Delta Transition
Things change - and now is a time like that. Though there are things in this world, that will never change, some things do! So is the bottomline to say that nothing in life is really consistent, except for those things that are, but what is? If that is "too High" for you, if it sounds like nonsense, then your ambition is probably that to take it up with something challenging. Then though thee must be aware of the fact that a challenge doesn't ever come without a challenge! If 'challenge' means to you that you do as you're used to, you don't get the point of a 'real' challenge!
Lets say that the challenge were to open the door and to go out - for the time being - you won't solve it by painting a room in your house and calling it outside. In this case the house can be a metaphor for habits. Habits come in many tones and colors. I've seen it happening that when folks argue they are vastly restrained by their menthality - and that is a habit for me. Say - maybe you don't believe in God - then your habit here may be to look for the hole to keep pushing your oppinion. Thats a habit. It is what you believe in taken as the absolute. Simply put: An atheist does believe! Whether it is a positive or a negative. How can one say that he does/does'nt believe and in the same time regard the belief/disbelief of someone else unright? Well, so here the believer is arguably indifferent to the unbeliever - but - who's right? Who's opening the door to cross the road and see whats there? Then neither other folks should be taken by their sympathy on you. You must know yourself if you just believe in something someone else made you believe, or something you have figured yourself. But granted, not all of us have the stuff needed to properly check out everything. Its a dilemma - which is solved by simple suggesting that all that read this are believers!
As of that on the flipside of things there is humbleness. 'Humbleness' isn't a word that is to be used unto someone else! Neither is it an automatic acquisition when believing in something specific! It is a property to learn of things that are beyond your own minds arrogance. It so is a key to that door that cannot be opened otherwise.
In simplicity I won't write about myself and humbleness and that sortof stuff - as most of the time 'humbleness' is a matter of 'humbling the own self', it is a conscious step that is done 'at occasion' - when necessary. Some may be naturally more humble than others, but every perfect sphere has only one peak-point, and once it rolls by just a tiny bit, that point is changing - to say - we are all in about the same at that point.
To start with what may appear far from humble: I am important! The reason why I am important is that at some time a multitude of people will relate to me in order to "accomplish unity". So, "all eyes on me" kindof like. It is 'that point' that yet bothers me, so I write this. To you I may just be a wall of text, but in the end - I'm only human. So, what does this say in light on ... lets say - to those that have read about it - Enlightenment? Is it to say that its not at all 'Supernatural'? Well, things like these - cause trouble. And while I right here and right now might dedicate to just that one specific thing, my intention is to solve the problem and not just the one specific case.
As an example of banality I want to point out that I'm a smoker - for instance - as example. Now, that is a statement that may be totally trivial right now, but at some point two might have a discussion and one has a problem with the point that I'm a smoker. Since each and every human individual is likely to be in at least one talkative social environment - where people discuss various things of greater or lesser significance - this stance can be multiplied and the result is a split crowd. The "alternative" - well - would be that all agreed on everything and thus nobody would be talking and that, well, is usually bad to a vivid discussion. The, pardon, "more logical" folks would there though find the time to acknowledge that it is in deed a general problem that requires us to seriously focus onto a point of importance - one that doesn't split us due to legitimate oppinions.
That I'm smoking - to further the example - is here now representative for things that aren't going to change. Then I have to say: Before you go and fortify your oppinion in stone when it comes to matters of knowing and understanding the future as dependent on the present changes and constants, take care of your Enlightenment! I'm well aware of various negative images - but trust me when I say - the alternative may not be worse but is real! To not blabber from what you can't trust - arguably - have I had a dream. The relation was that life went on with me not changing my habits - though me being the one all refer to. So there was that 14 year old girl, a total slut and smoking. That is what people might see as the product of me not quitting - but the truth is - it is the product of our past already! 13 years - I'd say - is a 'common' age to start drinking and smoking - the hard stuff! In our time! It is not common like 'normal', but it is common in reference to 'extreme' cases where such begins even earlier. You might not know where to look, which naturally is supported by the fact that kids of that age don't want to be caught doing their things. To understand it more clearly try to not think of drug-abuse, but emotional stuff - or in other words: The start of puberty. If you need to post an intellectual oppinion about it, also heed mine: Me quitting with my habits is only going to widen the gaps - which is not to say that I 'have' to smoke - but I'd 'have to' propagate the good of not doing so where else my message regarding such things is an entirely different one - which to some extent, we might say - is what this is all about!
A reason for me to quit smoking would be if it improved my living - alright - which is however not achieved as easily as saying that smoking is unhealthy. I know that many smokers do not share my oppinion about smoking - but I'm also certain that quite as many didn't bother to ask that question as seriously as I did; And that is to say that the answer isn't 'supposed to be' negative. A reason for me to stop smoking would be to have enough Marijuana - to say - alternatives - although - tobacco is the actual alternative to Cannabis. And sometimes good as 'buffer' for in-between, so, I say - its unlikely that I quit.
But if you read past writings of me where I write about my life you're going to read words written by a man who is convinced of the fact that his life sucks! This is now representative for the things that are going to change. It is evident why! Or - should be! If you blamed my smoking - well - errrd - better luck next time - to say: Let that be my problem!
Since the recent 10 month the suckage of my life has been fortified by one major issue: Cash! Or well - that is, relative! More to the point: My own habits! Ding? Well, more specifically: My nourishment! Or - my tidiness? There are lots of issues! I mean, to draw yourself an image of me at my "worse", you should now smell a very strong stench comming from my mouth. You would re-consider your oppinion about me - scan me once more from a different perspective and see all the many things that are wrong with me. The thing is that anything related to hygiene and tidiness - throughout the board - except for washing my hands - is not a habit I have. I maybe get to wash my clothes once a month, and brush my teeth in about as much. An upgrade to "before" is that now I do more regularly shower, so, whenever I wash my clothes I have an occasion to do so. Because I am however very tidy - in the idea - I take care of separating my trash. Because I have no trash-can though, my trash-can used to be 'that corner'. An upgrade therefrom, its 'past tense' - which doesn't say though that my working place is entirely clean! Elaboration:
There is a saying that goes: "When the unclean spirit got cast out it will travel the lands and find other spirits and think: Hey, lets go back - and it will be worse as before" - Jesus Christ. Its a long story that I would tell you about it - one that I can't guarantee to be free of insults and accusations - or, I basically have to talk bad about almost everyone who would appear in that story which in short goes: If I have to justify myself, whatever I'm working on is cursed. So, when my family advises me to find a job and I won't I have to justify myself for it - would refer to my own project - which they at that point have no interest in supporting; Which means that at some point it gets easy to just sabotage me that way. But because cursed means error, and errors can be learned from, it is also good after all. It should not be about that though - but about my habits. Me justifying my acts is like not having the right habits, so, the habits I evolved were those of defending my habitlessness in those regards. I was tidy at doing my jobs - at least those that I acknowledged for me. There were other duties that were mine because nobody else felt responsible for them other than pushing them on me - and those, well - were the things I then got upset about. Because once I slendered a bit too long all would - so the idea - feel like I'd never do it they began to notify me of the things I'd yet have to do and because it sucked I began to more and more not care about it. Whenever someone should in the future bring 'this' story up - as that what else I write here wouldn't suffice for whatever reason - I can certainly go in further depth and extensive detail, not a problem at all! To come to the pointe.
The idea I share with that verse is to say that artificial changes don't really work out. Or as another passage of the Bible reads: "When cleaning a Vessel, shouldn't one first clean its inside?" - or something like that. So, when I have to break down my own habits that I evolve as part of my own interest - just to so comply to external standards that may as well be entirely ransom - I'm not going to be a happy person - and an unhappy person isn't liking to do its job! No matter how much one would suggest that its just supposed to be so - that one then also has to like doing their job - it's just not how it works!
So, to the point we might say that my life sucks/sucked because I didn't have the habits to unsuck it. Which is in my oppinion an overstatement because I was good at doing what I deemed my duty. But under cross-fire there was just no space for me to breathe. During the last 10 month it got clear to me - where - simply starting with my files. One might argue about 'my files' however they want, to me they are an essential thing. Naturally if all files - so, backups and sorted folders - are a total mess where finding a specific file is more of an adventure than an easy pick, it is important to my personal living that I get things sorted. There I'm into giving it time - while next to doing a little bit of programming it took a few month until I could sort various ... its also a longer story ... things on my mind into proper spots, making room for focussing on other things. The most recent example would be the Manuals to Kink 1 and 2. It takes time to do the work - whatever the result may be - to have answer to those bugging questions. Add to it that in some way I have to also have results 'in time', and the result is that I have very little freedom in picking what I should do.
These recent activities had it with them that I had to spend in about 80 bucks per month on dope - which on my budget is basically everything that I have left for myself next to covering the basic needs like food. I barely buy normal drinks like water or lemonade because I can barely efford it. What I drink is coffee and tea, while tea is one of those things I just (re)integrated into my habits as of recent. To give you an idea: Last month all money I had left were a few cents, and the last week of that month was already very very spartan. Because I once lost a bag of weed and an almost full bag of tobacco I made a loss - but I survived it. Now, the not so epic twist to the story is that this month I'm prepared to not smoke any weed, and that because I had to buy a pan. A pan alone won't do it - I also needed a salad-bowl that I can also use (saving money) as a cereal bowl - and a cutting board. Three basic things to just upgrade my nourishment habits. From living on the cheapest meat, untoasted toast and a few sauces (ketchub, burger and garlic) for taste - all from the fridge and thus cold - I'm now exploring the potentials of a frying pan and proper breakfast. Breakfast will be implemented to get me out of my bed sooner, having a chilled out wake-up experience to be at work sooner - and the frying pan to round up the weekend experience at least. This should once more make my life suck less. So, issue solved! Which makes the initial banality end with another banality. To say: Arguing about it isn't worth the effort and the time!
And so - changing the example into cooking - "you now go and learn to cook!". Do you have the time? Do you have the menthal capacity? Or do you have someone else cooking for you? Well, if you are cooking yourself already - I don't wanna dare say anything negative - or positive - I just can't relate to it that simply. But clear is that it takes time - at least those few moments to think about what to make this evening or tomorrow; Spending time on thinking of what to buy - things the mind just needs to have time for at first to begin with. Just bending knee over first - well - might do the trick. I however got into it because I have the desire, the wish, to acquire some more skills there. I was joyfully looking forward for the day I'd have some money again as though it were Christmas. This is - to me - a clear indication that I have enough menthal capacity available to dig it properly. Then however I wouldn't ever get to diggin it without ever opening that door. The idea was close to just take 20 bucks instead and to fetch some dope. Now I have to see whats left nearing the end of the month - which is - as good as it gets.
Because it is about Logic!
Everyone will need to find its very own way! That is my point. The one idea says that people don't work unless forced, others say that people won't work until they can't do what they'd want to do, others say that people won't ever really do anything but what they want, others say that people need to be supported in what they want to do. Some say that concurrence is good, others say that its bad. I by now have to say: The only way to ensure that our life follows a certain standard is to set one up. But there is a downside to that. If the standards are too high, some just won't find the necessary motivation to comply. The perfect example might be the Church! (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints of course!). How many are put off from joining that Church because they got rules like - no coffee? I mean, no coffee - that is definitely a deal-breaker! From the other angle - well first - against the Church I have to say: Whence the Salt doesn't salt anymore, what is it good for? Well, it'll get clear in just a moment! At first there were no rules. But people used chew-tobacco in church, which well, made the floor to be a mess and Joseph smith prayed for guidance and the result was the Word of Wisdom (which one should read to get the proper idea). This word of wisdom is nowadays the basis to many if not all of these rules - excluding the chastity rule. The result is a clean church that looks like a church should look. Clean, sterile, neutral. So, no coffee or tea is served - because its hot - which is making organizing church feasts just so much more effortable and easy. I mean, that is like the essence of it. It follows a biblical complaint that at celebrations people would share food that is inaprpriate for nazirites - which in comparison would be like a party where all foods are somehow mixed with pork, thus basically not respecting the muslim population. (And by the way: It is not so that I haven't seen Tea being served at a Mormon party ... or the classic: Salad with corn! (Because corn is also one of the things denied to those living by the Word of Wisdom.)).
The thing with standards is the following: Lets say there is some job where driving a lot of cargo back and forth is basically a must, so one would need a Jeep and at best also a wagon thing to hook up at the back I don't know what the proper word is though. In other words though it is so that this job wouldn't ever exist if there were nobody with the ... well, what is it? I mean, some person with the interest to do something where that is required would look for that. Because I'm interested in the Bible I have one. Because my interests require me to have more I have more. Because I don't have a sophisticated home I have my bag to put them into. That is part of my equipment. It is not so that the joy in having these things is now a criteria for doing what I do. Thus, the individual interest is the first thing. Then there is the standard. When standards comply to interests the interested are required to comply. But, all standardization wouldn't change the fact that things in the end would yet remain to be a 'do it yourself' kind of thing. Because that doesn't universally work we're so spinning in circles while the world remains as it is. Therefore at first there must be the Holy Spirit who encourages the individual to act in deed of the society - which ascertains that the society isn't enslaving the individual but that the individual acts on Holy merits. If we cannot trust in that, we cannot break this cycle of doom!
Now well, Paul, that ... some might wonder why the Mormon Volume called 'the Doctrine and Covenants' speaks bad about him. Many christians, including myself, refer to him. But notice: I do so because there are things that are right while belonging into the context for Christians; But I avoid him where I can. So - my Apostolic wisdom tells me that Paul was an impostor who appeared within some Chaos that emerged at some point. The picture is that there were many writings around - some of them were fake - and while the Apostles couldn't be everywhere and the individual churches are basically comprehended in growth, thus not really solid in the word, the conspiracy took place that alongside spreading the word of Paul the rest was slowly vanishing. As something to keep in mind: Peter was killed in Rome, John was imprisoned on an island, the rest - well - I suppose that some went to China ... but ... others to some other places because obviously - they could do better there or so it was the plan! But be it as it may - Paul wrote to some Church accusing them that all they did was drinking. If that was the case - we do not know. I mean it! Although we might say that we know through Paul and thus its evident - it isn't! And then as well, Alcoholism is possibly the worsest thing at all! Yet once they can do what they should - ... well, the point is - who can nowadays safely tell? There is no educated and enlightened Christian Majority that has accurate statistics and research going on. The mormons are anti-alcoholic, they wouldn't know and in that sense exceptions are to be expected for yet other reasons. Its a huge mess - yet so a reason to start all over.
When right is wrong
someone needs to find the conclusive Logic. We've had it today at work for instance that the topic '2 girls 1 cup' came up. Actually intended as a hoax, well, our Alibi-Nazi started to go all out about how not acceptable that is in any way shape or form. Now, two of us, me and someone else, couldn't just leave it at that but he yet had a few points that at least required me to remain silent. Narrowed down - the statement that it is 'abnormal' and 'menthally ill' are things that are anyway somehow occupying my mind in context to Kink. So, despite knowing it really any better, the other guy and I went on to argue in defense. Yet we weren't making things up. At some point so the issue of 'media influence' came up, at which point I argued that men can't be allowed to enter a public bath where children are at - period - which continued in my head to the point of saying that some extremists might consider joining IS (the currently ongoing extremist-islamistic djihad). The topics of "How Bad are Video Games?" and "Is Cannabis a gateway Drug?" are also closely related.
It took that other guy and me to chill out with a cigarette to exchange thoughts about it - where - he and I do actually have a certain distance to that kind of Kink; So, we came to talk about it from a more distanciated and less extreme perspective. Both of our positions would basically turn out to be, relatively taken, identical to that of our Alibi-Nazi - which is to once more add weight to the point that the other guy and I were so, in a good guy/bad guy setup, playing the bad-guys in said initial discussion. I had to think about it - and figured that despite I would speak out in defense of it can't really understand it. Pro or Contra though - aside of one point: As a sadistic thing. I mean - the masochist that is devoted to suffering the will of the sadistic individual has to have, by law of the nature, joy in such things as the sadistic individual demands it so. - Which is now, maybe, from one extreme into the other but then also into an extreme that I do heavily defend. A defense in which I would point out that now someone who just drinks occasionally (liquors) has to be called an alcoholic when drawing the boundaries too black and white.
And so there also is that one statement some people might hate me for: As major change to our ideas of morale I would suggest that we change our understanding of child-abuse to the point where we say that it is good if we can find natural nymphomaniacs and give them into proper care instead of pretending that they can become just as though they weren't!
Then also, at some other point, Perversion can be called an Art! It may not be everyones thing, but neither is soccer or boxing. I mean, there are people that would, if they had the say, prohibit soccer all along. No more Hooligans, no more "braindead" fan-galore, just ... peace and free Love!
Sodom and Gomorrah
What was Gods issue with those places? I mean - when now watching, what was it? Scorpion King I guess - Sodom and Gomorrah are put into a vision that is appropriate for the audience. Thus, as the movie wasn't intended to be rated impossible, like, even too much for Hentai Audience, so, more like Saw twisted around (where the Psychoes are the Majority), the place gets around much like our modern day metropolis with an ancient setting. I mean, one should definitely read the couple of Verses in the Bible that speak about to really get the bottom idea of what is factually covering the entirety of our matter of fact knowledge about it. What we see there is a twisted society - where the majority of folks is simply, well, I guess - yea - the bad guys within any Hentai movie. Key phrase: "Please leave these strangers alone - here take my daughters - rape them instead!". It is a slim line from that to what I consider my Kink, where now - well - we might review the story about Lot and his wife from a different Light. The story tells that Lot was warned of the Destruction, advised to move out, but whoever turned around to look at it would turn to salt. So, people effectively lived there - including Lots wife who did matter of fact around. Also did it happen that it were Lots daughters that made him drunk to get pregnant from him. I guess a part of it is what we nowadays understand as Stockholm syndrome, and to be entirely honest, I may say that I'm suffering the same!
My life sucks - and sometimes the prospect that some rich woman might spouse me comes to my mind, it seems real, and once the focus is moved to the point of a decision - I can't convince myself to really dig it. Maybe so the psychology of my Kink, that I want to be Raped, is the inner cry for help. It is then also a matter of simple reasoning - which may otherwise be known as a primary target of effective brainwashing. I'm supposed to live my life - period. Wasting time and energy on believing that something like that may happen seems to be, well, a waste of time and energy. Thus I'm conditioning myself to suffer, since that is how I must adapt in order to survive.
On a similar note I give the idea, that frequently arising Kinks of 2 girls 1 cup-ish things - so in context to the sadism/masochism issue previously mentioned - are a symptom of either being lacking behind in something or the opposite; So that it is an actual punishment, an inch of credibility.
As natural mechanism it is however reasonable to suggest that a Masochistic Kink is the result of preparing for a restrained life. But that - and that is where my theories basically emerge from - is again to some degree a matter of the individual psychology. Some are just tough and would turn out dominant - and that under the very same circumstances.
And so God sent fireballs to rain down on the two cities - while scheming around a little, thinking of what if Sodom and Gomorrah had furthermore grown in question of the consequences for today; Well, should make us understand that there may be nothing really romantic about it - leaving that small symbol of salt to that group of people that are, out of question, into such things. Or is it just me who does see a significant difference within a locally isolated, mutually acknowledged way of entertainment and a widespread political force?
That God is pictured in dislike to that Kink is however nothing I would really oppose! First and foremost we may after all start to dream about our future to think about the "political" route to take - in which sense I want to emphasize all the good things of that what "we" have achieved thus far. In that sense I'm glad that there is no state called Sodom or Gomorrah today - while those that just figured that they feel different about it should definitely also read the next chapter. Sodom and Gomorrah would just be a political menace - at least that is the feeling that is given to me about it. On the other hand does God have to take a stance about it - which is so not just black and white! In a generalized way there is no way any sane person could advocate that as good for all! Period. This however upsets those few that remain, which are those for whom God created the Good side of the Devil. It allows them to enjoy now at first what they enjoy in sight of the Lord without abstracting Him - so - without being required to change what is the general, public, global and universal idea of God - thus however acquiring a certain guilt or shame (feeling of) - which is finally comforted in that alternate understanding of God, whereby an Angel is in the end nothing else but a program written by God that He can take control of - of course - at any point in time. It is a rollplay, but, God plays along with it! That makes it absolute! Or - absolutely valid! There is more than just God and the Devil though - as I'm inspired to see - while inspiration at this point is enough. The logic here is that God aligns to us, where in general I see three realms: There is the Holy, there is the Heathen and there is the Satanic. The Satanic exists in 'hard contrast' to the Holy, the Heathen simply covers the space in between and would basically compromise anything focussed around idolatry, worship of humans, animalistic cults - well - it is similar to the Satanic in that it exists in some abstraction to the Holy but is in a lesser need to compensate all that extreme. We might draw it in figures of percentages, although, to the Heathen Bulk it would be easier to understand that a more generally less God-centric way of life yields a lesser grade of abstraction. Here Worship is already just there for the point of there being some origin or higher force - which might change from "race" to "race" - where I don't really want to add anything at this point. Basically I'm dreaming of some dynamic MMORPG-ish social hub for having an interactive visual comprehension to relate to since after all its yet not entirely up to the individual alone.
And there was ... something ...
Something about the differences between Unbaptised, Baptised and Enlightened. Or - to think about it in terms of 'depth' - there is that picture I get, basically introduced by voices (uhm, well - I have to say, since the more often I just slackily use that word the more I might support a very very bad misconception, that I know different kinds of voices. Don't listen to them at all! Just don't! Unless you have a steady relationship to God and the safety of protection and guidance!). They so say that "they", whoever is speaking, can't look at me like this anymore - where I think about my situation. So, it should be clear that one can basically give a dump on those voices - what then came to matter was to think about a close idea of where that expression is comming from. It took me to a hypothetical individual, maybe, that does in general experience a great sympathy for me but nothing that would suggest anything like love. The emotion however is nearly identical to some emotions that I totally experience as Love. Its a bit like ... 'worldwidetelescope.org'. Its an amazing site. Take a look at some star and zoom in. Zoom further in. Deeper and deeper - just onto a star - or click onto what looks like a galaxy and see how the scene zooms onto a star that later turns out to be a galaxy. (There is a site connected to it, basically it are three ... I forgot the name of the telescope, but, people that are interested in helping to survey our galaxy can help browsing through thousands of images to get that done. It is some Nasa thing - maybe try checking out their site. Its something with St.... whatever. Well yea, to upgrade the cooking example - why don't you just ...?).
So, in that emotion I experienced 'there', that "point of Love" was just a tiny white dot that I would describe as: "works like a plug". I don't mean to say that someone who has Sympathy with me would actually love me then, that wouldn't be good advise! It is much more accurate all in all to stick to the point that there is no Love. I only experience the same thing as Love because ... either or. But like there seems to be a plug where I have none, I got a plug in regards to Sodom and Gomorrah where others might not. Although this might not be initially helpful, it is quite important to help settle a point of relations. That is not to say that I'm super awesome because I have ultra-deep vision or something, though it would be true, it is to help you get an idea of how far off some of my ideas are from yours - naturally. Whether it helps you better to say that I'm just seeing things or to play with it in a supportive way - well - that is your thing. There is no way - in my oppinion - that reasoning about it will help make it any clearer! The only way to really get it right is that each individual does the right thing, uhm, to say, it won't get any clearer unless the whole thing can be seen from a different perspective - uhm - to say that once we can sort things out on a clean and logically equalized Level - thus - from Enlightened to Enlightened or at least baptised. Well, certainly, this is a good "cloud" to begin drawing conclusions to have a reference for later. With that I close this sequence and - have a good night! Maybe God can also give you a Demo! (But, don't use my name - except - for your own regards to question whether I'm that Israel that Isaiah 41+ talks about. Which is yea, a good point! It is more important than it might seem! At some point, that I'm made aware of, you will be required to know it. God will so basically play hide and seek, so, that after you have come to know Him He will hide and show Himself again when you figured the right directions. Then you will have to believe in it to see what He does in return. Before you get there you for sure will have to get your paranoias sorted out! Thats all!).
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