Under the Line

Isn't it right?

End of the discussion - but - who's talking? I'm crazy - or - my view is yet bigger than thought? There are -> Issues <-, but - putting it easy: Some might say that there is no celebrity that is (still) reading this site. Or ever did? Well, yet I behave and I have a hard time shaking it from me, as though they were. Or, somebody is. Whatever. Thats what it would be about however. Or otherwise, whom should I be directing myself to? Here as well, its not as simple as to say: Keep it general. I do or did my best and for the most part it is and yes in deed - I'm looking at everybody, kindof, when complaining about those things. Yea, so, what? You could ask me that, whoever you are, and then - try to think about it. You yourself, and wonder: Do you not know?

I have literally no clue how to formulate those sentences that I don't even have in form of words (duh) on my mind yet. I once heard someone wondering how mind works if it is incapable of thinking in words. Well, what is a word? Ever thought of that?
Nuh, (*looking at some part of my "imaginary" audience*), don't look away! Don't try to make my what I just wrote sound more stupid than it is! Can you not give me answer? Then you not reach up to my standard. Ergo, so you better shut up!
It is of course complicated making such statements in written form. We might say: Its the remainder of an eventuality that ... - despite my sincerest efforts I was incapable of removing from what is otherwise ... a harmony ... (of mathematical precision). Though it is a burdain [something] avoided it is not unexpected and thus not beyond a measurement of control - which has led you - inexorably - here!

"You haven't answered my Question!" - and it is a harmless one! Have you - ever thought about it? It is of course so that the answer would be either yes or no and not: That I have no clue what I'm talking about! But I admitted it? Well ... thats not what I wrote! I have an idea that isn't present in words and somehow I would need to translate it into words. I have a core issue however - something that is going to be a matter here in the end - and as it turns out has this what I've written so far become an excellent 'beginning' thereto. But first of all, I'm not going to take back anything sexual because there is nothing that needs to be taken back. Even though some things may be wrong, premature or unclear - the goal should be to make things right instead of just shift+del and gone.


Is it a wrong way?

Yes - and - then? Then we get there and we wonder, well, duh - now - it would be kindof ... something ... if - you know? Same ol'. So, waiving - sounds familiar? Or do you not even know that word? You might have heard the corresponding word in your native language once or twice, and - it might be one of those words we get measured by. In the end. What am I waiving on? Or, how do I use the word regularly? Do I rather say: "I waive on it" or do I rather say: "Well, you'll have to waive on it!"? [Its funny how the times can change! Once you read it so and you think: Oh damn, not again! And then you read it anew and think: Oh well! Yea - how was I ...?].
Maybe a clear cut would be necessary. Does what I write about not make sense? In this case 'Yes' or 'No' can behave like a social measurement. People who read this may have their oppinion - and I'm sure that things 'do' make sense. Right and Wrong is a totally different issue but - so - as it makes sense the question were, in case things were wrong, why!

Then certainly - and that is leading into the main subject - there are a few things that may yet be unclear and thus somehow not making any sense. Point A here in this writing is this core idea I previously wrote about and that is round about my intellect. But its a bit funny, however trivial, since: Either you'd say that I'm stupid and thus you'd re-affirm me in my Kink or you'd say that I'm smart - which is where so the problem unfolds. So, it is however stupid to get into this like that. The question were: How do I work with my intellect? Right or Wrong? Do I use it for what I should or do I use it for nonsense like ... "this"? But, instead of pholosphying or theorizing I'll "say" the following: Once I make more sense of some of my Sexual issues - how many do believe that I expect something to happen from it? Or once you look at epistle one, how many do believe that I expect some immediate result? From a different and not too convulated position it is simply me adding something onto a topic. I'll expand. I move forward. If what your belief is that what I'm on is wrong then of course those things would seem wrong to you. I however do believe that certain things need fixing and while someone might believe that I'm immersed into something I shouldn't be immersed into - the point however yet is that right is right and in a discussion about Right and Wrong it is my duty, kindof, to point things out that I consider right. So, maybe it is certainly wrong once the idea is that people don't wanna hear any of it - but what do 'you' want to hear about? I'm certainly not the only mind on this planet and I've heard many people say smart things or smarter things than I could - things that follow my oppinion; But so, the process of now taking it all together, why should I be the only one there while Christendom as I repeatedly do have to make clear is a 'Social' religion as the verse goes: "Wherever there are two or more assembled in my Name I will be amongst them". "Fuck me" about it as much as you'll please - it changes nothing about it yet!
Don't you see? While some say that God has to be with me because I'm the Prophet they make it seem like He ain't. So perhaps they do not understand that I mean to tell you as from what I can tell that Christendom is a social religion that emphasizes the existence of a compound of at least two - so - which makes it so from a plain scientific standpoint, in advancement according to some of my thought, that the variety of life will gain a much better contrast. [...]. I'm not telling anyone to come here and sit down on my chair and do my work for me - thats not social! Believe it!

So do I have to say that Sex isn't the only way - it is however an issue somewhere. So can I either pretend that I'm seeing everything entirely different than I do and thus fail because I for a fact do only see things the way I do, or I'll rely on others that see things their way to ... show what the way is like for them. At the basis of it all there is [...] guess what! Or who?


Changing the mindset - instead of believing that I'm wrong one might believe that I'm right and thus an unclear item somewhere would need to be fixed while others speak against it. Now, if that is "too much for your mind to understand" then I got you bottomed, rooted, annihilated, squared and folded, flash gordoned, ... Messatsu! Fatality! Flawless Victory!? Well ... whatever!
Right?
Right!


Wrong? Well - lets not bother with un-necessary detail! If you want to - you might wonder at first too, how many at all do care!


A suggestion were, once trying to sort out a significant topic, to talk about Righteousness. You might wish to conform to saying that - whatever the case - the way things are there is no difference to whether I'd be righteous or not. And once the topic is there its just one step away from being about how God is supposed to punish and reward us and - so - instead of talking about me in that regard ... you might very well see the very clear and evident factor of you in all of those concerns as well!

Klinik.tv - yes (in case you entered it into your browser) - is in deed no "felesharing" or "free streaming" service, but, it is! Secret! Well, nope! It is now the ... Eleventh-ish Chapter of my life, plus - which is now about to conclude. Just one more week to go - and then its over, for now. So, Klinik.tv is a "TV Channel" for Hospitals of the Evangelic Diakony here in Stuttgart - it is an employment measurement where people that receive Social Funding are for various purposes (I'm there to get a Kickstart into having a structured life again) - while the plan is to make films for the Channel. That is about selecting a topic that can be filmed here in Stuttgart and by general means is about picking some fountain or square of the city, filming it/getting it filmed and doing the journalistic work of having some text to go with it. Alternatively we're a lot on tour in the Wilhelma, our City Zoo. So, I had a very convulated start. I wanted to make something about "Meditative Martial Arts" - but - for simplicity it got censored into being about Tai Chi. So, over the course of the Months I was working on the Text and now that a first cut is finished and a few derivative versions - my feelings are mixed. I have to still say that my passion is with Games - and see that my Teenage dreams, well, were just a desperate way of finding something to go for. Somehow.
I wanted to make movies - that simply because I was inspired to tell stories - but in the mean time I don't see myself as Story Teller anymore. I was anyway less into telling a story than into creating the Universe it would unfold in, and that is basically what I'm doing privatly at the moment. Yea, beside ... this. I'm crafting my own Universe with its own Physical Laws and conditions. So, what I wrote about Physics is the 'through-print' of my having read about those things that I wanted to know more of - that fascinated or interested me alongside. In that term my "high end" science is to suggest that the Schwarzschild Radius is a multitude of times larger than the actual "ball of mass" within the Black Hole can be. I figured for myself that the density required to cause strong anomalies alike needs to be close to or above atom-core density. But eventually I have to resort to the point that I'm bad at math and thus most of the Theory of Relativity is Chinese to me, and whether Gravity is a Force of attraction or of accelleration - well - I don't care!

I have written big and fat about Zen in the past - and while most of it might not print through here, Zen is all the way I went on my Tai Chi movie as well. I took my time and moved on as I felt it would be time for that. But thats not the point here. Somehow my mind keeps to revolve around Myth of Agoraeyah, and thereby the question would be like: Do I focus on getting my Planet up to snuff and somehow feature a rudimentary Solar System around it - or do I begin with the Engine on the bottom? As it turns out did I begin this Chapter by not doing anything but tweaking a few things here and there to have a blank slate - and then - the first Building Block went into ... ["secret"?] ... however, I started with Galaxies. The idea at some point was to have the Planet located at some spot in the Universe that features an awesome view onto a nearby Galaxy. From there I generated the demand that I want to have an easy way of modeling that "starspace" to my desires without just simply pasting a texture(d quad) into the skybox. Now I'm basically trying to solve some basic Elementary Physics model in combination with my own Random Generator to get a certain Logic into it. Way out of the way?
Well, yes and no!

There never was a 'clear way' other than: 100% inspiration. While I so forced myself into the work on those inspirations I've had I failed - however, at least in terms of those other inspirations that were yet to come. Good or Bad? Well - if you want to get to the point that I'm stupid or something, or not, well - thats the topic, isn't it?


If that Tai Chi film of mine were good you could use it against me - so - an idea! You could say: But! One could still say 'But', like, that I wanted it to be that way, But, that would mean that it 'would have to be' different, for "You", eventually, and so forth. Taking me as the regular oppinionated person who is supposed to be a citizen and so forth ... not my game! For Christs sake I must come to the point where I'll say that you need to learn to understand who I am! I mean, for real! So - what is finally true? That I have to be the way "you'd" say, or not? But so, yea, right, the movie might be good as well! Maybe it is! Whatever! Yet so you see how there is my wondering about what is fact! So, did I want it to succeed? Or not? Well, I'd say: If I wanted it to succeed and it didn't - I may after all just be incapable!
Its of course the same old story of trying to teach a donkey how to play chess. If you however think that I want to note that my theory of human individual is a solid and fixed fact you're wrong! It is still, as of yet, science! An ongoing process! But, I'm pretty sure - or after all note that some things do and others don't go properly into my head. And the more someone does just out of bold oppinion reject my idea, the more I'm entertained by consolidating on the facts and it'll get clear who lands which punches in which movie!

#TheAntichristSucks


Monkey! I mean - I'll be sure that what I claim can be defended! If I speak of which things happened to me I speak of things that did happen. Who however would try to make people think he/she were awesome because it can be looked so that he/she is landing those punches then sorry - all I do is shaking my head about it right now. Thats, well, Cannibalistic Love! "Love your Enemy". A Friend and I once had the discussion about Hannibal, Lector, while to him he is a figure that combines the human talent of learning within a Cannibalistic psyche. He learns not for the Love of a thing but to use it to rule upon others. I said something and it made him think of Kant. Well, to me it seemed, from a technical standpoint, that one simply takes all the good properties a human being might neutrally evolve and embed a sick mind into it. He then came with some funny comparison for school. Teachers say: "You have to learn that something good becomes of you" and the pupil might respond: "Like Hannibal Lector?". Naturally it would make sense for him (the Antichrist) to make me look the way he does/would - but that only works for as long as its truely just one like the other - simply - "a figure of speech".
That why its funny to finally watch the Matrix Revolutions and imagine the Antichrist to be Neo. Or, maybe the Matrix Reloaded as well, just so - to see his ego explode.

Well, of course, its just one like the other - but naturally - he wouldn't want to go that one Level deeper! And that is my 'realistic problem'. Because I am made aware of the possible responses that might come from individual to individual, there are ... "those". Once I'm in a bad mood - I see how everything "sings" in their favour. Or - not in their 'favour', but, I for instance can't tell whether the Music I enjoy hearing is made by an Antichrist or not. If I believe yes it makes me want to throw up or something, otherwise its all fine.
So, there are two ways. Either I'll just say what I believe is right and he can tell all and whatever - its all about the same then - or I come to evolve into building those things on facts and then he'll have to attack those facts. That way the Antichristian reign creates something like a semi-realistic model/concept of reality and that stinks!
You should see the same once it effects You! Thus well he/they might/would go and try to get as much of what they discard into their model - but that sucks twice once something thereby does depend on God. So, however, they'll laugh and say: Easy! Because to them, who is God? The Antichrist! Or otherwise some weird and strange Astair Bubble that is a mix between each and everyones individual wondering and their illusive input - and stuff. That is to me what in Isaiah 40+ is concenred once it goes in detail on building an idol. Thus, their pickle is that people will need to be lectured to accept that as God while getting them tereby tuned onto a certain frequency that follows their mindset. Thus sometimes its stronger and sometimes weaker, and all that depending on their need to indoctrinate a certain individual. Thus my ideal religion is Gnosis since it does circumvent all that Bullshit by narrowing the legal construct down on the simple fact. Those that say that God cannot be factuated is lieing as I know differently!
The Testimony is the first step. Then comes Baptism and then Enlightenment - and that is progressively more and more 'beyond' anything else. One might argue that the Testimony can be faked like via Astair or what not, but so then, once it is the clearly strongest convincing factor in the Universe, what cannot be Faked? I'd say that even if God spoke so all people on this Planet could hear him, removed the Big Bear from the Sky and drew a smiley onto the sun, people would yet clearly state that all that is simply fake!

If God gave me the power to shapeshift - people would still blame it on something, Alien Technology or Satanic Miracles, so that 'The Seal of the One' is basically already as good as it gets. Thereby I don't mean to push onto the Movie itself but the skillset implied. Can you stomp? How long can you go? Can you wall-jump? Survive an Agent? Fight Smith? (That is: Getting into the Neo vs. 200 Smiths fight multiple times to cover the entire fight over the course of time while in-between doing other stuff - like, rescuing Niobe - that means - the Freeway scene featuring Niobe getting in and out - including the Morpheus catch-up). Just saying!

I however won't say what I can or cannot do because I don't do it! I only click on those spots that I see are "clickable". In essence that is however not how it works though, but, pssshht, thats a secret! Its a thing because the closest bet of the Antichrist to survive this test would be to do it in parallel to me and to somehow see the things I see - but psshht, thats a secret!
Until then he'd want to gain as much headstart and clearway as possible - but psshht - that should be obvious! At best he'd avoid it entirely!

But back to basics! The big problem left for me was my intellect. As my Kink clearly aims for stupidity, I can't really let go of "whatever it is" - call it - a brain. But on the other end I feel milked like a milk-cow. Because I am who I am, etc., I all of a sudden have to solve all the possible and impossible problems of the Universe or otherwise I'm proven hypocrite because I don't utilize my talent properly. If you wonder where my ambigous hate is comming from, its something about that. So clearly - my mind is however evolving, and that evolution is clearly featuring stupidity as a privilege of mine! I'm possibly wrong in everything - even Sex - even what I believe is right or wrong about my IT project - but it is yet a) going into the right directions and b) yielding me stuff for my private utilization of my intellect. That is the final thing. It is part of my image/True-ID/whatever - that I'm an intelligent mind. It is however not so that it is 'designed'/'produced' to be of any social use - while it is only 'supported' into that direction because of my Mission. Next to that I'm a stupid fuckslut or horribly arrogant and idle/superficial Queen - to simply say that I'm supposed to shut up and trying to pragmatically start there to get me levered "out of the way" works, somehow, but only as far as answering those 'Kink questions' are concerned. Beyond that, where there is 'no-Kink' zone, it doesn't roll that way anymore.

Wave 1: Attacking the Facts
Here it is of course true that I may be making things up yet. You should however wonder for yourself in how far it is important for you to know from God about your destiny and these things in general.

Wave 2: Equalizing the Balance
Here you should understand that in regards of getting things right an equalized Balance cannot be the desired outcome because for as long as that is the given status the matter is unresolved.

Wave 3: Countering the Advisory
Fact is that not all things can be generalized around one single statement that on top of that is aimed at a specific context. Thus, it is for yourself to know what is right and that implies setting up your own priorities for what is worth knowing and what not and there the Antichrist will try to find leverage to get you into setting up priorities that allow him to capture you! Thus one should attempt to ascertain the protection of God against such mechanisms!


Stardate 55291.30610