You don't know my life. You are one individual of many - I am one individual of many - but amongst all the many individuals known to me I'm different! Why is that? Yes! I am the one amongst all them that is me. So, putting a point onto a paper and connecting all individuals known to me by lines - the most lines will arrive at me - or - there is no individual that won't be lined to me somehow. Why? Well - logical! You have the same for yourself. There I'm just a dot with a line towards you and there may not be much more lines going away from me at all.
Next ingredient in this presentation is one particular episode of the Twilight Zone. It is Episode 73 (Its a good life) or the third episode in the Twilight Zone Movie (83).
Final entry to the list of ingredients is the word called: Fatigue.
What Fatigue can do is the following - as - real life experience: C++ in general looks the following:
And once working on it - and I don't like some code - I'd be removing it. So I'd turn towards my code, having on my mind that I want to delete something, so I get to the file where its in - 'would' navigate to the line I want to have changed and do accordingly. But fatigue has me just skip on the whole navigating to the line part and just delete an arbitrary line. I would see it then, well of course, and "woops" - OK - ctrl+z and alright: "What was I doing again?". Well yea, that is fatigue!
Now what I mean to get at within point 1 of this list of ingredients is the following: It is a logical conclusion of mankind to assume that the appearances of fatigue should be countered by rest. So I'd 'have to' rest - and from all the readers that read it the good advise would be pounding my way and sure - I GET IT!!!. So, for all good recipies to get special there will need to be some secret ingredient. Point this time - the previous article - the one called 'time'. I wrote about rest somewhere - that I should rest up rather than writing - but I wrote anyway and that on a polite sidenote for more than 6 hours. So I went to bed thereafter and woke up totally rested out. So - I wasn't doing anything wrong from a standpoint of organizing my own life there! Then matter of fact I was cleaning up my room before I got into this - so I get that done too every now and again. Well yea - proud of myself or not - call it a polite form of sarcasm along the way!
So, whats up with that Twilight Zone Episode there? Well, its about a boy ... but ... this isn't the right time to get into that.
Some more on Fatigue: Fatigue and Exhausture come in two different ways. I can be relaxed, recovered, rejuvinated - but still suffer fatigue. Fatigue is there possibly the prime factor for all the many mistakes you'll find on this site - so - expressions that went wrong, explenations that lack in something or "something"; And the general difference between me making count what I mean in a good way and me "loosing out" on something I got written is about taking those extra-routes - elonguating an expression in terms of content or taking two or three sentences more to elaborate on something. But on the other end there is time - and I know that soon enough you'll figure that I should basically let things rest - trying to not 'Ad-Hoc' everything up but to give it a day or two to complete something. Its like so that whenever I have a 'but' you'll have one too. But once I try to get objective about that but, nobody cares anymore and so - this story would suffer the same end as all the rest.
Now I do have something in mind - but the entire thing were worth writing a book but all I got time and scope for is to dedicate a couple of sentences to it. Logically I may assume that those sentences once properly placed do cause folks to think about it - the obvious will unfold and within all the thoughts that arise there weren't much of a difference to me writing some more. Of course people that don't expect that they will have to do a little bit of their own thinking will fall flat on their snouts and continue whining about how stupid I am.
Were my life simple - would I have a working contract, submitting my job here to the same rules as ordinary work - could I just be boss of my own fate enough as to say: I do not have the day tomorrow. Now wouldn't it be awesome to have a camera panning into my room to see just why?
I do matter of fact have one writing that is there still clipped into my text-editor that gets a bit of time until I'll continue with it. The reason I didn't finish it yet was that I had no time. I had to get to bed early so I wouldn't complain about having work "tomorrow". What happened is that at work I wasn't in top shape either. The idea is very much that would I have stayed up until late - perhaps even 1 a.m. or later - I would have been in no worse shape or maybe even in a better shape.
As I wrote this - a certain feeling came up within me - but I possibly shouldn't dare to express it because it would require me to use words that might be offensive. But why is that? I mean, where is that feeling comming from? I would suppose that there is some clique, group of beings somewhere where this is a bit of a really important topic. I can't easily figure out why - but re-playing the scene in my mind should sooner or later take me there. However, before I do so - I already notice: I wonder of getting to a point - a conclusion - but it doesn't feel as though its there - and that feeling isn't about what I write but about what will be conceived. There is still that concern: Can I conceive that?
So - this entire topic just got magnitudes more complex - and you might wonder where my fatigue would come from? So around some point, when me merely human being touch the edges of my minds capacity and I dare to express that - like: "Give me a fucking break!" "talk to me if "you" so smart" - stuff like that - I dig something that will be the reason for why nobody cares - or is the reason therefore. I there then ignore a certain scope of furthermore complexity - and while it yet remained unmentioned I may be doing good by changing that. It's all about "it" - while "it" is simply a word put forth to be representative of all here - but "it" - "it" is only that what doesn't matter. It's like that number in math that doesn't exist - that has the definition that e-square is minus 1. Or something. It is called the 'imaginary unit' that extends the real number system into the system of complex numbers. Thereby "it" is simply not enough for whatever my point may be. What amount and type of talk "it" takes to make "it" count may differ from case to case, but "it" is thereby a constant I ... wellllll ... what can I do about it?
If the idea though became that I'm helpless, that things grew over my head or something; Well - in case I'll try to get into "it" I may as back and forth would stack one topic upon the other where I will be concerned to solve the issue while the other will only wait until I lacked somewhere to jump in and say "bullshit". So, now - by accident - this answers that issue of why that feeling came up previously. There was my statement and people might understand and think that it would be perfectly within reason to give me a helping hand or so "but" - something about it wouldn't be quite waterproof. So does the sole existence of the argument provided above impose a problem to finding excuses against my stance - and - an educated guess of mine is that I will have to be called a liar.
What remains to be discussed - or what pops up as next step priority - is what exactly I'm doing. But that wasn't quite my point here. In first place I only meant to apologize for various mistakes here. But an apology may be received the wrong way. There is substance to my situation - substance that creates, metaphorically speaking, a gap between what you might understand from it and how I continue with my life as opposed to what you'd think I should do. As a simple matter of right and wrong can you be right in believing or understanding that I should give up or focus on something else or changing my priorities; Be it a friendly or a hostile thought. What differs is what the apology implies. Simply put: What is the factor of human failure and what is simply cause and effect beyond my influence?
So we add God to the equasion - and "shouldn't God ..." - but I am much on His side, wondering: Can't we ask for a little bit of Understanding? And woosh: An entirely new topic added to the scene - something that most possibly grows into yet another form of individual complexity. Speaking of complexity though wouldn't right away allow you to really understand it. The real complexity of this new Topic is however not a matter of the topic itself being much more complicated than the mere concept of Understanding - or to grow beyond the simple immediate Comprehension of a thing and to begin to Comprehend that which demands itself to be Understood. Well, what makes it so complicated is "it". "It" or whatever else - well - lets just start off by millenia of human rebellion against the reign of God. I don't like blaming things on the Devil, its way too much of an easy excuse, but I do like the Symbolism of the Devil within human nature. So, by simply doing my thing - putting my effort into learning and expressing the fruits of my study - I've somehow dropped into the depths of the war between man and God. Now what I think of the figure that a simple apology took me here - concludes however rather simply! It must have been the Antichrist or something that throws the entire Volume of his prolonged wisdom against me. Once I fix something down the road he'll tear something apart further up. Once I get up to that and fix that he'll break something further down. What I have to be asking you is: What scope of complexity are you capable of digging? I'd say that this is quite the edge - and that doesn't say that everything got concluded; Saying, this would finally yet be just like a corn of sand in the all and everything of ""it"". Call it a matter of protection or showing off my 'legit equip' - in this point of saying what up. You would surely need to understand for yourself where to put the limits of "where whatever then" would have to go!
This is just to show what I expect - so far - from saying that I have problems ... problems finding the time or the right pace ... it is at this point trivial of course. It is also a good image - once more - to show you that I don't seek the 'right' of it all in all the imaginable and un-imaginable corners of the universe. But well, of course my I.T. project looks a little bit like that. Lets take GTA for instance - it is a limitted world - finally a square piece of virtual data that has ends here and there - and I would speak to myself: That ain't enough!
This is of course the flipside of it - or: As I would say that I don't look for the right by thinking of all and everything one can or can't possibly think about - there is nothing to stop someone from suggesting that I project too much from too little. God however can never be too little and that is the entire foundation of why I can virtually explain everything! But let that be an issue for another time!
On top of that would my lacking here and there make a perfectly sound piece of article look stupid - but in that sense its only a matter of time and ... ["will" if you so will] ... to make it all come together. But Will isn't everything!
Let that be an advise for now - something I've learned and mean to be quite sure about - where a simple 'explenation' would look a little like: A mans capacity to want is only a third of what matters for living! There also is 'life' and next to that there is 'thought'.
Wanting of course manages to help someone persue or push through - but you'll obviously figure: What matters is the thing being persued or that the simple will doesn't automatically draft the right answers! Take this as an example! I've meant to write about my errors and mistakes quite often so far but never came around 'this' very specific constellation of idea. Would this work? Apparently not for everything - but effectively that is yours to figure!
Obviously the information is there - nothing suggesting that I couldn't have written this years ago - but aside of a certain grade of personal experience there is the knowledge of what so happens to matter once I say: "I made a mistake there!". The more "variables" I manage to learn of, the more complicated it becomes to write something appropriate and that increases the ... well, maybe not. On the other hand can it be the case that once I missed out on a hint - maybe because I just didn't know how to handle it - that I so suffer my own stupidity and ramble around while I don't know what else to say. But one thing is certain: "It" will try to consume the entire scope of your mind until you only see the troubles - and not the answers!
So - the Twilight Zone. The introduced episode is about a boy that can wish everything into existence - or out of it - so that the original episode begins with the introduction that other than that village where the episode plays nothing exists anymore because the boy had wished it away. The question to be asked here is that for the boys understanding of the world around him. One would watch that episode and find that his family makes a lot of mistakes in encouraging him, but, once the boy simply doesn't understand those matured points of views they endanger themselves to be wished away or something. The movie does it a bit better at that point - at least for the purpose of here. It adds a teacher to the scene who would finally take care of the boy while the boy had somehow grown fond of her. But more so does the boy gather a certain understanding, well, he is asking questions, questions like: "Why?". He also states that he only wants to make people happy and doesn't understand the peoples ungreatfulness. The problem here of course is that he doesn't see the world as it is from his young minds perspective. Someone that talks too much is a desturbance, hence needs to shut up, so he wishes that persons mouth away - something that seems totally legit but naturally has effects that cause fear and desturbance. So the teacher at some point near the end utters the suggestion that his wishes might grow too big for him to control - which to the understanding featured here isn't about the physical magnitude of the thing that is being wished for - but the many little human details involved. His wishes had already grown beyond him. He wanted to make people happy but the people involved were frightened to death. He couldn't understand what to do to make them happy - and that of course is the problem of naivity.
Now, killing two birds with one stone - logic dictated me a measure of things I have to expect from mentioning this episode, but, its been a concern on my mind for quite some time now anway; well; That at the far end of the road, AAAAALL things considered, within whatever scope available to me, the problem is that of "giving power to an immature person". That immature person of course would be me - and that power given would be people that would follow my way. In other words: Joseph Smith Junior went around and demanded other peoples wifes, well, obviously because he could; And the question that follows comes without answer: What would be different about me?
At some point in that story - or another one - you'd curse God for choosing me - while some would make it easy for themselves and say that He can't have chosen me. What can I say? "Thanks Joseph!". But God is great - and this may enter the volumes of History as a figure of just how Gods ways are greater than ours. Well, take it like that magic trick of pulling a bunny out of a tophat. So, the hat is empty, I can't escape, no way out - God failed, everyone who chooses my God is forsaken, bla-dee-bla. It is this 'point' - or - one of those points at the end of complexities upon complexities or volumes and scopes after volumes and scopes - where you can be 'sure' - utterly and utmostful 'sure' - that I'm wrong. It is a dead end for me - it is the evidence that my wisdom is built on sand - it is the 'what things always come down to in the end' that I can't answer. Well, give it a few lines more and that ... well ... will have changed! And then? Then what? Then, who stands on sand? Who's then yelling down from the rock just who sucks? Wanna place any bets?
Anti-Spoiler Measurement so you can think about it. I mean, now! Here! There is the conclusion I'm offering. Click it either with certainty or curiosity - but realize: Once you clicked its too late to go back and mean it any better! Did you give it any time? Or, did you not truly believe ... uhm, well, let me write that thing up first!
It has been said - or assumed - that my entire entertainment in the Matrix has been a delusion, something like too much of a sip of special effects, something like over-rating the hype that existed round about it and that maybe mixed with an exageration into the concept of 'the one' - yet the problem with things to which there is more than that what meets the eye is that those things so often remain hidden to the average sight! And so is the problem with one man struggling with another about who knows more about something that escapes the public eye!
Well, what I wanted you to see in this example of the boy is a visible example of our own mindset and things that escape our way of thought. It isn't just the presence or absence of information, it is our 'mind-set', the 'way' we think, that makes us more receptive of the one and less receptive to the other type of idea. Per ordinary that is a part of what makes us individual and in that isn't really something that is meant to ever change; But for matters of peace and joy that ends around a few points that have to be of common value. Now is my fatigue, the availability of time, the cleanliness of my room - all that - things I get along with, things I can handle, things that I call part of the way how life is hard - but as I've written once or twice already is it not part of my faith that it is to remain that way - and I don't speak of my own situation there. It is that once 'everything', I repeat: every-thing, changes to the better that my individual situation therein will improve towards that greater idea too. "Whether you want it or not!".
Now I arrive at a point where stuff that was removed due to potential spoilers would be needed - and thereby I also mean to explain how come I don't, uhm, why I prefer to leave what I wrote the way I wrote it. It happened sometimes that in an attempt to smoothen the experience of what I've written I would have to remove things entirely - but good OK, whats the difference? And yea, quite right: Whats the difference?
More is less - yea - if you only have a limitted volume for stuff to fit in - but less is too few once the ambition is to get as much as possible! But well - beside the point that is!
So, anyway - I hope that you can see the different problems you run into due to your individual background and corresponding lacks in sight on these topics! I mean, you can't - literally and quite obviously with no shame attached - unless you happened to be concerned of this or that yourself for quite some time, know more than me - or understand anything round about it any better! Its impossible! Naturally you do have and are furthermore entitled to an oppinion - but be sure not to make the same mistakes as that boy in that story about juvenile nature!
But now off to something else
Or: The other thing
I was "inspired" to compare it for you to a laboratory - that is - my work - or: Where I mentioned that camera panning into my room; There I was about to make that comparison but I would think twice about it and all it essentially takes is a short look; Well - into my, uhm, "delusion", to feel whether or what the outcome will be. If I feel an end - I know that it is there and by the feeling know what it will be or is. Its really handy! As God is superior to us and we're simply in-ferior, we're not expected to "use" that beyond our individual capacity and hence there is additional information provided - like - how much of a point there would be to it at the given point in time. Sometimes, to just scratch it, its more or less trivial - saying - the individual path is more important than other things or, well, whatever. However - I felt that I lacked the 'charge' for it. Once I have no alternatives to write about I'd also go and get into it anyway. Its about learning, but, well.
Its a laboratory where things are grown, so, maybe in tubes of class - however - it takes time for things to evolve to the point where things are taken from the shelves and worked with. By ordinary that may just be as simple as quite literally waiting. It takes time for the own mind to digest certain things, to grow beyond an idea as to (re-)approach it from a different standpoint - and in that motion, from waiting to re-engaging I see quite a lot of effort already. Its not simply taking a ... thing ... and slapping it on the table. The information round about it needs to be recollected, the circumstances, dependencies and all that recalled and the up-to-date individual 'right-now' perspective may add the one or the other thing to it as well. The amount of information would metaphorically determine the 'size' of the ship or boat - where a speedboat is light and a quick-turner, a freighter though would take a longer curve. So, eventually it takes like five minutes or so before I can start going. Then it is necessary - at least it turns out to be practical - to think prior to writing; Which uhm, depends. If the thing is something that has to be written down anyway I don't need to think about it, but, once I sense that what I'm going into is a bit wide I'll lay out to myself just what is involved and as in the earlier case might even ommit it entirely. That is something I didn't learn anyway - although people would advise it - this thinking before speaking - but that is either way for me implied into learning to get along with what I will have to write anyway.
Now, whether or not the inspiration comes in the way you would want it to isn't really important for me - what matters is that it is there.
I luckily do have a nice example by now - obviously ;). So, take the Galaxy - or - what would resemble a Galaxy - in what I showed up to this point about MoA. Its a simple thing, nothing special - some rudimentary C++ and OpenGL will take you there, no doubt. But the difference between what I show you there and you achieving the very same looks - well - considering that you'll just copy the look - is what I would call "its being there". So, the most simple way were to just draw the circles and "arms" using simple OpenGL calls and it'd "be there" - but if you wrote a class called 'Galaxy' that does the same thing based on certain base-values its 'being there' is more. You can take it and create multiple instances of it - each with a different size, anatomy and orientation - by simply giving each a different set of values. To take it ahead: I don't doubt that someone else could achieve the very same thing as I did, or possibly even more than what is there - given the time and amount of people (yea, right) - but would in that yet take the credit of being its 'creator'.
Either way - if you wrote a class and you simply produced instances of it - is again not really 'being there' because it isn't really part of a Virtual Reality that ... 'is there' ... because it depends on input being given to it. We might get into nitpicking about definitions at this point, but matter of fact are my Galaxies there produced from random numbers into a virtual grid that is capable of holding a certain capacity and to further adapt one galaxy to fill it with stars - and so forth. That means that they are almost as much there as possible. More there were if I also took care of storing them to file - but beyond that its only about improving the looks while they are already in place and point.
One thing to spice up my little demo were to improve the navigation - or to allow the selection of different galaxies or,and,or,this that and that, but, it wouldn't make too much of a difference for once - saying - it won't change anything about their virtual presence although in process I'd improve the interfaces where they now might glitch or bug out as they haven't been upgraded for that purpose yet.
Now is there stage 2 waiting ahead - and just thinking about it right now makes my head a little bit heavy. I thought that I would have the right solution, worked it out a little bit already, but during various processes of working on the one or the other thing I have worked out another possibility that more and more gains my favour. In the end it isn't really a lot of work either, especially since I already covered the basic logic for real - so - certain pieces that were needed and further grew in complexity and thus tome some form of shabbyness can be upgraded during the second go and can thereby then possibly reduce the amount of code by half - also yielding a more stable and dynamic product - but within all these possibilities and the yet potential unknown ideal the question isn't 'what' or 'how much' must be done now to achieve the goal in sight, but what has to be done at all to get to the point where aiming at the goal in sight will yield the better result.
By the way: There isn't really anything super-genious about the accomplishment so far in and of itself - but of course the idea no matter how many similar-ish things there may be is worth its own weight!
Now - the way this makes an example is basically the 'break' I'm taking now - which is basically the 'worse case scenario' for defending my work, so, those points where I don't quite actually have any or the results being in some way - well - outdated or apparently stagnating. These breaks however don't stop me from hacking the one or the other thing together, whether it'll be useful or not, since after all - if it isn't - it is at least useful for the experience gained therefrom. I've so recently come to enjoy a little bit of weed again and while I was about to write a new segment to my code I did so under the influence. I took the way I was about to go but realized - or - I didn't quite work on the thing I was supposed to but what else made sense and would need ... it doesn't matter ... what I had in the end is a quite complete draft of the virtual reality I wanted - built on the presumed foundation into the intended direction - and that within a couple of days but vastly just as draft and not even compiled. As I got closer to the end I attempted to then start compiling it in - beginning with what would need to be there at first - and there my high mind began to really lack - but - well, I wasted more time on compiling than I perhaps should, considering some projected form of demand, yet it wasted enough time to take me to the end of the day with a little bit accomplished thus far and as dope ran out the last remaining crums and the comming down, the little bit of a relaxed mind plus the gained distance from the code made me realize that it was't the right way. So, instead of spending weeks on getting it all to run - the few days of drawing it up did the same. In that I basically tried three different ways of implementing the shader for that given stage of the VR - two lay-out-wise and the last one in terms of where and how. The big interest is the way of data - the from where to where - when it is processed and how - the different stages and operations of processing it and the corresponding levels of data required - where I thus recognized four or five ways I didn't want it. That usually starts with "why not simply" ... and ends with "that why!". Then it goes on with "why not simply" - and eventually leads to the right configuration. This means, more to the point, that I have tried different ways of taking the data from the generator to the VR and know various consequences depending on how it is layed out - so that now "I would simply" ... but that involves the specific knowledge of the different cogs that need to otherwise run together. That is so the big trouble I encountered frequently - that it is easy to adjust once just two cogs are running with each other, but more complicated if something that "now" does desturb is there because something else "required it" - so - something that once was the very best way of doing something now turned out to be flawed. Another thing of course are inspirations - or - the way an individual thing grows beyond the original intent during the progress. Then one would sacrifice "this" for "that" - and that eventually means that the key items need to be moved to another place. Well, yea - I confess: Sometimes I 'cover' some personal flaws - like - sometimes the intial take may really not have been the most ideal way of doing it for the point in time - and then maybe build a lot of trash to get where someone else would have started anyway - but I take it that the context is rather individual depending on what is worked on. I mean, after all it is best to focus on the different operations that are needed - logically - so we take a class where the virtual data is stored in, the class where we then collect the handles for what is to be rendered and throw the shader into that. We simply take a function that takes the file data and reads it into the given buffers. But now the virtual data isn't just there for the graphics - and yea - that was my problem, so, I'm not quite as bad as I made it look. It is also there for the virtual environment, the collision detection and all the rest of that.
So I now have worked out a few problems for myself that will be on my mind as I think of a final answer, which isn't my "Genious", but, my 'Genious' - not "me" - but certainly a point of blessing. Wouldn't it be easier if it just 'happened'? Well, certainly it would! But what happened happened - and as consequence I'll have more fun piecing everything together! You should be told by now how God works - and there is no reason why He would change that on me - and that is effectively for the better. Not in the narrow sight, but as for a free human being!
So I was technically unfree in doing all those mistakes, but who knows? I have possibly been free but just not seeing - and thats how I felt - the right answer. Then came an insight, an idea or inspiration if you so will, hinting out: "Hey, try that - wouldn't it be cool?" and well, yea, it would be quite awesome - so - the process needs to change. Instead of aiming at that point and fixing things down, this and that needs to be tied loose and in progress a huge mess is eventually produced but while it was a non-included draft anyway there was half the pain to it - and now it takes time for the different pieces to grow so I can re-assemble them. A few ideas aren't really new thereby, but, just happened to be a matter of just this or that joint or section of the program; And there on top of it all is it not my vision to bend around to adjust to those ideas but to have a tight system that produces them from bold logic. That way the code will be as lean and clean as possible - but does thus naturally need to be really specific.
When I do really have nothing else to do I look into sexual matters - looking at myself - picking out a few splinters or maybe diving through another glass pane or whatever - and eventually that imposes its own stress. See, perhaps this is the very best way to introduce you to that concept. Lets say we have words - obviously names for folders - where content is being dropped into. Now will this create a system of sort, an order of things, an individual perfection, and it will grow as we put love into it. But then something maybe doesn't fit - or something gets added that changes the balance of it, things will need to be shifted around and something that once has been one id-tag would break open into four. This split is however not obvious at first sight - one will have to grow to the point of cognition where it becomes visible. In that manner we can speak of Atoms - that once used to be known as simple spheres, but then there were nuclei and electrons, then there were quarks and so on. In terms of that we however have a linear progression - give or take - while Quarks on their own make up a totally individual scope of reality. In that sense is it often a matter of understanding 'the one thing' right in order to achieve progress of some kind; And while I today only need to look into the Wikipedia or some article of it to be told what Quarks are and how they provide theoretical space for a wide variety of different kinds of matter beyond the atomic mass we know did it not rain a book from heaven that explained it! From a different angle are we today sitting on a huge pile of knowledge and given its complexity would we possibly be well advised in re-compiling it - making abbreviations more comprehensive, putting things that align to each other into a more comprehensive context, but as large as the pieces of information are as huge of a shift would it be to do that. It happens every now and again once some magazine attempts to explain matter for instance, that very specific bits and pieces of the puzzle are taken together that in reality however occured here and there throughout history in different circumstances and possibly without immediate connections drawn. It is not a solution to stack one thing upon the other once the thing itself is fundamental - so - in my sexuality I need to recompile my idea, starting from the start again with the new order in mind, and while certain things are grown into a certain term it of course costs to pull them out of there. The pragmatic advise were to stop once a change occurs, to visualize the target and prepare the own mind to build on it. That however on its own does already cost and will ultimately have the individual that does so ponder upon it for a while longer to internally really adjust to it. The more changes that happen the more annoying it would be so that someone who is used to a lot of shifts of balance has an easier way on. Add to that that not all people mean well, that there is a lot of confusion and misconception that isn't quite obvious - saying - for the bollocks to get removed the clear and edible foundation will need to be obtained, but where to even start?
It isn't quite as simple as to say that some kink into feces is obviously sick - but neither is it wrong to assume that. Now, what stance would one take and where would it lead? If it has to be assumed that the less obvious is however true for some weird reason - that would be the right position to take but would certainly not change the truth about it. In that sense is the next danger the state of immersion into the chosen path - so that something that makes sense may stick, filling up terms in their logic, but through this individual alignment obscuring the sight on the reality of things. This why I need God - who does every now and then provide me with an insight that eventually goes against what I believe. So far those things eventually stalled me in certain points - saying that I wouldn't really look into it while eventually it becomes an issue that aligns to the one or the other thing. This way God usually takes control upon the way I'm going - or - at first am I at least free to believe that. I can thereby not look past the impression that my mind is sometimes held back - or - as I come to wonder "what the point" of a certain thing is, I am already beyond some critical point about it. That means that while I have discarded certain investigations and wondered "whats the point" as I was taken back to it, I had all in all worked out enough to gain a target insight - something that I would ask "whats the point" just the same because I'm anyway in that mood of asking for the point of whatever I'm doing, but eventually time passes and there is not much of a point in not looking further into it.
But so does the fatigue I'm suffering matter - as quite right: The ability to shift things back and forth.
The idea - or the picture, yes - the picture could look like the image of two colliding Galaxies. The idea is here that either two become one or one becomes two - but which star goes where is a process of its own that yet determines the quality of the given motion. This problem also has a quite severe impact on me once I write - moved into something maybe a little bit too soon and then have to find something else that mattered and - well - then what?
However - the idea with colliding Galaxies ... well ... don't blow it out of proportions please! You can suggest that it is quite as 'massive' as that - but that would make it also easier for you to believe that I'm making too big of a deal out of something. A real mess - a really real mess of magnitude - is having long uncombed hair and the individual hairs clustering up together, perhaps even having knots in them so that combing through them will tear out whatever is attached to them. That is basically just the same as two colliding galaxies; In this idea.
Or yea, bubble gum in the hair.
Professionals will understand that there is a certain ... well ... call it a 'thing' ... against fatigue - which is called: Professionality, it is the practicing of rudimentary skills that function - but - that doesn't protect someone against the next higher stage - the point where these functions/skills are utilized to accomplish something remotely usefull. It would simply be too bad would I have forgotten to mention that!
I guess that everyone who has played a little bit of GTA once for hours knows that. Blindly rushing through the streets aimlessly - just hitting gas and somehow reacting to the raw outlines of obstacles, and then, well, navigating quite perfectly around the corners as though being in some sort of battle-trance. So, snake eating its own tail? Well - in different situations where the structure of the odds is different that changes. Once a high grade of awareness is required to navigate, mind grows tired eventually and by memorizing this and that eventually there even will be an improvement - to say - it depends on your experience just how you'll accept the point of fatigue presented here. The measurement of stuff I do as based on the appearances of my fatigue will require a factor of knowledge about my menthal capacity and while that isn't present the product will be bullshit - just saying.
But, being a responsible person I must recognize that I'm slowly getting to the limit here and hence would for a change opt to get out after this quite awesome run - awesome in my oppinion - to not really lack behind on that point for a smooth ending!
Stardate 55292.31053