A "Brett" @ Hollywood and stuff
[Brett: German - a.k.a.: Wooden Board]
Soundtrack of the Writing: Jerry Reed - Westbound and Down
[This is yea 'for' everyone and at all, no personal messages and stuff - but - still, [pointing at my eyes, pointing at yours], looking into certain directions - give or take]
a.k.a. "The Relativity of Jennifer Lopez"
@Megan Fox
You might be surprised how a few words can change your perception on life. What would @you say if I told you that people got more Sympathy for you than for Michael Bay? Well - the one moment @you're nothing but a B-type starlet that ruined its career by not being in Transformers 3, the other moment you've made it since Transformers 1 to be one of the most recognized female celebrities of Hollywood. Its, we might say, relative to a guy who at first, as I've heard, wanted to make the Turtles be Aliens. It is one thing to know how to make a shiny movie, another to understand a beloved Frachise! Its all relative - we might say.
I write this basically because something in my mind tells me that you would like to know how I think about @you. Well, for that we might take a skip into the world of people that say "there are doers and don't doers" - or so. Saying, we can't all be doers! My point! The one moment @you're Megan Fox, the other moment you're narrowed down to a Character that does only consist of an idea and a few words of screenplay. I think there is a problem with which characters @you could play. In certain ways, well, a bit like me. You look still pretty fresh, so, one might say: "Teen movie", but, for that you're just too much. You did fit well into Transformers because that was also, well, just too much! I had to think about Monica Bellucci. So, she's playing roles that suit her age - nothing too fancy, except the one or the other role maybe, but, she's doing her thing, staying out of the line of fire, and there aren't too many "high profile" roles (for blondes) she could play. On the other hand there are Characters like Johnny Depp, or uhm, Jack Sparrow, well, another prime example of what is 'over the tops'. Neo, uhm, Reeves or Cage, so, the Ghost Rider, they aren't. So we got to people like Sandra Bullock or George Clooney that would fit into in about every role ever. @You might try and do the same, or you preserve yourself - maybe - I'd say Leia Oregana or Videl (Dragonball Z) would be two examples that would suit @you. However, I guess I can understand that some people would think @you a little bit difficult. I'd say, daring myself a bit further out of the window, that you are more of a real life Character than an Actress, but just too much for Real life itself. That is what I could relate to personally. I'm over the tops, some might say, or - I guess there is even a word for that - ... what was it ... yea, "Überflieger". Its difficult to translate I'd say. There is the word Uber and the word Flyer. It so are guys like me that fit into that "Neo" cliche, but not that of the movie. Things like, apparently I can't be satisfied while I'm identified with something less than epic, while whatever I do would in some way only be another way of saying: "Hey look at how epic I am!". Making fun of it we might picture a Minecraft let's play where the Uberflyer would place a block and all of a sudden it is the most epically placed block ever and the whole world gots to see it. -cut-. But, its a cliche. Then maybe also a psychosis. I value my oppinion and if I say 'Iron Man' is a good movie then I want everyone to know that Iron Man is a good movie! Everyone who objects is a moron! There are people who want their oppinion to be recognized and there are people whos oppinion gets recognized. Point of the matter is that there are people who say that Transformers 4 was bad because it was made by Michael Bay! Then there are people that say that Star Wars gots to become good because JJs behind it. Though Lucas would seek to keep his feet out of it, I guess he feels like he burned himself once too much on it, he, in my oppinion, has to be involved - and if just as bystander to point his oppinion in terms of difficult questions. Its like having Tolkien around while doing a Lord of the Rings movie! Better than nothing!
The saviours of the Industry are - anyway - well written Characters. The reason why Transformers 3 stands out to me is because it capitalizes on Characters that just are on point. The female main act doesn't count to them!
But I digress ... - although my point can't be any more than ... - well. Let me take a few steps back. Though it could be totally unrelated - its people like me that movies are made about! Taking Luke Skywalker for instance, he and I got a lot in common! Essentially luke isn't the main act. Luke is just a guy who happens to be somehow involved due to his heritage and talent on the force. What it is all about is the druids landing on Tattooine (where, well, shout out to George Lucas for comming up with such a unique name - for as we both know - finding fantasy names can be a horror! At least, listening to what some people have come up with. Yea, its like the Unobtainium of fiction!). So, Luke at first is just an ordinary guy who wants to be a Stormtrooper. Because the druids somehow end in his parents posession and because Kenobi lives around he somehow gets involved into the rebellion - and because Kenobi finally undertakes it to school him in the arts of the force, well, he does inevitably just become a player in the field. Its a story that pictures Luke as the average ordinary person that however wasn't meant to be average and ordinary. He's got hidden talents that do in the right time drop into caring hands of an advisor - and while so having ever been somehow special and outstanding - as fate had a purpose for him - it finally comes to evolve. "The Message" that R2D2 carries is much like the message I've been reading in that book, since when I've undertaken it to study the Gospel. Part of the message are the plans to the Deathstar, thus the Empire is after them. Luke is just an asset - who would either comply or die. Third option: Fight the Empire and win! And what are the odds on the way? People with fancy cars? Here's mine:
Office, Living Room - all in One! (Its a Wolfskin! XD) The Bedroom is a separate "Sandbag". The 'finger-side' of my Bible may not be as fancy as the one of my first - and there we get to the point of ... whatever seems a mess about it/me. When I began studying, I took a Bible just like that because it was the best I had and put love and effort into it. An empty page on front would serve me as note-panel for passages I now would get desperate looking for. I'd have to find the time to read the entire book again ... so basically ... all Love that went into Version 1 got lost. (By the way, the Box of my Monitor is a different one. I actually got an Acer! I'm just sayin' because basically I'm brand-aware and loyal if I find a brand that works fine for me! I'm not a fan of cheap things and that basically because I believe that a brand is more than just a name written on a product! A good brand also stands for quality, and in most cases: Progress. Support Sony and you'll get future Sony Quality products from Sony! Otherwise they'll die and - well - "suffer the consequences" if you know what I mean! There are however culprits! I mean, though at first I was happy about my Toshiba hard-drive, I just once gently placed it on the floor while the USB was plugged in, letting it down while holding the wire, and for some reason I had to notice that the time I wanted to use it again the USB plug on the drive was detached. Maybe it was someone else in the room who broke it, who knows? But that again is a quick reminder that I don't feel safe here! There's that saying that goes: Don't throw the pearls unto the pig (Jesus Christ) - but my problem is that I live in a Pig Stable, so, where can I put my Pearls to begin with? Therefore it is also so that most of what you see on these images is basically without value!).
But I digress ... . So, if I took a crowbar and just accidentally walked by a fancy car too close, taking a smooth long walk along its broadside, ... I mean, I once saw one car that got treated that way and the first thing I had to think was: Well, he cheated on his girl! To say something about 'bad image'. But the point is that if I just did so out of hostility - how accurate would be the interpretation? Now my Bible 1.0 would help me find the right verse - but now Jeremiah 5.1 is closer! Does however drop into context quite well! The verse I'm looking for might/should be around there somewhere, if it isn't within Isaiah. I guess it is within Isaiah! If you want to know the Background to the whole 'Israel' (the "future" Prophet) thing you should definitely read Isaiah 40 to Jeremiah 33 though! Just sayin'! I've read it, and to be sure that I don't tear verses out of context you should definitely make up your own mind about what the Bible has to say about it! There is for instance something about an uncurable desease - which - is elaborated in context to a social dilemma. Then it is written that "he" will be like chewed down by Moths! Now, instead of waiting for me to find the right verse you should basically know what I'm talking about! It is about our time and if you care to be properly informed: Go to the source!
I had this dream once. I was in a room where @you were surrounded by @your Friends and some guys next to me were standing there. One of the girls fancied to come up with a comparison mixed with a Challenge - or - something like a "what you think you are"-ish thing. She asked if there was some guy comparable to Keanu Reeves in his good times - as outstanding as - or so - and I stood up. But, instead of laughter - other guys stood up to push me aside. I wanted to explain, and then the girls started laughing: No, not like that! A point for me is, almost always present, that my enemy takes me seriously! And if I accidentally would shit into a corner, they'd send a team of analysts and what not to investigate the incident to know what potential good there could be found in that event! Matter of fact they only need to know one thing: Who is Israel? What would anyone here suggest were the thing they did whence they knew? Let him pass through doing nothing? Well, so yea, THEY would argue: "And if you walk through the fire the fire won't kindle upon thee!" - yea - same old! But so, as they can't stop 'me', they can try to make you think that I'm someone else while comming up with someone else to pose as me - for instance! The uncurable desease!
So naturally, the moment I mentioned @Your name, @Your life was about to change! It goes like 'zoom' and 'boom', people would realize the potential match we'd make, DANGER! WARNING! ALERT! but phew! @You are miles away and basically they've got enough of their minions closer to @you than I'm to my family! That's every day life for me! I can't do shit! So my question would be: Any odd activities that are strangely pushing into @your intimacy as of the past few, well, 3-ish years?
@Amanda Tapping
Can I take what I feel as a Yes? I have to point out that what I've written in the last thing, speaking of Spiritual Activities, I have to say that what remains of the 18 is basically @you and Madonna. Maybe as well, and that's now a cut into the own flesh: Beyoncee. The thing with Beyoncee was the following: I was still living in Eglosheim, sitting at my Desk and being troubled by the situation I've ended up in. While I was on the one side busy making sense of what I believed, I was on the other side busy making sense of what I had to think about #You (the Celebrity people core thing). Looking into the emotions thing, those images prepared to have footage ready in case I would need to refer to something like the Meltdown, there is the Piercing thing. It was literally as though she was standing next to me and kissing my Neck! Well, don't get me wrong - I don't mistake that for Love or anything - it just happened! So, no matter how ballsy and bad-ass and what not I am or might be, a simple realization of my situation would be: Either I do something terribly stupid, or what else I do would be called terribly stupid! Just have enough people voice their oppinion as negative and the 'relations' change. Lets say that 100% of the people that never get heard would say that Sanctuary is a good show, it just takes 8 people around anyone of you to make you believe the opposite! I mean, Season 1 is odd, and yea, eventually Magnus may at some point be a bit too much, but that is from an entertaining standpoint a totally different thing! I mean, whats wrong about a woman that does for a change get hardcore on everyone? And if that episode where they introduced Richard was a diz @ Alphas, well, it totally works with me! I mean, I did enjoy Alphas too, but - in terms of class and everything there are just worlds apart! Similar to Stargate. I can totally ignore the @You appearances therein and partially enjoy it even more because I'm otherwise put off by the idea that this person there is played by someone I've got an "#entanglement" with.
In contrast to that we might take Jennifer Lopez for instance. A person that is quite literally next to nothing, but, everyone would agree that she is quite one of the most ... ish ... mostestesst mostestersesses mosting the mostest of mostestesst possible or so. On the other hand side have I mentioned Madonna frequently, while, I assume that she is a unique kind of person where ... its more difficult to make such #terror work. Anyway would I suggest that they can neglect various individual while they have a fortification 'around' it. So, there is no need to discredit Madonna because she doesn't have any credibility to begin with! Sotosay! @You are however different again. It seems to have been a long process to discredit Stargate as a whole, but what I've written about the Hype in the previous writing is herein better described as the loss in confidence. But maybe it is after all a lost fight! Saying, yea, Nerds these days get main-streamed! If I label myself a Nerd it isn't enough anymore to be into very specific things, no, I also have to be into this or that! So, and who wants to be a Geek? The other mess is possibly unwanted! Nerds trying to acknowledge that all kinds of Nerds come from different backgrounds, the public Nerds have to somehow call everything good, which is only countered by people like Angry Joe but that in return is again its individual mainstream that so uses the shitstorm hype-train to be more bad to some things as to those that really are! That is just my impression!
@Capcom
At this point in time the whole thing can be seen when looking at Capcom and Ultra Street Fighter 4. There are those that are Joyous about Omega Mode and those that keep raging about it! I must believe that something changed within Capcom, which was never really settled beforehand. So, I guess that Capcom was somehow entangled with someone else who would push his oppinion into their minds but they wouldn't quite respond like a bunch of Puppets. Thus the mixed resonance. What I'm looking at specifically is the significance of market research - to say - it can be ab-used as 'black on white evidence', or in other words: The drug the Agents inject Morpheus to get the Codes to Zions Mainframe. At some point Capcom finally cancelled the contract and since then shitstorm is like ... everywhere. Right or Wrong? Well, anyway - what is the 'right' oppinion? I mean, if I had 100 friends and made a survey I could tell them what to say and I'd have an "accurate" representation of the crowd, wouldn't I? Well, it may not be that simple, but, put a petition online and those that know that it exists know that it exists! It might work in a world where collusion were not a thing, but in ours it certainly is!
Add to that the uncertainty of the doubt and a probably half-hearted product and I'm not suprised that things don't go all that well! I suppose that Capcom grabbed a ballsack of Titanium to just individually agree with me on that point - and I wish 'em bests of Luck! And, because I'm deeper involved into that, I have to add why I believe that Decrape needed to be re-buffed a little, after having been nerfed: The point is that she is a new Character - period! If she were 1 of 4 new Characters it wouldn't matter all that much. 4 new Characters are enough to get the player hooked into experiencing the different new play-styles where the next question is how they compete against the old ones, so, balance issue. The same would apply to Decrape, but since she is just 1, the 'discard ratio', especially in this times competitive environment, is just increased by a weaker welcome. Next to that is Balance a difficult topic! Since I now can write open and free about it - without Stick Man comming in and complaining about it - being not restricted to the knowledge and wisdom of a "mere mortal" - and neither furthermore restrained by the laws of keeping a discussion going - it is always Dynamic! What matters to me is that the game 'feels' fair. So that when I go online and pick a Character I don't feel stupidly bum-rushed by a volley of Kens and Blankas with a Character that has little to nothing convincing at hand to be considered fairly equal. It may once again be different on the higher ranks where Ken isn't a remarkable Character, but as True Talent pointed out: Ken does have Bisons pressure just using Normals! So, no matter how "over-buffed" Decrapre or Rose might appear, we might change the discussion to - pardon me - Dee Jays "Monkey Slide" or Blankas "Nutshell" - and after all there still is Ken! But, well, it is up to the player if he/she wants to play Zangief defensively or not - for instance! And as the story goes: The battles aren't won by complaining about the Balance!
I mean, there has to be something alike going on in Capcom, no matter how right or wrong my idea thereof is. The moment I thought about it - something had to happen. Next to that it is though a really good point to point out that I myself am, well, not in the position to be particularly specific about my skills, but, good or bad ideas left aside (And I still believe that Morlatti was a good idea!) - I'm more like obviously rendered incapable of joining the party! So, if that is what we can all agree on as having been Gods point about how I did what I did, we can cut to the final battle in Resident Evil Retribution where Alice so accurately points out that killing her won't be necessary! Shoots at ice and done! So ...
@Antichrist(ians)
@You are just pathetic! Did @You know that? The one moment @You're all, "#superior", but woe @you've lost in one thing - then @you turn out to be worse than a Crybaby! It makes people feel pittiful about @You. Then @You go like all sad and life has betrayed @You and stuff like that, while @You have after all received more from life than anyone else! So, is that a betrayal as well? Did God cheat on @You? Its not that! Trust me! It is what @You do with what @You have received! @You received power, @You believe it makes you invincible, but woe @You might get hurt! I mean, I'm speechless!
@Capcom 2
... it will remain their own doings that get them cut off!
@Amanda Tapping 2
Which is just the kind of thing that gets me into trouble! There are things that folks might adapt to argue with, leaving things that others do argue against. And what do I suppose? Or propose? It seems to be a question - around which to me it appears inevitably so that people argue about my oppinion. While there is argument there is no agreement, hence there is no definite right, thus everything is potentially wrong - ergo - I'm left out once again! To cut the crap, I have to say, that if this nonsense were gone, just so, I'd be in charge. In that position I'd be responsible - not for everything and alone - but I'd be something like a global Arts and Science supervisor. Or: Supervisor of Cultural Development. The point is that my oppinion would have weight, followed by the point that I craft my oppinion in regards to the impressions I do have. One would be that we need more Stargate, another would be that the Balance of USF4 is alright! Period! End of the discussion! Michael Bay gets fired, Sanctuary gets continued if there are plans for that, Game of Thrones doesn't matter and Married with Children Merchandise would be pushed a little. Then, Star Trek might get a new show, Tomb Raider would be Tomb Raider again, I'd peep into what they are cooking up in the Star Wars kitchen, just sniffing though, I'd look to getting a Secret of Mana and Secret of Evermore reboot done, would look forward to get a new World of Warcraft done, Scrapping the Swarm Host from SC2 - and ... talk to Sony about making the PS4 PC like.
Arguing that parts of it are just my own fancy, well yea, of course - but I feel that fantasy in the style of SoM and SoE are needed! What we got these days is just ... meh! Its like, sorry, Lord of the Rings made everyone Braindead! OK, the trailer of the Seventh Son was OK, but, for what it is conceptually it could've been more, starting with the name! It is just the same thing again! A great idea underrated due to "issues". Issues like that it is Lord of the Rings again but not, or whatever! But it takes another step into that sort of Fantasy - where well - Tolkien did just write "as much" - and its a good step! Pretty much like Dragonheart back in the days. It also gives me a vibe of the Magic Sword - but Fire Demons and a Sword that isn't quite Magic, well, kills it to a bit. And this Witch is so cliche - give her a bit more of Ice Queen and less Diva and we'd have ourselves a thing!
Its so - to come to the classic - a matter of what #You put your trust into!
@Sony
"@You suck!" - but just a little! And, there isn't much @You could do - aside of - a few things that I would suggest could be done better! The Vita is fine, if people were to realize that at some points sticking to hardware that works is also good! I'm not holding grudges against Nintendo, but, Nintendo is to me a bit like the Corruption in Terraria. Either one goes there just for the purpose of collecting loot or to sprinkle it with purifying dust. So, what is the Market? The Market is a place that provides people with stuff, at first, and is the primary source people get their stuff from! Alright! Then the market is a place where @You and Nintendo somehow fight about ... something ... I don't know ... like ... Capcom and Inafune ... its ... a Mystery. Yet it is so that @Your hardware, well, as good as it may be, doesn't come without those ... well ... Kinks. Then @You desperately try to push it with Software while the people @You have to do so, well, I'd say they are clueless. They however are allowed to be because @You are primarily a hardware manufacturer and it is left to the open world to provide @Your system with the Software it so urgently needs - and the more it is so that owning a Playstation means "not owning" an X-Box we can find how @You are basically a victim of the circumstance. Thereby does DRM kill a lot! Then there is Nintendo that simply has the better Handheld because Handhelds are for Kids, which is no longer a matter of the Hardware! I don't know though why I am attracted to it. I'm saying myself: Hey, I can feel those odds, there is literally nothing that that convinces me of owning one, but still - I want one! The point is that the Vita can be built upon, upgraded, it - basically - is at 11% of its potential. It is though one of those "strange" theories. The Vita is ideal for people like me who don't have a lot of use for a cell-phone - as one thing - but arriving at those hard edges it always takes me to Nintendo. If the Vita would for instance try to be less like the PS3 but more like the SNES, Gold Nugget! Then, I would picture a place like NYC, a place where people ... well ... thats a Social Network thing! There is the Cell-Phone, but that is odd because it has different purposes. A PC may be too bulky or inexperienced users might get brain-cancer from trying to install a simple game, while - in a place like NYC I believe it is very easy to get lonely! MMOs are too - much more of that - too anonymous - too world wide - which is the ideal place for something like a Virtual Reality to become a part of social life! So, mixing [oomp] with [teen] and [maybe more] - as a handheld focussed game with a supplemental PC background - and all that is missing is like the social spark to put it to use. If the PS4 is thereby also acquired to function like a PC with however the expandent convenience of a Console - we have what I believe is the foundation to the modern society. I don't say: Plug all into the Matrix. I'd say - use Tech for what its good for!
If you say that that is what Microsoft tried and earned Shitstorm for, wrong! If you say that that is what Nintendo is doing, ... kindof, but wrong! Microsoft may be thinking into the same direction - for naturally - as tech becomes more and more acquirable and that furthermore pushed by the fact that yesterdays youth will be tomorrows grandparents, its a dead givaway that capitalizing on installing "Your Hardware in Modern Homes" is the/a way to go! It is highly unlikely that all people would just turn around and go Amish! At some point though - well - maybe - we can talk of something short to a Miracle, that, Microsoft, Apple and Nintendo failed all together! I'm not talking about an XBone-ish Multi-Media center or an Apple-Controlled household, neither the the infantization of Virtual Existence; I'm talking about ... many things! Maybe at first not planting boobie traps in the own household! But, next to that, @You can only hope that people will want that!
@Amanda Tapping 3
Sucks if I always write @you in the headline but never come to actually quite "talk" to @You. Hmm ... . @You are maybe the strangest thing that ever happened to me, and I do believe that chances are quite high that @you feel the same about me! Does it make sense? Does it not? Well, it doesn't, but, ... yea, and Smith comes in to ruin the moment. There's this joke - where - taking the speech of Smith where he talks to Neo after Neo talked to the Oracle (Reloaded) - when replacing 'Purpose' - by - well - something like - Sex.
What's the word we're looking for? Fallacy? Libido? What I mentioned at first @Megan, little things people can say that change a lot, happened to be as someone simply told me that I am being beloved! All of a sudden I can look at people not suspecting that they're up into something nasty - although - the chance still exists! There is arguably little to nothing we can do about it! If we said "Church", what do we know who is waiting there for us? If we said "Disco", what do we know who is waiting there for us? I guess, the most dangerous thing is an enemy that we know nothing about but does know everything about us in return, while we are like puppies in a zoo! We can't get out, can only live our lives, and the only control we have is to say yes or no! Or, option three: Fight the empire and win! @You should know what I love so much about Stargate! Stargate makes it obvious that there is some bad guy, and that the Heroes don't care about him! But, it is exactly a moment like that, where now Stargate is gaining a bit of Hype, or recently the Age of Ultron trailer did the same, that anything sexual is like blown away. It seems weird to so have that picture of Hardcore epicness on the front of fighting them villains - while having to somehow find how Sex should fit into it! It is just one of the ways.
I just came to understand that - basically it is now so that if Megan or @You ever tried to get to me, well, you'd basically release Michael Bay from his duties. That is basically not true because, I don't know who employs him or what kind of a person he is in the end, but, I know people that have more power than they should have! They think that because they have the say so they can say so whatever they want - and whatyagondoaboutit? It are those people one would feel treated unfair by, but there is nobody to hide to! It's like the bad father while there is no loving mother around. If we ever turned agains them they are all like a bag of pittifulness and we'd well be - charmed to drop all reason just because they can't handle it! Where there are doers and non-doers, there are also survivors and sissies! What am I? Good question! I'm sure there are two possible answers! The one makes me wrong in case I would posess the audacity to say that I can't handle my situation all alone, the other puts me into the boat of those that have to learn to be strong! Its all relative! The problem I got with these people is, well, whatever happens they just cannot let go! Whatever the cost or prize! And if they had to sell their own mommy! Someone like me would acknowledge: OK, if I am the problem then I'm gonna step back, shut my mouth and deal with it! After all we're all sitting in the same boat and if things are reall turning out well then I'm sure that there will also be a place for me! Of course that is only cock-fighting about status quo, and well, while Michael Bay is here now the official bad guy, sorry! If it weren't true he'd react accordingly!
There are many reasons why we come to not do what we would. If #You got here and I'd tell you: Sorry, got to finish my game first! - that would be in about the same thing! Therefore - more Stargate favourites! My favourite support Character of Stargate SG1 is Chakka! I mean, I even sometimes just sit here and say "Chakka". He's a good fella! And Unas wisdom: It takes as long as it takes! (As translated by Daniel Jackson - The Naquadah Mine). In Stargate Atlantis I can't quite decide. On the one side I like Ford, starting Season 2, but then - although he isn't quite a support Character, Todd! Michael, well, I guess he and I got too much in common but ... in a somewhat uncanny way ... thats why I guess I there favourite Princess Harmony! That guy that taught her - ... well ... - got the MacGyver reference! But yea, that Chakka thing ... thats my point here. Without at some point just all sitting together and taking our time ... there will be no happy ending I'm afraid!
That is excluding Sex as it is including it! It is as difficult to mention it as it is to not mention it!
@Monica Bellucci
I'm confused! That because I have to wonder how I've gotten into @you! On my top 100 list @you made it to the top, but, I was already in "not taking it too serious" mode, where, it is effectively some form of 'anti-belief' where I pushed @you away - and how could I there tell of anything 'spiritual event'-esque happening? Its all in all more complicated than I made it out recently. Its got to be my next big mistake of the past I'd say, so, the sooner I react to it the better. At some point it was all between @You and @Madonna - where @you two were like - well - the left and the right end of my reality.
@Amanda Tapping 4
But naturally - the odd thing about it are those feelings that make no sense in nonsense - or - well ... if I'm really careful about it, it is true to say that those feelings are unique because of the feeling itself and less because the feeling corresponds to one of our likes. It is - to me - however still mixed and thus a second step to then wonder if that is liked, well, confuses me. I can say 'no' and add the reason that I much prefer a conscious existence, but when I think so I usually also think of the consequence that when I'm worn out and looking for some comfort I would rather prefer something like that than to consciously ponder upon my misery; Sotosay.
@Britney Spears
So, whats the matter? I never took Amanda like something serious but I kept resorting to the presence of the thought in my mind as something that I wouldn't want to waive on. @You are similar, but, there is still something strange that I'm missing. I've once had that dream, where, I was wondering about ... I was confused in regards to the resolution of my doings, and in that dream there was one of those white books but the Author read @Your name. Since then I've come to think of @You as a possible best friend-ish companion, its a feeling that just sticked. So I would guess that @You've gotten @your own sort of adventure going on - but - it doesn't quite feel right! Somethings wrong! And - many other things. Understanding it does however not really seem to add anything to my progress - as sometimes I get thoughts into my head that are like spoken by someone else, and as I try to get deeper into it the thought just disappears. So yea, why not? Two eyes see more than one! ... yea! At all!
So I've also come to understand that within a discussion or argument it is best to have someone as support, since well, arguing alone - being in the cross-fire - one does so easily miss the bigger picture. A second one just standing by has a much better idea of what is going on because he/she doesn't talk and thus has more attention onto what is said. It happens every now and again when someone, so - when I listened to Total Biscuit for instance or some arguments that go on in Stargate, defends a thing he or she comes to, well, miss out on things that I as viewer would add. But while being in return the one who argues I come to do the same mistakes. So, I guess, once there is nothing left for me to discuss or to correct, I feel like that the world got shut down! I mean, I believe it won't happen on its own. Someone may always have an issue and be it just the tiniest of shits ever, and if it is just comming down to the question of what I expect. That alone as standing in the room without asking me directly is already one of those - mindboggling nonsensical situations. Am I supposed to know? Or not? How can I be? Or how can I not be? So, someone might say: Its not that! People just don't care and You (I) make too big of a wuzz out of it. Alright, but still something is misconceived that would concern me - yet - since nobody cares - what can I do? It is still the point that it concerns me and that the point of concern isn't insignificant - not only for me! You might not realize that it isn't just my concern but that of our entire civilization at some point - while, picture yourself in my situation and have someone just not understand what you do! How does it sound to say: "I'm trying to change the world!" - or anything else than "I am important!"? Or even just that! Nobody gives a crap and done - but - anyone any clues?
If I could talk open to someone I'd say: "Well - actually I'm trying to talk to Morons that simply do not understand the simplest of facts about the gospel. And the moment you say that you get Shitstormed by people that mean to know it all better!"
What finally adds the one drop that spills the barrel is that tiny incipid nonsensical attempt to analyze Omens or something. Like, I just was curious to look at my Bible - where - second symbol from left on the front reads DC for 'Deuterocanonic'. Alright! But - at the bottom of the C there are the letters 'APN', where I'm not sure anymore why I put them there. Now, that could already cause the mostest of mostings about knowing how that is now evidently not so my work or something. Its a dilemma because I don't have the answer!
In another way: I woke up this morning and was put into a state where I had to meet Megan face to face. The situation though was that she didn't know about me, and, me starting to talk was followed by someone else saying: "Why don't you tell her about Jennifer Lopez?". Well yea, that shit again! So yea, I once thought that she'd be the one. I was however arguing, well, trying to explain myself ... or rather ... say things that would argue against that counter-position without however knowing of it. Its a bit complicated. It is to avoid all of those nonsensical answers but yet making straight what I think is put into a wrong context. In the end it was just comming to the point where one said: "He (I)'s just confusing the story in his own right, as I said!". The only answer to that is the Seal of the One! Good Night!
Or is it not? Well, it is not if you wouldn't think it for a thing! But, what if you gave me a chance to proof it? Its similar to another argument I've had in my mind which was ... well ... I was playing terraria. Following my statements of the inner compass I'd be more lucky to dig into the right directions than others - sotosay. And so I was arguing: "Do you think I was looking at a map?" and the answer, to proceed the argument, had to of course be "Yes". That takes us to the dilemma that in certain conditions I'd have to have some device installed in my head that would allow me to read the map. So, X-Ray might be the answer, but, we can up the Paranoia and say: What if it is invisible to X-Ray? Wanna cut my head open? I've often tried to provide you with concepts to setup a safe setup. So, as a consequence of Enlightenment I can feel matter to a point that I can tell how full a milk-box is - for instance. "But but but". Yea, so we don't do anything again and everyone who just whistles a doubt is being trusted as though he were God, is that where we're at?
So, I'm in that situation where I've told my story, over again, and all that stands in its way are peoples say sos. Or, in the worse case, my stuff simply taken out of context - at which point - I'd be supposed to say "GG". So, in the hypothesis that I'm right, what could I say? Well, aaaah! The Seal of the One! There are two general projections: The one is that it turns out like a competition, or comming up with the craziest setups for a safe random generator. If nobody does however believe yet that it is a thing, that wouldn't ever be interesting. Another idea, based on the same thoughts, makes it so that the pressure isn't on me! So, its relative! So we can setup an ideological arena - similar, and I told that to Megan in that argument in my head, to Elijah vs. Baal. Know the story? Elijah challenged the Priests of Baal. Both were to setup an Altar and pray to their God, and the one who would answer their call would be proven the Living God! Randomizer Algorithms back and forth, God is greater than the Algorithm!
But I've got you an offering. The raw setup is the following: From a pool of lets say 24 pools of each 258 tracks we dice out a pool of 1024 tracks and let that be the lists played at random. In the minor setting that will require you to prepare USB sticks, maybe with sub-folders containing a few tracks. We then dice out the order in which I qeue them up into my winamp. Maybe take care that the tracks are anonymous - if that is within your interest (it might be a task of its own though). As safety I want a 64 GB SD card to record the session - and all of the present individuals permission to be on that recording - and to upload it to YouTube in case ... well ... I shouldn't have trusted you! So, you might check into some Hotel around here, mail me the address (Monica and Amanda should have my number - alternately you send someone my way [Boeckinger Str. 5 - 70437 Stuttgart Rot - 8th Floor - Sonnberger, usually there at around 5 pm]) - or whatever. Or just send an e-mail @ Na-Asim@web.de - all capsing the line saying "AT THE ONE" or something like that and await my response. But ... as we well know ... either you didn't read this or you just don't ... fare well with ... letting me know that you know ... or something like that. I guess its a confusing and convulated issue that is too much and/or too high for any ordinary person to understand. But, spoiler (@ myself) - there is no other way! At least none that wouldn't make it any more complicated for me than it is already!
@Jennifer Lopez
Of course #You guys know where or how to find each other or which ways I could take to know how to find you; But to someone like me who isn't full of Vile intent ... neither full of dollars that come dropping out of my arse ... it is in deed a bit more complicated! So, if @You got nothing else to do but making it more complicated than it is - shut the F up. And by the way, in case it wasn't a dead givaway, I'm not into @You anymore!
Neither into @Anna! Clear?
@...someone who I can call my friend
It had to be said - I suppose - and all my upsetness about that being a thing is basically nonsense compared to just dropping a simple line like that; But, how does it come to be a thing? I mean, they come crawling back up my mind as soon as there is an inch of a way to "ask" me if I might not be into them yet, and as far as I understand they understand how to make big enough of a wuzz about it to make people believe that I do suffer corresponding issues - which I do, but, as apparent now, not in the ways they might make it out to be. Things like "But why does he not say so straight up?". Its a problem of my own I guess, which makes me then look stupid when I answer that? So, is it weird if I then just prefer to shut up, back out and give a damn?
To be more accurate on the whole "Meltdown" thing ... it happened on those two particularly. Moving away from being so into emotions is the main reason why I'm basically 'gone'. Thinking that they might be my soul-mate, well, it could only be either of the two and so should I have realized while I was into J.Lo that it was no different while I was into Anna, but, that it seemed like a redemption from that shame! And a solution to my undertaking. Being a good person I'd say that it doesn't matter if that Love is a Love ... but ... what do such statements finally count for? The meltdown is a weird things, and I admit, sometimes I get close to it - not particularly on those two, but, I guess - yea - there is an 'ingredient' to it, a very specific one, one that is close to the idea of giving up ...
@Monica Bellucci
... which is where I might complete that statement that I made in my letter to @You. Or @Amanda. Basically I'm not sure where or how I got to it anymore, but, I guess it was in both. There is one way of giving up like calming down, relaxing, taking a break, letting go, ... easy! Just ... forgetting about all the trouble and nonsense. The meltdown is however a little bit more like ... "The Temptation" that we would speak of when combining the term with Love and Sex. It is for instance remarkable how I both times suffered severe emotional masochism. I would lay into bed and look for those thoughts that made me 'feel it', which after some point were simply thoughts that made me feel sad. This in some way is mixed with the decision that is to be made: Join Evil or not? If not, they aren't interested, do all they can to hurt you, and thats how we begin to cry. When weak it so might happen that around some desire to end it the temptation crawls up - which would in my case basically happen once I've lost all hope in anything else. I assume!
What I express as Satanism though is different! As repeteadly made clear - there is no ideological twist - or - no ideological connection to doing anything wicked. As of that it is initially stated broad and clear that it is a matter of Kink. Read the previous articles if you missed it. It is not one of the main points, but, repeatedly stated under the topic of God adjusting to our individual ... well ... 'Discrepance'. After all its all still 'Christian', or, 'Muslim'. The giving up is similarly different. It may not be, but, the person giving up to would basically either be good or bad - so - I suppose.
If you open the previous articles and search for the words 'Sodom and Gomorrah' or 'Discrepance' you should quickly find your way there.
To me at this point it is basically natural to be weak. That is however not the source of my 'decision'. Neither of various ideological twists like ... well ... at some point embracing crime as a positive. It was of course biased/influenced by the change of idea, but in that already homogenous to the fact that in some way, or quite actually, smoking weed does make me a criminal. Or, smoking weed makes me dependent on criminals - in which terms criminals are sotospeak a very important 'organization' of my life. It makes one wonder how much there is involved! Or how many non-legal things aren't done in likes of iniquity, but as a righteous ... and in that certainly self-less and heroic ... thing. I hated to see it, but, at the outer-most edge that even makes me question child-pornography! Naturally that would make us wonder about them Kids, and about how much what they say can be trusted - so that naturally we can't quite support it - just like that - or appreciate or like/enjoy it - but neither can I just and simply do the opposite although that would on a generalized basis be the appropriate position - more or less! In that sense we also come to things like ... well ... Drug-Wars. I mean, now that ISIS is in the rise I'm reluctant to buy my weed from Arabs. Sorry, no racism implied. But then there are things. That turkish chicken-wagon (selling fried chicken) is all of a sudden gone and there was an Arab who didn't seem to know how to even make French Fries. Uhm ... woot? Or, at our Main Station there used to be black-guys selling dope. Now they are all gone due to some massive police activity (no Joke) - and the place is now crowded by Arabs selling their stuff instead (quite true!). So ... the Black guys are still around, but, they have been driven off site! So I wonder ... hmmm ... I can definitely count 1 and 1 together, but, do I like the answer? So, I tried not to be racist jerk and I got to say ... judging by the quality and amount of dope ... not an option! And it makes me feel ... bad! But not the Michael Jackson like "good" kind of Bad! Yet so, once I buy the dope from the Black Guys, there is this ... well yea ... pitty I must feel for the Arabs who can't get theirs to the man! How weird is that?
This isn't a Nightlark walking! Its a fully grown Brontosaur! According to the Flintstones they make a good steak though! And so yea, am I being out-classed? Well, I guess in about as out-classed as an ordinary human would be in comparison to a Brontosaur - where quoting my favourite passage from the X-Files movie: "Scully ..." "yea?" "Run!" ... won't really cut all of it - but - it might be a start!
@Amanda Tapping
By the way: If it might be so that folks are desperately trying to figure out how to make the Furlingers look - I might have an idea! But well, apparently they are extinct! Well, ... I do however still want it to spin! Which is of course an issue. Thus ... I'm looking forward to hear what you guys think about it! And everything! Stuff like that is so much easier when there is an actual response that can be taken seriously! On the other end, lets call it fan-art! Its nothing too fancy either. Its one of those - they occur in Star Wars - those with the antenna-eyes, just that they got no antenna eyes but a third eye in the middle that is an antenna eye.
But so, I was asking if I can trust what I feel, I mean, it changed a little! It got warmer! The point is, it is just that kind of 'significant emotion' that would break that 'bond' of manipulation. It is a thing! Although someone might be intellectually convinced of this, if the person is so - well - "drilled" to act by the heart and the mind doesn't resolve that problem internally - the individual as a whole will be like split into two, like - well - enthrallment. If you can sever that basically un-emotional dependency, this intellectual blindness, you can get the act together! Thank you and ... till then! I must suppose!
(And by the way: If what I feel is right and #@You're formulating some Kinky stuff, and that is what I feel, then I should say I'm into it!)
55290.3725
The thing is the following: I wonder what I should do - or - just generally question, since at times it just feels odd or wrong, what about it. I try to reason as though I don't know already. Thus I would at some point write a re-introduction of the sexual concepts along with re-arranging the contents on the communications page - so - better overview - being a little bit inspired by the science sections of certain online newspapers. Not with thumbs, but, topic by topic - so - just generally less all mixed up or so. But when I so try to reflect about it - there is nothing that does come to mind. Instead - other things happen. Things that 'should' happen were all this "God Magic" real, this entirety of ... how to say ... "Holy Satanism"? Or so? Brainwash, Charms, things like that. So, it is already in that colliding with what I figured to be real ... if I think its not. So, at some point, the problem isn't that I think it might be wrong, it is just that the basis for it to become is missing. In other words: Its not that the reasoning is flawed, it is more just the perception of it, or, that me admitting to it doesn't change anything. Well, it gets more and more twisted and riddled the more heavily I doubt it. Thus, being reasonably, I can't quite logically assume or propose to start on this Level, but would also stress that those that would be willing 'at some point' to talk about it openly think of their shame about it. I mean ... well ... a twist of angle.
I was basically charmed by staring at an image of Amanda, and, the emotions would basically allow me to do anything she'd want me to do - so - that once the issue pedophilia came to mind I got totally hooked. It made me picture myself in a way that right away teased my desire to "capture" it in a package that I might at some point send to Monica, which turned out to become a Letter that I sent out like almost right away - as soon as I was "somehow" done. In that I corresponded to my inner logic, everything that felt right - totally ignoring ... well ... however totally getting into it, carried by the belief that my wildest dreams could become real.
So, naturally there is a vague expectation regarding the scope and volume of what might await me - in which a matter of the loyality is that I must be without will. So, the Theologia Deutsch is a writing that - so to the ordinary reader - would explain Christianity in that extreme way of self-sacrifice and so - in which terms the point of 'abandoning the own will' becomes an issue. I've read it as a manual for these kinds of things ... so ... in which place I am one of those that submit in that order of things. As a consequence I must attract images that correspond to this submission - giving examples of how deep I'm willing to let it go! Later then I've been so deep into it that, so it seemed, God withdraw the 'human' status from me, giving me a third hole - or a fourth when including the mouth - to so - allow me to feel being abstracted to the likes of something unhuman. It does then become weird however when questioning the position of getting a break, or so, the 'human freedom' to be human. It is that which I am willing to sacrifice - or did - in which case I can be called a puppy, a doll, a slave to my desires and lust - so - where all worse case scenarios you could draw about it are basically right, except those that convulate the essence of my relationship to God thereby. If it comes down to it, God is still everything. There where it is still true that there are no slaves in heaven - but - pet animals ... maybe? The thing is - if you called it menthally ill, then I'd say that I want to be menthally ill. I'm totally enthralled! They can make me do anything - whatever they want. Although ... singing and related stuff is more of a no go. Being a dancer doesn't work either. Basically anything that isn't - and cheating around doesn't work - sexual service. It is basically as extreme as it gets - internally - but - if you expect it to get any more worse in terms of an intellectual/ideological twist - like "Woops, I'm Evil!" - that won't happen! It isn't the case either! I can only say it - in the end - you should be able to feel that God wants you to know that this is the Truth! Because I can't say anything more than what I factually know, well, I cannot tell anymore that this is me! I'll have to see what they got in response - for naturally - I wouldn't be "sent" there if that weren't where I should be, so, match-wise. It is in that where the final statements reside, so, where it isn't what they are now, more to the point, but once it all settles in the will of the Lord. So, its commen to the point where I pray "Thy kingdom come" and see, well, this kind of sexual stuff therein. It is so if they cannot comply to my idea that it will be evident that its nothing in which terms this will be a different story. But while there is even just a little bit - I'm realistically their toy! It works by 'the charm' - I'd say - at least is that a big thing. What took me into it will keep me inside. The more they understand to tease it out, the more I will grow into it. It may be. Its, on that side, seomething I expect and wish to become a thing, so that naturally I hope that there is enough manpower behind it, which would also say that I'm not the only one of my kind - of which I have by the way already seen porns that I might take that way ... but ... I'm just trying to be me and fit into where I'm belonging!
When I believe that there is a reality where these things will definitely work out - it would just be a matter of taking me to that point, although, there might be a few things - like - ... I might be reluctant. So, in terms of my trans-gender thing, it would be a thing if it could be settled that I as formally required do it, out of my own self, but, that written into their design - which means - on the legal end I'm responsible for myself, just, giving them the say upon when and how. In the same way I'd sign in about anything ... sotosay. Woops, I digressed. So, while I believe that it is possible, or, the environment already there - it doesn't feel strange. It feels like wonderland. Once I doubt it there is however a big pile of issues that bother me. I guess this says as much as: If there is a chance - I'd skip the talking and let them do their thing... in terms of Monica even disregarding "these things". So, my mission as ... me - which is coupled to a variety of beliefs that wouldn't change anything but that I'd feel better. So, saying that I exclude my mission from my submission - that is - like saying that they were evil - so - I wouldn't want that to be mentioned anywhere. It is like the prayer to breaking the 9th seal goes - so - where the uber-pietious Christian is required to pray but not saying: "In the name of Christ" to so - get away from being locked on such silly formalities! Being baptised is already twice as good! And in that I feel perfectly fine! They'll have to come up with a plan - based on their desires - while in this total submission I feel the way I mean to exist. That is primarily primed within my trust in Monica. I just trust her - thats a thing and basically, if anyone is allowed to speak for me, in these terms, then it is her! The only way to change that would be to get her to tell me that its not a thing! Everything else is just annoying! If anyone has an objection to that, that person objects to me! And if it won't stop - I'd ask someone to make it stop! Thus my true idols, my real 'good examples' or icons - are in the likes of Freya or the mother of Princess Knight Catue. On the legal part, that was so a point, I want to have all of it settled independently, outside of it, so, basically so that getting raped into it in case I won't comply can happen! This isn't mindless though! I could so say that I've got enough of it, or, since the rape thing is a bit odd - it also gets annoying eventually - from the rapists standpoint. Either that or the opposite. I dare not to say - but - I'd expect "the worse". That is basically coupled to the point that I'm annoyed by my male self. Not because "he"s not alright or so, it is just not realistically me - aside of those things that make it myself.
I'm sure there are points where I'm required to be male - which is like - "the Manifestations" saying that my Maledom will still be required once I'm put off by being "grown" that way. So, I also don't expect it to be like total withdrawal ... but if ... then what matters is that that will be grown on this and that this legacy will be carried on properly! Then nothing else will be true! Testimony, Baptism, Enlightenment! After all Church is the English for 'Ekklesia', which means: Community. So, I'm in the end not more important than you or anyone else. And in case it isn't obvious: What I call "My Apostolic Wisdom" is something that everyone can acquire! I'm not trying to say that I'm the only one who can do that! Ask God for wisdom, the Bible tells you the same, and from that wisdom - wisdom will emerge - naturally! Then you should care to understand them - while - they might in the end do a better job than I can! That is my way of saying Good Bye, while, it would be a wonderful thing if it were - a true - statement of goodbye! The Lord gave His OK to it, matter of fact, well, might I put it this way: I am a prisoner - and - in that I'm submitting, like, because its hopeless to try and escape. And while there is just a thread of it remaining I'd be stuck to it. That unless it comes to a decision agains the Lord/the Father/the true and Living God. In some sense I need someone to rescue me - to take me out - put me into a bed and try to cure me. To say, once again, in these terms, I'm "lost". Hopelessly! I can't go back! I don't want to go back! It is however unreal for as long as I "bend" myself into it, for as long as the other part to it is missing. But, my "bending" should be recognized as the result of having been bent - so - I'm not bending! I'm just confused once I lack the confidence in it! Give me the confidence and I'm all in! In which I'm looking forward to be shameless! The dominant part in me is just the same, just that the Lust demands a different kind of action. So, I beg You @Monica and @Amanda to accept me as your humble Servant - I will do as you plese!
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