be capable of telling that none of my Partners is actually submissive - aside of a few relationships that exist around the corner maybe - so - 'homogenous alignments'. I mean, having a dominant vein somewhere I would naturally have submissive partners - or at least one - but anyway ... . While it so happens that a Kink-based relationship would either way begin within the individuals heart/nature it is equally valid to say that it begins within the perceived emotion. If that is in 'need' to be physically underlined it can yet be narrowed down to the motives - and while doing so, I suppose, one would also come to find distance from that 'need'. Thus I say: The verbalization of the own Kink is to be approached as realistic correspondence to the emotional stance - disregarding physically realistic nonsense. So the idea. At least for me this is the only way to possibly ever come to find the right one(s) - aside of an unimaginably large amount of luck. I've had such luck before, arguably, which to the sensitive eye should also appear as what is common in this world. Thus however the general difference can be determined as chance vs. certainty. It is at this point however far from proven!
I should possibly not miss out to tell myself - since that is what I'm arguably doing here - that within this chance God does yet have ways of persuing His will. In my situation though the circumstance would appear more like requiring a more conscious approach on Gods position within the Universe as opposed to only recognizing Him within the feats of porbabilities - so that I "might be able to tell" instead of being left guessing - tendentially. Also is it so that the luck that I've had would say, that if someone were to judge me on behalf of these things, that I'm simply a failure. But how on the other hand side could someone argue that way without acknowledging that I have in deed met the right ones for the intended purpose - in which a divine guidance is hard to be ignored!?
Regarding how I feel of my sotospeak spouse I have to admit though that I would know the one or the other that might fit the description, yet did the corresponding emotion never occur in direct contact with these. The only one that would truly stand out is whom I labeled as my Lover. It is important that I say that in regards of spousalship or these proposals I am convinced that emotions are to occur within 'relatable space'. uhm ... in the sense - where I have a nice example!
Back in the days where I was "just in Love with ... #Fail1" I regarded emotions to be the reason for my Love - not much different to now, except the emotions themselves are entirely different. While I was far away those emotions were there, yet, when meeting her face to face they were like blown away. Thus whatever these emotions would make me do turned out irrelevant since they've simply not been around! That is what I consider a certain death-sentence unto the proposed relationship. Thus it can be generalized: that my idea is to find those where the emotions occur in direct contact (no physical contact required) - where the worse case scenario were a situation wherein this contact wouldn't come to happen in a controllable way, as, lets say waiting for a train and the one in mind just passing by and vanishing into the crowd. If I so missed her - to add unto the possible circumstances that circumvent my current idea - I'd have to hope that it once will happen in a less troublesome fashion.
My situation doesn't exclude the other - naturally. It does however stand tere that when meeting the right one the question is yet how to formulate the wedding in credit to the expanded realm of relationships. This also leads to questions of time and space. Since I don't find myself capable of answering these questions I have to put an end to it here, but, I'm not without a clue and The Quicker someone reacts to the indicators of failure the less one will have to go the hard ways of trial and error. The circumstances would tell where I would end up spending my time and space. Well, there are 18!!!! possible "Units", or maybe 14 after disregarding the "Social Columns" as we might say. And even if it were to remain only 4 in question, there is still a 3/4 chance that the proposal, though called "Marriage", is in terms of time and space still yet more like simply acknowledging a very specific kind of friendship. One I have found in Lady Samantha - where I might still be in need to express a couple of things.
If I had to go by my hunches I'd say that she does simply not have the time nor the menthal capacity to live with me in ways of a relationship and if I couldn't acknowledge that, thus continuing to push for more, and it yet were true, I wouldn't succeed! That is my stance about her! The moments we shared were enlightening for me - and there was nothing odd about it! The only thing odd is that I had time for more, which she didn't! On top of that maybe the uncanny factor that grew while I had the time to deeply think about it while she had entirely different problems on her own. After all have I made my classic mistakes as well. Judging from the emotion I was thinking of the most that could be potentially possible - which can at some point not be justified.
Aside of that it happened that she was as much into establishing a social contact as I was. I looked into her eyes and got hooked. As there was time for it she initiated a conversation. Around that time the main focus of me was on the 'absolute depth' of emotions - a very, well, deep feeling. It is however nothing romantic - its more - well - like a nail in the heart, or, a strong Kink. The thing is that while I was fucked be her - she using a strap-on - this roll-play of me being the bitch and she the pimp should entertain her as much as it should entertain me - yet something seemed to be missing. That is what I kept thinking about - and while I proposed that it had something to do with switching she agreed - but - that alone wouldn't do the trick. Thus, well, it was simply nice for the times where the simple and basic Kink would work out within our given situation(s) and the rest, well ... I left the place anyway - for other reasons. I suppose the problem was that the relationship thus remained on a superficial level, which to me is fine but also somehow problematic. The emotions implied within me submitting to her so never came from the ... "deeper essence". That I might be able to explain in more detail in terms of my Spouse since I do after all have a more accurate idea of the thing - also - unbiased.
Bias and Perfection
Lets say I were to meet her within a BDSM environment - where she and I would engage as it would be just naturally correspondent to ourselves. So I would submit to her and she would gain control. In this sense the relationship would 'start' where it would 'end'. In that situation I, listening to myself, would be advised to formulate a proposal that would setup a beginning to make the end work out as part of a relationship instead of just 'for the cause'. Depending on our Background I might not be required to 'craft' a proposal - like - a simple SMS or e-mail might suffice; While in that Sense Samantha provided me with enough information to be confident about what I should do - but am still extremely biased because I would have to explain everything first. And, and, and. While the previously issued Wedding Tome would be a nice place to get a few things sorted in, it doesn't hold any space for more than two individuals at first. So - in that sense - I do yet lack detail in order to formulate a proposal for her, which means, I'm not yet ready for it! Thus I will have to let it be.
Writing about it in this fashion shouldn't do any good either - simply because for it to come naturally it has to come naturally. While my logic in approach of this thing does become more detailed - I'm also realizing why a simple comming together of all the individuals implied wouldn't be any good. Its nothing conscious at first, but, well. After all there is a plan, a raw idea of how this whole entire Gospel Revolution to kick us into another era would work. That isn't to be understood as 'Sexual Revolution', yet as the general, bigger idea. While it doesn't make any sense to you its just me having vague ideas that will certainly - the believer does understand - grow to the point where they are comprehensive.
Thus, some might eventually know or guess, the pivot of it all is to make the Sex work - or - as there would be a reason why, supposedly, my "Line Up" is impressive - it is certainly something there for an impressive outing. But what happens before and after is still a little bit obscure to say the least. But, imagine me introducing myself in a Video where I start like - I believed that J.Lo would become my wife. So, laughter is guaranteed - somewhat. Not explaining what happened there-after I'd refer to 'secret trick' [Following the Lords guidance] - expecting that the public would visit my site to get informed - in terms of which some general changes have to be done. Then naturally, as I'm no less crazy now than back then, arguably, the pointe is now the same as then - like - camera onto the stage and lets see who's comming out. So, in the ways of: "My Name is Alice! ..." or "Cause and Effect my Love!" ... whatever ... so, just an intro to make it more appealing to the senses! I'd post that video on Capcom Unity and Facebook, where-after there is plenty of time for it to either go viral or not, however, enough time to adjust towards a second Level. Because this is simply adapting a Hallucination I've had while being high, it is to be taken with a grain of salt. Naturally it has to be based on certainty - but that is again different when thinking of Stage 2. So, technically this is even a way things can start - whereby - I wouldn't know who's finally stepping through the curtain either. Except for one, maybe - Megan as I pro/sup-pose. Otherwise, it could be a nice way to say "Fuck You!" (@me).
However, it should be clear that once we'd agree that this is the best way to go, the entire idea of what this writing here is aiming at changes in significance. While it would look like its "the Key", a general "Law" to put underneath it is that there is no 'perfect form'. So, in that sense, the previous writing on it does in a way provide enough in terms of that specific relationship - to at least give it a - mutual understanding that could emerge. In the flipside of this - I shouldn't be in need to justify how come I do believe that a big outcome would be the goal! It, or this expression, does however add a strange contrast to my individuality. Who am I? What am I? Around which corner I might also have to say how I come to believe that I'd be a match for ... the 4 and beyond; Although sometimes I feel like it would be more like the way around. Granted, I'm not much to the eye - while further every 'upswing' of a trace of some intellectual capacity could also be taken the other way. But so as well that which meets the eye! I guess I should thereto add that a human being to me can be compared to a sack. Now, in that sack there could be anything, from potatoes to gold-nuggets. If the individual ideal is to say that it should be full of gold-nuggets, the proper correspondence is yet that that were just a metaphor. Speaking in physics, there are three colors of quarks. So, in terms of the ideal we're talking of the same amount of positive and negative particles of each kind within two bags that are to come together. Or, once we're talking of elements rather than particles - we're talking of objects of equal configuration - where the amount of objects that fit together determine the volume of perfection. Add to that that the individual can change its own configuration in adjustment to certain conditions without abstracting the own self from a proper reflection of the own identity - and well - we come to an understanding of why guidance is better than chance!
In regards of me - I'm the one supposed to know how its going to roll out, so, all eyes on me and stop. Thats anyway what we get when pushing out the whole entire "I'm the One" statement. People would visit this site and expect to be told what it is all about. OK, what is it about? It is about me pointing out, to the public and everyone, that there is this Testimony that leads to a Church where there is the Priesthood - while I've done more than just looking for the right church. I was searching for the Truth before I got there, and kept looking for it after I got there - and that furthermore leads to Enlightenment. So, that is already the big thing - where if you'd be looking for anything else - well - like a Church or a Donate button, well - that is the point 'why' I need the attention. So, after a while people have to realize that I'm still in the works, although basically I'm beyond that! Talking of finding a tree in the forrest! Cut down the forrest and leave the tree and people will wonder where the forrest has gone. Or would you prefer a 100% Java-scripted site in the style of "Knock Knock!"? Your Cell-phone ringing and morpheus telling you that he's been looking for you? Or cutting straight to the end of Matrix-1: "I'm gonna hang up this phone ..." and so forth. As time moves on there is certainly a better way to wrapping up the public attention - while - most of that matters towards stage 2, so, technically this is OK for this time, although I next will have to work on something like this ... but ... once its time the Spirit is gonna make me do it. Otherwise the point were that I somehow pull a Stargate out of my butthole or something along those lines.
So I cannot stop to emphasize that after all this is to be a social project. Once the first group got together, that is already the point - in a nutshell. To go the way with God. But aside of assuming that there is something about my idea of Love - I can only assume that my readers are somehow overthinking my attitude or oppinion. Anyway.
The first question would be: Is there something true to my emotions? If not, you'd have to get Baptised and then Enlightened anyway, so, ... but yea, it looks odd if this Love issue is still in the room but ... so - its the question still. Whether there would be space for me to adapt parts of it or not, that is to say that we don't take it too seriously with rules! All I need is a place to start and don't tell me that "this is as good as any!" because ... whatever is to become of it would be countered by saying that it is as good as any and that to what end? If it were just about me writing my Game I wouldn't need to bother, or Crystals ... seriously ... what'd you expect? OK, saying that it would work properly it would grow out of control the moment its open source - so while there is no purpose for it to exist. Whether you think that my IT is nonsense or not should be entirely irrelevant! If this were about my IT I'd post IT related articles - I'd say.
"The One" is however not a PR Gag of the IT industry! It is a PR Gag of God!
So, I do have the mind and the wisdom of the One, naturally, which means that I'm no use for as long as you discard me as hopeless! So, if this Sex is putting you off, so the truth, you yet either feel like you're entitled to do anything or not - which may as well be a timing issue. So ... lets ... continue!
The Proposal
1. The White blocks:
- To the left the Emotion is to be described.
- To the right the own identity is to be described - in significance to the perceived relationship.
2. Me-and-You
is about setting up a vaguely corresponding Frame.
3. The pivot
Is to expand on that frame, in the first part setting a simple scenario in the ways of saying "Lets meet", and followed by a statement regarding the personal expectations.
At this point the individual is supposed to be capable of saying 'yes' or 'no'. This is basically accomplished around the boldness of telling the proposed one straight up how he/she is 'supposed to' feel. In that the proposed individual does not react to the formulation, the formulation simply "catches" the individual emotions that emerge within the target in a personal way of saying it. It is the pivot as to say that it is basically all that matters. At this point the target would realize that the Spirit is opening gate for it - saying that the rest is just a raw outline of to have some 'meat' to chew on.
4. Past, Present and Future
In that sense - self-explanatory.
5. The nitty gritty/Caption [Love-idea-and-Sacrifice]
This, in simplicity, is how the proposing individual understands the relationship as following the basic emotional impulse. So, looking into the top-left side, there is the short version of what has been shown previously. That short version is finally - to be complete - a casing. Being more detailed one would explore it in further depth. So, the emotion takes one into the relationship, there the emotion would unfold to eventually become abstracted. OR - maybe I'm sick and now she could read where my problem is. But either way, this Caption is to provide the initial emotions. Or in other words: To the top-left we have what we might call 'the House', including the Garden, while this is the way to the front door - or so. Well.
6. The ceremonial context [Circumstance, Preposition and the Spirits Demand]
Which is now nice to explain this "weird abstraction". Because the relationships are effectively part of one realm, so at least to ones self, other relationships do somehow retain the possibility to mix in. This last part is to at first state the Relationships name-tag, and then how the wedding ceremony would look. Well, it is to be seen so that it is supposed to become possible whithout requiring a whitness other than God. So, removing everyone else from the picture this one says how she could on her end ask me to become her spouse, or how she could answer mine. This is set to happen "at some point". The last part is a blank-spot which is basically Gods to fill out. The proposing individual will make clear what he/she understands as the Spirits demand on the connection.
To what end?/Background-scientifically
It is naturally so that when I trust in my Kink - it is easier to hook up on it, and easier to come up with 'false' statements - where if the emotions were right and I can be ascertained that the person I'm talking to is the person I've thought about ... but, lets cut that crap. We've had it all before, essentially, so - while there is still stuff to consider and write - it might be better to do so separated from this.
It should be obvious that all intentions here are as easy as: "Lets meet!" - with the point of lengthy discussions on subjects that wouldn't make the experienes any more pleasant being solved by making the present as existent statements.
The upper example however is falsified. So, the 'Teacher' setup that moves into the private talk is unreal - while the alternative is that she as a family friend happens to look for a private moment in iteration to previous 'signals' back and forth. But that is as well just an artificial setup. So, the question is: Are there any guidelines to follow? I'd send this to her, while the ways how I took notice of her are in the idea supported to be as abstract to the promoted line as possible. Thus, the idea can't be loyal to any setup because it is always the product of reality as setup. Thus she isn't my teacher or a friend but a stranger. There are no signals but ... if I may be so bold ... the feeling that she really is a strong skeptic. So there is this 'odd' that our relationship is already pre-burdained and overshaddowed by ideological turbulences. On a further note we want to know if there is a way to negate premature failures - without right away stretching the time frame into nirvana/norway. Because any setup is specific, so, to the point where the proposing entity has to come up with some way that makes sense to him/her - it is in that already specific to the individuals mind and thereby possibly one of many available choices. Thus the individual is basically required to express that context in relation to what would be the one closest to the perceived emotion; But one can't necessarily spend that time although the Spirit could point out here and there - before it gets out - (by the way, I'm 30) - things that are wrong.
In counter-effect the simplest way is to just go for it - while - in my situation this is what I feel is the better option. Just going for it should have the same effect as though the setup were real. So, beyond the "foreplay" there is the product. That leads into what is also noted in the top-left, which is then the opposite to a BDSM oriented startup - yet equally troublesome; To say: At some point the proposal has to be made and if it is as simple as it gets, like: "Do you want to ... me"/"I want to ... you". (I do believe at this point, valid for this time only as I suppose that it will change as it came, that the word "Marriage" has been - 'loaded'. So, that is what I believe is one of the powers the Key that the Antichrist holds does have. Saying: "Whatever will be bound in heaven will be bound on earth" [yes, sometimes we have to acknowledge that "even he" might just epically fail! - and ordinarily he would try to do all in his might to avoid that when I make such 'revelations' that they'll arrive; which at some point 'needs to' fail] takes us to the point where he can add 'emotional impact' to words. This takes me further into the issues about what is right and wrong within emotions - and - one close solution is to just meet face to face and see what remains. But I will also have to refer to Revelation 6:6 where this or a similar condition is being described, pointing out that not everything is impacted by this purposefull imbalance of things. Thus I guess that it is his mode of operations to talk and talk and talk until those that he talks to adapt to words that he had boobie trapped! In opposition I have to talk and talk and talk until I got them back out of my readers minds! All you got to do to keep it simple is to avoid being influenced by Hype. I won't say that Hype should be illegal, I just say that hype shouldn't override reason!). With that expression the couple in mind needs to settle on a score - and because that is the pragmatic foundation that is difficult to change - it is what remains.
So, the setup is what I have major difficulties with. I have a straight idea, but the words are yet an issue. So as well the lower line here, there is still something odd but within this second formulation the entire thing feels more right. In this setup the situation of comming together is more accurate - while the Teacher setting could abstract the foundation by lets say anything/something relating to femdom and 'vamp'irism. Yet it is so that I was consciously opting for the Teacher setup because it 'adds' to the image whereby this doesn't. It also fails in that she is thereby put into weaker position. To wrap it up to the reader: This second formulation would be the result if there was the guideline that the Proposal has to 'function', saying that the proposing Entity will have to think about the contents so that 'the two ends meet'. That would be supported by giving it time until one understands where the wrongs are at, so, where I'd see that she might get the whole Teacher thing wrong. But, as it is only down to the statement that gets her into it, I would stick to the Teacher setup because it makes me feel better although the feeling does't quite come together. So I have to wonder - as though this were a switch - up or down? To re-iterate: The important point is to let her know how she is expected to feel. In that sense this second setup might be right - but the irony might be that it would make her turn out more like the teacher simply because she is put off by being described in-accurately, thus growing more aggressive as a process of compensation.
As this would more and more revolve around the point of formulating how exactly this first contact into the intimate sphere is to happen, it is also already stupid because it would somehow resemble the likes of a screen-play. It is - as discussed at some former point - strongly connected to the issues of exagerated expectations. I could exagerate to the point of trying to please her, while she could exagerate to the point of renting a school - metaphorically, or making an act of it. As it is the pragmatic point that the setup is trivial, the understanding the target has of it should always be that the setup doesn't matter. It is always just about meeting in privacy - so - like drinking coffee or meeting for dinner. That is then however still the big question! What? How?
So, the idea was that this proposal, or a proposal like this, could be issued 'after' having already been out a couple of times. To me it would make sense to tell the story that plays on my mind - which would fit into the 'past-present-future' block - but that does to a tiny bit already exist in the emotions description. I have to assume that she'll relate to them her own way, while at first - there is no form or order to follow. In this specific case, yet thinking it into a different scenario, she would need to respond by telling me when and where. That completes the Loop. If I had to write: "I'm asking you to meet me in private", she'd be required to respond by asking "When and where?". Then, it doesn't matter how she thinks that she has to present herself. The situation and thus how things would turn out is definitely influenced by pre-positioned impositions, but its still more like a Porn - in given cases - because any implied "Foreplay" did, so the idea, already happen. Hmm...
The one thing odd is that I feel as though from very specific angles its not all that easy. Its then more a matter of where the attention resides. When I think that she might get something wrong, she doesn't "act" on behalf of the "pivotal line". As she is expected to feel that way, it is also expected that I may approach her as though she does. So, if my story implied that she kept throwing looks my way, it is in that sense already compliant to the pivot line. Thus is the pivot-line 'on-point' in that it resolves any unfortunate angle that there might be.
* Dominatrix: While a Domina would care to execute control - a Dominatrix would care to 'have' it.
The Tag and Closing Notes
It is maybe not perfect, but, it would evolve over time - and if not for the point of signing proposals, yet for the simple passion of doing so. What I have here is like - as everything else so far - the most simplistic and rudimentary product. There is a background, a foreground and a bottom-line. The Ornament would correspond to the individuals ability to adapt to artistic inspiration. However does the foreground present what the individuals practical alignment is like, where the background presents it as product of passion. That is because passion and Kink do basically come together, or, they draw the context - where - Kink and Passion would meet. Passion without Kink wouldn't help a lot, while Kink without Passion is like a dead shoe. In combination the picture's got depth. So, if the Passion would line out as opposed to ones Kink, one can tell by the foreground what matters, and by the background how strong it is to be conceived. Otherwise the Kink might relate to the bottom line, which reflects the part of the own self that is recognized as "the flipside". The Ornament would show - by the color - how the individual is to be comprehended. So, in reflections of the Kink or in reflections of the Anti-Kink. The background would also relate to either of the two.
Eventually the idea will have to be refined when - well - we have entirely different inspired products, to say, the Spirit provides the actual guidelines. I mean, one isn't supposed to believe that all of this 'has to be' themed sexually! As life changes, it is a theory that one is 'ready' the moment he/she feels it - which however is to be taken with caution, that in regards to the emotions in play. Meltdown is NOT alright! Simply Kink ... well, ... I believe I can say: Once the idea can be regarded a spiritual event it is rather safe ... or so ... if it is so, it does correspond to what I'm following. If however the emotions are the consequence of pushing the own mind into dreaming within certain conditions - get out!
So, #Fail1 was so that I got high and love songs were running and I started to think: "Waht if".
#Fail2 was so that I felt like I had to convince myself that I had to trust [very complex and convulated setup].
Depending on your individual background the advises I can give are either useful or entirely nonsense. So, if you suffer a fate like I did, then my advises can be gold! If you do however live a considerably healthy living - they might be ... well, "overkill". At the bottom of the pit one is confused, thus, aid to unriddle the confusion should be practical. Otherwise they might simply be a waste of time. Well ...
What might help at first is to generally agree on not doing anything. That is important if you have already failed and you would feel like I did, well, that any action, whatever the cause or course, is ridicolous. You should be paying attention on being certain - which isn't a matter of convincing yourself but just comming to the point where it is so told: 'inevitable'. If you can't acknowledge to yourself that it is (see #fail2-ish), although it might seem that way, it might be best to not try - so - Matrix Reloaded, Neo vs. Smith, where it is 'inevitable' and Neo could agree and thus gets the fuck out!
A good symptom of uncertainty is that you are curious to know of a way for God to answer your questions. In my experience God will answer your questions through life - not in a final answer-ish way. That already begins with the Testimony. It isn't an immediate response to your question, but will in time just blow all doubts away. Very same and even more to the point is the 'minor Testimony' which one has the privilege of after being baptised (at least). To this it is written and preached by the Mormon Priests and thus also Missionaries that one has to 'chew the thought through', so, at first thinking to the own minds end to eventually find an answer that doesn't require a testimony - which then is used to be testified. The Mormon Process is thereby more dedication and less real-life-action. My approach is the opposite. Thereto I however also don't "use" the "burning in the heart" as reference, but that what I came to name 'Segulo'. The Segulo is imagined like a container that contains the question. It is supposed to pass at first a membrane-like thing while either it so gets 'swallowed' by the imaginary ground on a yes or a no. Because this can at times, like due to bias, be obscured there is a second membrane at the back. Here the Segulo "comes out" while sometimes that is already overkill, and other times not enough. Thus there is the third stage where the Segulo is like pushed away by the hands through the opposite answer while being "vacuum attracted" by the Heart. This can also at times be too little, thus the Segulo there-after resides in the heart while the right answer is to fill it with water. This is to 'settle' the answer. I have come to this after my heart was basically sore from trying to understand certain things as I was walking home one day asking the Lord to give me a way. I dare not to say that it has ever failed me - but - that doesn't exclude the process of learning which questions one shouldn't ask. Those become evident by a certain feeling that are to hint out that the answer will come through life.
Beyond that however - making a list with names would help. It is firstly a tool to unfocus whatever is currently disturbing without unfocussing the totale of Relationships. One is required to put more effort into understanding an individual "taste" with the consequence of bettering the own understanding of "flavours" at least, and, potential differences as made up on a variety of factors, like 'age' and colors. I might so come to that woman that plays that hooker in Bad Boys - who would after all stand out amongst all celebrities, ignoring certain bits and pieces, but not to the point that would make me think that she's a fit for me. It doesn't really help to know anything better, but, it does help as influence to get the own mind into 'its own' direction - or so - away from whatever one did get circumstancially stuck on. Then, it isn't really possible to "one-shot darkness" - to say - the right one(s) cannot be forced into the own life so that another good advise is to not look for them! One might be better off to simply look for enjoying life - "carpe diem" - but not like a braindead Moron that expects Hell to be a big party! It might be an inch of consolidation that my life is still rather bad, at the time I write this, but that it is still paradise to some extent because I know how to enjoy myself. If you ever envy me, don't envy what you think I have, but envy the knowledge of knowing how to live! So, if you don't like it replace it by something else, but, having a glass of Pina Colada and purposefully laxing back to enjoy it, making yourself feel as though you were lying at a sunny beach (although all light that shines is electic), to so force yourself into some holliday mood, even if it just lasts for 5 minutes or less, like a huge gargantuan "Fuck You" statement to everyhing that doesn't like you, that is another step into a good direction. Its ironic how Al Bundy can turn into a good example!
It is also a nice break from the internet. The internet, well, thats a thing. There is the world-wide-web, arguably there is the deep-web and there is the nerd-wide-web. The latter part is that part of the web where the ordinary mortal wouldn't end up being - like - the comment section of YouTube. Because ones existence on the web is defined by output, enganging into arguments is never going to accomplish a personal experience of a superior existence. So, once its just too much, cross your lower arms to an X, palms down, the X being horizontal, and spread your arms apart. bam. Done. Chill-out time! That were you in real life, your virtual existence says: Whatever! and nobody can take a hold on you! Period!
Technically that is called: One-shotting the internet!
Once it gets a nerd statement you might resort to chopping or playing W.o.W. - who cares?!
Where was I? Uhm ... spiritual events! Yea, there are these and those. A nice side-effect of 'looking around' is that you get a vague idea of the Level of Depth that your own mind can create. Its like just levelling the field and spiritual events that fall in line with those things can be easily acknowledged as something but not important. In case you missed something or can't quite sort it in yet there is no bad in discarding it. Its like loot in any game that involves crafting or combining of items. If it looks special, put it into a chest or something. By the time you can make use of it, it can be used. More to the point will it so affirm itself by fitting into more and more of what you call your home.
So ... the end ... for now! Which is like ... maybe for a longer break, like to 55290.7 or 55291 ish. Maybe longer - ...
Stardate 55290.32579