The Empty Chair - and Depth
I have a few things to apologize for. At first @Steven Dill for what I did in Elementary School - trying to group up people into a conspiracy against him; And also for giving out his Phone Number where I was caught stealing in the Super Market. Then also @Carsten [something, Elementary School] - for having also been into Angela and expressed that I might be enough into her to commit a crime (murder) to get there.
I don't know why I did things - but I know that I didn't really mean any ill. So I wonder - while next to that those issues are so insignificant to me that I wouldn't bother. It would though say something if people took the silly actions of an elementary child seriously enough to hold grudges up until now, but, eventually those things even exist for a higher reason.
I must assume that children do things like that for reasons similar to what makes them become who they become. To add a third event - I was a real crybaby - saying - once being in a toy-store and I didn't get what I wanted I eventually began to cry. I do think of these things as 'dis-proportionate emotional orientations' - and is in that sense something to quite generally take into account when thinking of emotional issues on similar planes. Anyway - 'orientations' since, well, lets take the picture of a Galaxy/Quasar - which means - they have a disk, jets, and depending on which side of the Quasar one is looking at the whole thing looks different. There, me crying when in a Toy-Store may be considered bad behavior - so much to take analysts and psychologists into account to figure what of a spoiled person I am. On the other hand though, once being in a full understanding of the truth, it would be rather so that me not crying when being in a toy store could be considered ill. It of course is a matter of once 'pre-burdainance' and on the other side 'cognitive synergy'. Pre-burdainance is about having certain emotional 'gravity spots' that take effect during lifetime. Cognitive Synergy is about buffering their effect via consideration. Saying 'dis-proportionate' so means: it doesn't fit into society while however a cognitive synergy wasn't developped yet.
Also has it been so that in regards of Steven, well, kids were talking. I saw myself on the side of those that heard those stories and on the side of those that thought that those things are bad - so - Stevie, well, was a bad person. As I found myself surrounded by equal-minded people, I well, must have dropped into some sort of a dis-proportional circumstance of routing people up against what so was found considerably wrong. I so created a little booklet and even gave the whole thing a certain something of a secret organization. It never really turned into a thing and so - once I think back - I even worry that the opposite may have grown from it.
In a similar way might everyone of us be capable to relate to the Love issue - more or less. The more significant a certain Love is to the individual, the more dangerous is a person that could interfere - and so the more cautious the individual gets and hence the lines between right and wrong are arguably bent for the greater good. But to ease all your minds: Since High School I've been an outsider, have frequently be mocked and basically none of that changed up until now - give or take.
Depth
Depth basically arises, so a simple view, where someone has internal processes that he or she keeps to him/herself. This adds to the individual in that once the indivdiual has something to say, chances are high that the expression is more considerate, reflected and thus rich in value. As I keep blabbering about everything that is on my mind I may be arguably shallow - but - building on what I tell instead of recognizing that it a) is comming from somewhere and b) that I hold the potential to evolve as well - while wondering about my depth is like the stupidest thing ever! Peace!
Stardate 55290.780