But ... Gaming!
Cause I like the Vita
Just saying - that - although the Brett @ Hollywood might suggest otherwise ... its not too bad! I mean, Maverick Hunter X, Castlevania - Symphony of the Night, Final Fantasy VII and VIII, Breath of Fire III, Monster Hunter, Dragons Crown, Ys 7, Street Fighter Alpha 3, Hotline Miami, ... those are Games I find exceptionally well worth playing - Not too bad either would be Kill-Zone, Assassins Creed, Uncharted, Knytt, Flying Hamster HD, Wipe Out, ... but I can't imagine Terraria being any good on a Handheld! The Android version is ... the Mobile Phone version is ... like ... I don't know! Trying the Demo was an experience, but I can't tell if it was a nice one - although - it certainly makes some time go by but I don't wanna know how it is to fight a boss ... although ... but ... its free anyway (the Demo).
And no, I'm not playing Terraria because Minecraft is Microsoft now!
And ... because ... I'm a slut
I enjoy comming to a certain peace about it - so - to be open about it. I'm not entirely shameless thus I'm not bugging to let everyone on Capcom-Unity know how to find me ... and I have to add though that I, when I tried to describe it, was - as told - just looking at myself. I find it extremely hard at certain points to accept gaming as a part of my life if the alternative were more ... Sex. It is at that point not just being a slut by accident, it is, well, ... anyway. It is though nice to experience that no matter how hard I'd be on myself - it can never be all and everything! Starting with the simple and gentle Love that got it all going - or - that was there before it got going that way. But that doesn't change what happened - and - although things do look as though they come to end as though they begun, its more than just returning to the past. Yet, whatever the philosophy and philosophies and reflections - it is also to me a statement from God that says that He cares about our individuality. He could have just gone on, plucking all apart, trying to somehow fiddle us together, but ... that would be as though He said that whatever we are wouldn't matter! He sais that we are as meaningless as dust to Him, but yet, that doesn't say that we don't matter as what we are! So does dust settle, fly around, each individual particle came from somewhere and goes somewhere, none is forgotten.
Maybe thus some don't say anymore that God is the greatest - when so experiencing His true Mercy - but 'being glad to be alive' instead, realizing God as beyond all things - transient - self-understood just good.
Gaming ...
Is a wonderful thing though! Leaving all the romantic "Be a Hero in a Mystic Land" stuff aside - it is as transient as God, somehow. We live - playing a game for a while - where everything else is forgotten. Whatever we may be or may have been is all irrelevant when gaming. Except maybe the game features extensive potential for creativity - theeeen - well - some of our true self would tendentially shine through, if we aren't too ashamed of eventually being discovered in one of our most intimate features. What did I enjoy building Levels in Build3D (for the Duke Nukem 3D Engine) ... !!! Build a house, build a secret Base, build ... a ... well ... something with red light! ;) ... yea!
I am one kind of a gamer. While some can spend endless effort on Ego Shooters - that's just another kind of person. I can't imagine the one or the other sinking time into mining out a Hellevator (that is: in Terraria digging straight down just to reach the lowest Layer of the World (its a loooong way!) to get to that special Ore that is found only there ... after of course obtaining Obsidian to craft an Obsidian Skull for not getting hurt there and such things) ... and it is in the end yet both and anything else about knowing how to do something. It is an exit from the every day routine, into another - yea - everyday routine. Sounds silly, but, its better than nothing! Yet, having grown older, it is hard for me to differentiate between whether I do it for the fun, out of the passion, or just as alternative to nothing - in exchange for what I don't have!
I might start thinking about passion and how gaming as a thing can be a passion - aside of being just an acquainted way of killing time with entertainment value - thus for me in some way Gaming stands in conflict to Sexual activity. If I had to decide I wouldn't choose gaming ... most certainly ... and yet ... is gaming one of those Upgrades to our existence from these most rudimentary roots of ours. So I find joy in the idea of being able to craft something that on the other end might give joy to others - while in turn experiencing joy while spending time on things that others have crafted for the same purpose. Or, well, at times it rather fills me stress ... so, sometimes ... I'd be glad if I had something else instead! Thats a Kink too! Like saying: I want to be into gaming to have something to sacrifice in favour of being a Whore! Now, maybe you do slowly get sick of reading these kinds of statements - but - it should be just fine to settle a score on being able to see things a little bit more individualistic - to not go and condemn things that aren't familiar to ones self - or - to take given examples too seriously! If I gave up on gaming I wouldn't want to say that games are bad! They are in deed a waste of time, stupid, silly, nonsensical to some degree - but - so is whatever else I might give it up for!
And so - is this!
I'm looking forward to being forced to expose myself shamelessly - thus - I say that I have, well ... "no shame" in doing what I enjoy to do! That is the one message that I would individually share - as a ... statement of mine ... .
Stardate 55290.42269
Which also means - technically - MoA won't happen! But - if it is Gods will, it will! Which is me possibly just overthinking things in a personally in too deep manner - but ... its a good point! So, asking for it, it isn't supposed to happen! It is a long and weary process to build it - then the game was designed too complex to begin with. The Gameplay ... that is a different thing. While the game might work pretty well and even be the best game ever - it would also be too long and thereby too linear to be any good ... which has been bugging me for some time now that I come to think of it! It would have worked better a few years ago - but - nowadays and onward - it'd be in the way of too many other good things ... while the deeper message ... wouldn't really dig anything anymore. So did the idea of the Art-style that I've had change - so, I'm not even sure whether to go more for the Chibi-proportions style or the 'realistic proportions' way - which would also in some ways affect the gameplay - while - the chibi idea wouldn't work on such a large scale and the realistic style - well - would happen to have a quite complex control mechanism that would be essentially confusing. But I'm sure that the respective ideas will end up in the right heads once its time for that to happen! Peace! My MoA will - thats what this tells me - come to me in real life! Maybe I got some stuff that can be used by someone - its not all that bad - but that is more or less not an issue.
Or it is one of those questions that will resolve itself. It has a ... not regarding what is actually going on in this world ... 50% chance of being that. If I just continued and got to an end ... to say ... I won't just stop for as long as it gets me going! But it bothered me at some point and therefore it has turned into an issue here - and - yea ... it means that we'll see! It is however not a significant/"master-Level priority" thing anymore that should determine my future actions - whatever there may be - thats the point!
At the rate I'm proceeding, it is also an issue that it might be true that it should be done by now, while, it might take me a year to get to a stable engine, Quest Mechanisms and NPC A.I., Event stuff and cutscenes not included! Then possibly 4 years of trial and error to get the editing and file-data layout properly lined up, and ... well ... one or two more years to get the story going while I do literally have 'no' dungeon purpose at all! The plot is spoiled either way, no further twists but Neala dieing included, and about that I'm not even sure! But in my head it was a nice and epic Adventure!
Stardate 55290.44314