My dear God encourages me

"Hate is Healthy" - I just previously wrote - and clearly - there are some downsides to that statement. Well - phew - yea - me being imperfect means that sometimes, well, I'm ahead or beyond myself; Which is leading ... maybe nowhere - but so the question asked is: Why does everything I tell here need to be 100% right?
I mean, you could think for yourself and danger ... well ... projected from some kind of wrong understanding of what I meant ... lets say I'm not the only source of danger and if anywhere at all you'll also find quite the opposite on this site!

I don't really know why - but I must guess that right now there isn't much of a point in anything else. I take it that what I'm inspired to do is somehow going to turn out right - whether I really understand the circumstances myself or not.
For instance: I'm sick of that game, back and forth, who is right, what is right, right vs. wrong, wrong vs. right, right vs. right - bla - I mean, the one sais this gets right, the other sais that against it and gets right, the other then responds against it and gets right ... just assuming that this is how it started, goes and ends, it makes my head spin!
For some apparent reason did I somehow change - personally - saying I turned into this kind of person, writing, thinking, and well - how can I take an accurate position without feedback? I mean, I have to think about everything myself and each next other step is again vastly just a product of my own mind - if you so will. How can I? How can I not? Some other stance is that I mustn't have any feedback since feedback would allow me to align to my opposites oppinion - as though I had none of my own. But there are many topics, many ideas, and while my current interest is something maybe entirely trivial - why do I need to right away need to have the top oppinion in existence? Well, perhaps because the Antichrist does it that way.
Well, whats the matter now anyway?

Right now, for a change, it is me! Right now, I'm the matter! Not in light on this or that, not as this or that, just me - as who expressed the rights and wrongs you'll find on this page.

A curve ball - perhaps

Reason is like an ocean, reason is fluid; And a sentence - a stream of thought - always only reflects a portion of the entirety within a human mind.

Whatever you perceive - you perceive and what happens in process barely turns into a conscious act. Once I'd say that your mind then does this and that - it does so - automatically. How exactly, well, you wouldn't bother to know - but this is kindof as close to the concept of cognitive fluidity as I can take you anyway. Why I would have the consciousness to tell that? Well, lets call it a gift of Enlightenment!

Its different, that much is sure, and while the own mind aligns to the nether realms of our consciousness - digging deeper and deeper into the subconscious, uncovering layer after layer of that which resides beneath that black fog of our mind - it changes. Think of subconsciousness as another fluid - perhaps like once mixing water and oil - so - of a different consistence. The conscious mind hovers at first like oil on top of the surface, but the more consciousness becomes like the subconscious, the better they mix.
I don't really think about what I write here - that much is sure too; Well, depending on what you define as 'thinking', 'reason' or 'thought'. If that is as you will the effort of formulating statements - then by far that is not what I'm doing! Pondering isn't that either! I take a look inside and understand. Thats how it works. Thats how it works once you recall upon memory, or, just know a complex thing as you happened to really really learn something - as in a hobby of yours. It is the thing with hobbies that they are one of our many activities, but amongst the many of them, they are those that we commit to for fun, we might say. It is what I would describe as a link to our nether realms, it is in principle the basis of our Understanding that unfolds itself into activity. It is at the most rudimentary spot of our reason - it sotospeak: Comes from within. There is no 'cognitive logic' that makes us follow a hobby, just a desire, merely a passion, thats the fluid.

Now is it in that state that there is barely a thing going on in mind that escapes the own sight; That also applies to things God would do. I mean, at first we may have to talk about Gods personal guidelines for doing and not doing things, but right now I just mean to say that God here is like a layer within subconsciousness - but - beneath that which is at its bottom. Where I once saw a thick black fog in my mind there now is space - and at the very bottom there are those solid grounds, well, somehow luminiscent - much like a marble inside of a glass of water. These things are alive from their own inside - what else can I say? Think of a room and out of nowhere a cloud of smoke appears and vanishes again. But within reason those things aren't simply appearances that just do have an outside - and there goes the difference between what I described as 'marbles' and what I described as 'smoke'. These marbles are solid - the own mind has no part to them - thus there is no inside - thus creating this 'solid' feel to them. The smoke however is much like reason or thought, an idea, things that contain information and this way God can talk to me.
It is though barely a matter of talking - but - that is a matter of perspective too. Aside of arbitrarily appearing clouds, think of constellations; And instead of simple smoke or dust - think of a sphere of light, so, think about radiation. Radiation, the emitted light sotospeak, in the way of smoke like a strong wind. So, a certain position basically nurtures my mindset in that I basically set sail to the wind - and while I every now and again can't tell me just how to align there is the other side to the story. For instance once I'm taken into a given direction but haven't got any cognitive material to work with its like a bit of a riddle. In times "the Spirit" comes in, takes over control and then I shall see.

This answers why I have problems telling you just "what" it is that God "tells" me. What I described as constellations and wind is perhaps better understood like a corona, or a "crown" of some sorts. It makes a really perceptive difference in how my mind is being filled. Visually, lets say the wind is blowing forward; Thus, as I turn left and try to go that way there is a given "odd" - saying that the wind doesn't blow into the direction I'm facing.
This at all mingles with the cognitive fluidity and makes up my realm of thought.

Done!

So is there not really knowing, but neither really a total lack of knowledge. It is Understanding - Understanding that I can most certainly put into words! So, most simple of all problems: Is there an absolute Truth? Wheter I know the answer or not eludes me, yet I have a given understanding - so we might say - but any given formulation would be obvious and possibly not quite touching ... well ... "your spots". This is a bit of what I may call 'extended insight'. Maybe you would think that what I see gets a bit too personal, but well, I can't change it, you can't change it and neither does God have any less of it! So the idea that as I am Enlightened, that is: Unified with the -All-surrounding Spirit-, I'm, well, like Him - kindof - around a very distant way of the idea. It is an honor, a privilege we might say that He there allowed me to see what He sees - although not quite as much. It suffices for my little human comprehension though - and in-deed is this 'little' human comprehension capable of understanding its littleness in the vastness of the Universe; It wouldn't necessarily take Enlightenment to get behind that idea!
But in the meantime do I also Understand that my existence is already more sophisticated than whatever we find in our Cosmos - and how that comes together is possibly not supposed to be literally explained other than through symbolisms and metaphors. It is there certainly difficult to find the right arrangement of proverbs and what not to get the right mix - for what it has to tell - if one lacks the corresponding insight! That doesn't say that you'll need to know the right things - it means that you'll need to know the right thing for sure! Its like color-blindness - if you're not there yet (Enlightened) - and you'll notice what I mean if you focus on the pragmatic means of not falling victim to delusion!

What can you tell yourself is effectively true? Ordinarily all you got in terms of God is faith - the suggestion, though it may be a dead givaway, that He is! So you quite literally don't know anything - and the testimony, be it the one asked for or the one that introduces you to the Truthfulness of Christ, is already something like a bit stronger type of hint. So of all the things you can quite literally do to get closer to God, you'll have to figure just what it is that would remain to be the most sober way to go. There are finally a lot of things you can do that are 'Christian' - many things that are written to be 'His Will' - but also is it written: "Seek and you shall find, Knock and the door will be opened!" - and evidently you can in all this finally not really escape the meaning of the Testimony!
You might, well, poor choice though!
You'll have to strip your mind of all things you can't really confirm - saying - once the Scripture "tells" you something and you don't quite immediately know how or why ... its weird - and as much as you might just want to neglect what I try to tell you here is it easy to get lost thereby! Someone might want to know "Why" - but isn't it enough "that"?!
And so is disbelief in the Book of Mormon a thing! You would beg to differ - well - I happened to be Seventh Day Adventist and as I pointed out that I became a Mormon people tried to lecture me about how wrong that would be, however, with arguments that were meaningless to me by that point in time. Whatever I'm going to tell of what follows - to baptism and Enlightenment - is beyond 'this' - and while you're standing 'here' - whatever I'd be telling you wouldn't take you there. There is this one door that is opened by God if you knock - and once you knocked, well, I'd assume that you'd also want to go through it!

Deathwing Returns!

I Love Deathwing, kindof, at least the Trailer (World of Warcraft - Cataclysm) - well - lets say I have a lot in common with that ... uhm ... 'guy' (at least as far as the Trailer is concerned). It would be funny to have a Deathwing Fluffy - funny and awesome - but well, "in my mind" I have it; And well, that is kindof enough.
That there is a certain hate or anger in me is a fact - that I don't (seem to) do anything against it may be accounted for being spoiled. But that is so from a philosophical perspective that does arbitrarily align Christian thought to a given idea - which is to me the product of earlier mentioned colour-blindness. So, I'll get into that right away, however, before that I want to introduce you to a given perspective that will leave you most definitely stranded at first (in that given idea): A zealous force strives for a goal, and nuisances in the way once imposed to be an odd that can't be dodged, do require a grade of effort to be overcome.

Or, in other words: Hate occurs! Anger Arises! It are those words that allow you to philosophically 'attach' to them, but do notice, if you can try, to understand how the meaning changes as you do! Christ was zaelous, point and case that of the incident at the Temple. Naturally speaking: Gods intent for what the Temple was to be for, how it was supposed to be integrated into the culture of Israel, wasn't fulfilled by man - instead he turned it into something He disliked - and "for the Love of God" - if He can't stand it - it isn't the word 'Anger' or 'Hate' that once projected into given act that could stop Him! Thus I may have you in a conflict. A Christian wouldn't dare to "defile" the name of Christ, hence he/she wouldn't easily 'project' the given terms into that act - but I'm different of course! Some people may assume that Joseph Smith Jr. did in-deed see two personages, but not so that there were Father and Christ, but much more so the Father and 'a' Son, but its of course, well, 'hidden in the dark'.
For the matter of freedom of thinking - let me put it that way, so, in form of a question: "Is it so, that through this Enlightenment I have a sure Understanding of the Gospel, so that whatever I do express in relation to my Understanding does perfectly line up to its idea?".
This would mean to you, ordinary "colour-blind" human being, that I'd make random guesses and by some consequence of the matter get the right idea; As to say: Pulling things out of my butt. If I were to answer the question with yes and would think it to work that way - well - what I would do would certainly have to be some kind of magic - and well - I do in-deed play with the idea to setup a topic somewhere labeled as 'Blue Magic'. It does in deed happen to be something of that sort, while, the more you believe in magic all-together the more I'd have to call it a form of the same. But what so would matter to you were the appearance, the result, while how I do it - that is already a part of the magic; saying, this 'arbitrary guessing' (the pulling of the things from my butthole) would just be the way you related to it.
I call it blue magic because the colors vastly turn out to be Blue - so - inside - in the nether realms.

As the thing you should have learned says that reason is fluid - I want to say that there is an intrinsic Understanding to that grade of consciousness that I live by - yet it doesn't render me independent to external sources of information, although, in a certain way it does. On the worse cases I have an idea and I recall that I once read some passage in the Bible I could quote there, so go look for it and find that it isn't quite written that clearly, and then find how I can else fix something together MacGyver/A-Team style.
What stands in foreground to me here is that I'm in some way yet the one responsible for the product of my doing - that is displayed in the process of investigation. This means that God wants to stay in the background - He wants us to go our own ways - and whether I by now do these things for your good or for some promised land (thus, ego-istic reasons), that shouldn't be much of an important thing. I know however that if I were to let's say engage into this from a different angle, well, I'd be simply returning to rewriting older things - nothing like this though, and would approach them from whatever I have gained so far. For the one part my mind however is too tired right now, which is not a matter of my physical constitution at the time being but a simple matter of my state of mind, for another thing I don't quite see "the handles" right now - and this way we might go on - saying: What I do right now is taking, well, a bit of a larger curve around; Like a long Orbit.

Yes in-deed!

I mean - Apostolic Legacy! That was however the thing that fascinated me beginning with my studies that then led me to this Enlightenment. It should kindof get you on that trip as well! Say, well, it isn't about me this time, it is just an objective perception of that matter; But well, if your faith in it would stop because I happened to go that way, well; ... You might want to re-read my Gospel to just dig exactly what I wrote there! Is it so that you know that my individual happiness is unsupported by the Gospel - or God - or Enlightenment - or the Apostolic Legacy? I mean, you better be sure about that!

Its your mind playing tricks on you - and I wouldn't really need to tell you what happens when and why or how! You see the images - your mind mixes is with all sorts of things you relate to Sex with the addition that I speak of God but not taking my words carefully you'll only see the worse conjunction possibly imaginable. Then maybe for a split moment you see the light but right away you mean to know "but how?" - "How what?". Its as though you can't take me for an ordinary human being anymore - supposing yourself to put me into a very special drawer for some reason - and the less you think of it the more sense it'll make that way; It's like weeds that cover everything else that had grown. So look at it - that Devil - that odd - that obstacle - its like a wooden board that just stands there, or maybe some figure pushing its hand against your chest to make you stop. If you can see beyond it you'll understand what I mean!

The point of the matter I had on mind though was that what I was dealing with isn't some Apostle comming through my door and lecturing me somehow; But the very essence of learning things from God. This means that God will in first place have a place prepared, in a manner of speaking, where you don't get if you miss out on following His most basic set of instructions! So if you wonder: "Why Enlightenment?" - You just don't get it! Without it, what would you need to do? You'd have to come to God and ask for it! Clearly! But what He tells you - then - are things you'd have to follow and by doing so you shall see just why! Naturally, if you can't do that, don't be surprised if you don't get any closer! Or just don't see the light!
I mean, where would you take the measurement on me to see whether I could be Enlightened or not?

There is an un-emotional form of Hate! We might otherwise call it 'despise' or 'dis-interest' - it simply is the 'anti' of Love - and if you don't Love God your interest will be caught up in illusions about Him! Next to that God will try to make you solid, which means, He'll seek to disappoint various of your expectations and rejoyce in you once you don't snap out! Can you measure it here?
I'll tell you what I think: You can never legitimately measure it unless you got an idea of what this Enlightenment of His actually means or is all about! Thats why I'm here, we might say, and if you don't understand what I tell you then think whether it might just be because you don't want to hear what I say! And it sucks! It sucks how an actually beautiful topic gets wasted because of nonsense like I got to struggle against here!

Yes! Hello! Knock-Knock! Its here! But all you see is ... what?

Silly me!

I did in-deed think that telling you that God is encouraging me to be confident about my Understanding would do any good! But then you mean that this or that is an issue and all I can ever tell you is that its nonsense! Bullshit! Nothing of meaning or Understanding! So I feel the thing, pardon me! Of course I must have Understanding for you but in that Understanding I do see that the point where any more 'beloved Understanding' would be useless! Pointless! Not good! If it means that you'll grow mad at me - well then - its a step forward however once its gotten to you somehow that I am the way God has appointed for you! So be upset! Smack the Door shut! Its not like I'm not used to it!

And evidently - there is not much I could do in my situation other than jacking off sometimes - really! I mean, if Apostles were to be as, well, you would picture them, He could as well send Robots - thats the point!

And why does God not do so? Well, strange thing? You naturally are glitched now! Because we all know that its got to be Human beings, evidently and nobody complains about that! But dare me having a little bit something of a human signature! Well, it turns out, yea, that this encouragement takes me here, paves me into the ground - sotospeak - as a modern type of Apostle that is strictly grown from within Enlightenment without any corresponding sort of Social Contact! Or 'Desciple' if Apostle were too much, but well, for the time being Apostle is the word! Now, what it means to be an Apostle - that should be explained by one - and what I explain would be what means to be, well, whatever you would want to call me - so, which is all in all a bullshit topic without a proper setup of definitions. How does: "Human being that acts up as though it were sent by God" sound? On the other hand, what about "Human being that is filled by Gods Hands with an Understanding He intends to be carried forth unto humanity"? - Messatsu!

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